


Fight or Flight

by Cattailbow



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Slow Burn (probably), lena and widow are minor characters, mei aleks satya and widow are minor characters!, reinhardt makes a cameo in chapter 9, writing straight characters is a mess but hopefully not too messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-07-22 13:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 63,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7441447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cattailbow/pseuds/Cattailbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Modern/Apartment! AU. Alt Title: Sit Back and Watch Straight Man Fall in Love with Unstoppable Force.)</p><p>He, Hanzo, is a guy that wants to move in to his new apartment and start his new job. He, Jesse, want to find a way to make it work. They try and figure it out together, despite one of them being as straight as an uncooked pasta noodle.</p><p>Hanzo analyzes himself, lives a little, and discovers there may be more to his life than how he's been raised. That and the company he inherits. Jesse, despite finding a community where he can be himself, knows there are boundaries. It's about time and trust and learning a bit about heteronormativity. Casual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> planning to continue past chapter 1 but we'll see i suppose. only mccree/hanzo show up in chapter 1. if their characterization seems off im sorry i dont write very often! haha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: It's been a while since I began writing this! I will one day go back and edit, change, and transform this work. However, the day has yet come. If I were to rewrite this again, I would change a whole lot of it. tbh there is so much I would change. alright, hope you enjoy!

"You've got a beautiful set of eyes there, sweet pea". Jesse McCree tipped his hat and flashed his best smile. Hanzo stared with a stoic countenance.

  
"Aren't you a man? Disgusting".

  
Jesse's McFucked up this time.

  
He's not the type to flirt with people he doesn't know well. In fact, he's not the type to flirt. When's the last time he felt so inclined towards someone that he felt the need to butter them up? Fuck if he remembers. The obsession he has with this man is frivolous at best. It's been 3 solid weeks since they met and he thought it would be ok. Not anymore. Jesse has never had a problem he couldn't solve by fighting through it or running away. The issue is he didn't think either could get him through this time. Explaining himself might cause their entire relationship to collapse on itself. Running away wouldn't solve shit. If he's developed a crush on a homophobic man he might as well say a good ol' fashioned goodbye to any dreams of mutual interest.

  
He thought Hanzo was just so gosh darn handsome. He loved the way his hair looked so shiny and how his face become so bright when he smiled. Hanzo could flip McCree over and pinned to the floor with his hand behind his back and he'd be begging Hanzo to do it again.

  
"Ah".

  
Jesse looked up square at Hanzo's face. Hanzo either made a noise out of how disgusted he was or he had just discovered something.

  
"Is this a joke?"

  
Jesse had to choose: fight or flight.

  
"Jesse?" Hanzo looked at him with more curiosity than contempt.

  
Fight or-

  
Hanzo lifted up his wrist and looked at his watch. "Well, It appears I have to leave now. I will see you around".

  
Flight.

  
"I'll see you then too, Hanzo". Jesse waves as Hanzo starts walking.

  
Good fucking lord, cowboy.

  
\--

  
Jesse and Hanzo were now apartment neighbors. Hanzo had moved in around 3 weeks ago and the two ran into each other on a rainy Tuesday afternoon. Hanzo was using the elevator to bring his things up from a blue economy car in the parking garage. Jesse remembers now.

  
Hanzo was wearing a blue, long-sleeved t-shirt and his hair was tied up in a bun with a white hair tie. Jesse could see the outline of the man's biceps through his sleeves. Jesse was dumping some trash in the hallway when he saw the man trying to open the door with two boxes stacked in his arms.

  
He kind of stood there and looked at him, seeing him carry the boxes and then try and balance them again but this time with an arm and a knee while he dug through his pocket for the apartment key. Cute.

  
"Let me help ya out there", he had said.

  
Hanzo was caught off guard by the show of hospitality, but was thankful none-the-less. Jesse walked in to Hanzo's apartment and placed the boxes on the wood floor of the living room. Jesse was eager to get him talking.

  
"What's yer name?"

  
"Hanzo Shimada".

  
"Well, nice to meet ya. I'm Jesse McCree".

  
Hanzo was new to the area--he was in the middle of moving from his old home which was about an hour away. Originally, he had been transferred from his job and was moved overseas. After a while, he was transferred again and wound up in this part of the city. Getting a new apartment would mean he would need to travel less. Hanzo tried to end the conversation by talking about the numerous amount of trips he had to make today with his small car. It would be imprudent to speak the afternoon away with a stranger. Jesse offered the use of his truck and himself. Hanzo didn't want to accept help from a stranger but accepted anyways, knowing the entire process would be sped up. They set off in their respective vehicles, and moving was done by dinner time.

  
They said goodbye, Hanzo's apartment now filled with moving boxes and furniture. There was nothing left to do for Hanzo other than dismiss his help and arrange all of his belongings.

  
"Wait."

  
Hanzo couldn't let it end like this though, a debt unpaid. What would his brother say about his honor if he found out he had received assistance from a stranger without properly thanking them?

  
The man's voice rang in Jesse ear. He looked over, hand on the doorknob to his respective apartment.

  
"Would you like to stay over for dinner?", Hanzo had asked.

  
Well, howdy. It's not every day Jesse gets to be with such a looker all day let alone being asked to stay. He couldn't though. It was a good opportunity to finally eat a home cooked meal assuming Hanzo knew how to cook. He couldn't help but play it modest, though.

  
"It's no problem, partner. Didn't help ya out for any type of reward".

  
"Partner?" Hanzo looked confused--eyebrows knitted and teeth slightly clenched.

  
Jesse looked back. "Ah, you know, like, pal or friend. Partner".

  
"I've never heard 'partner' used in that manner before. I know it can be used to refer to a couple or a pair of some sort, whether work related or not. For example, two individuals working on the same project can be referred to as partners. Interesting". Hanzo made a mental note of the term. "Are you from Texas? Your speech sort of reminds me of how a cowboy"--

  
"I'm not from Texas, partner. And I suppose it's understandable if you have never heard it used. I am a cowboy though, and am from the South".

  
"You're joking". Hanzo suggested it but he didn't actually think Jesse could be a real cowboy. Why would a cowboy be living the the middle of a city? Hanzo's never met one before and he believes he certainly wouldn't meet up with one here.

  
Jesse can't help but smile. "Would someone that wasn't a cowboy own one of these puppies?"

  
He disappeared for a second and came back with a cowboy hat on. "How do I look?"

  
Hanzo was astonished to say the least. "Like a cowboy?"

  
Jesse started laughing, a deep laugh that he hasn't used in quite a while. It was so funny to him. People will usually assume some things about him, but they never specifically pin him as a cowboy.

  
Hanzo's face reddened. Why was this man laughing? Did he just insult someone that he was attempting to please? Were they going to be on bad terms because of his careless behavior? Why would he act in such a manner--letting the excitement get to him. Impudence. Impudence. Impudence. Hanzo couldn't believe himself.

  
"It's not trouble there. I'll see you then".

  
Hanzo wouldn't let him escape like this, though ashamed of his actions. "I insist we share a meal. I don't enjoy being in debt to others like this, especially strangers. You helped me today". Hanzo meant every word. It was one thing to receive help from someone for a trifling matter but another to receive help for multiple hours and he knew it.

  
The cowboy's smile went from bold to sheepish mighty quick.

  
"Alrighty, then".

  
There wasn't a reason in the world would Jesse McCree turn down a dinner date invitation, let alone one from such a beaut.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo tries to entertain his guest, Jesse passes out in his friends' lawn (again), and Fareeha Amari pin points where she's heard of the name "Hanzo Shimada".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to u by domestic lesbians. more info about this specific modern! AU and the Shimada family business. comments/suggestions appreciated :^)!

Jesse spotted one of the birch chairs he brought up minutes ago and set it close to one of the kitchen counters before taking a seat. All of Hanzo's belongings were scattered around the apartment--the living room having the highest concentration of items.

  
"Have you had ton-jiru or unadon before?" Hanzo asked as he took the lid off a Tupperware container.

  
Jesse was in for a ride if he didn't know what to make of either of those. He exhaled.

  
"I reckon I haven't".

  
He folded his arms on the counter and watched as Hanzo tied an apron around his waist. The man got out two stainless steel pots, aluminum foil, a vacuum sealed pack of something that resembled fish, soy sauce... sake? Wasn't that alcohol?

  
"Mind if I ask what exactly you're making there?" Jesse asked.

  
Hanzo paused before he turned on the burner and turned to Jesse.

  
"Do you have any dietary restrictions?"

  
They made eye contact. Hanzo realized something that might have just ended it all. He may have just been that close to poisoning his guest.

  
"Don't worry 'bout it, there. I'm not allergic to anything at all". Jesse took another glance at the bottle of sake. "We're drinking alcohol?"

  
Ah.

  
Hanzo looked down. So that was it.

  
"Technically we are, but all of the alcohol will dissipate when I boil it. I will also not be using much sake that much to make the sauce for the eel". Jesse took a guess and figured that was the red thing that was vacuum sealed. Hanzo continued. "I am also going to use mirin. Mirin also contains alcohol as it is cooking wine, but the alcohol will also disappear as I bring it to a boil".

  
Using alcohol to make something that won't taste like alcohol? A little disappointing. Jesse continued to gaze into his eyes.

  
"Oh. Sorry for not fully answering your previous question. Ton-jiru is pork soup and unadon is, as you can guess, an eel rice bowl". Hanzo sighed. "I hope this is enough. If you would like more, I can make a trip to the convenience store. I apologize for offering to make a meal and not being in a position to make more than two dishes".

  
Jesse wondered what Hanzo was worrying about everything. "It sounds like more than enough. Do you usually make more or somethin'?"

  
Hanzo's ears went pink.

  
"I am most likely nervous and I would like to apologize for so much of my unnecessary banter. Everything will be cooked in about 15 minutes".

  
Having a guest worry about their host was not proper, Hanzo noted. He returned to his ingredients.

\--

"Angela, you don't understand a thing! He just. I think he's cute, y'know".

  
Dr. Angela "No Mercy" Ziegler snatched the near-empty bottle of brandy from Jesse's hand.

  
"I know and do you want to know why I know?"

  
Jesse shook his head yes.

  
"You came here 2 hours ago with this bottle to 'commemorate our time as friends', drank almost all of yourself, and have only talked about this 'Hanzo' of yours for the entire time you've been in my house. Get out before Hana comes home and I have you explain yourself to my child".

  
Jesse got up, as reluctant as he was, and picked his hat off the floor. "Thank ya for lettin' me stay for so long", he said with a drawl. His apartment was about 2 blocks away, and he figured he could make it there without help. "Goodbye. I'll get home in a flash, Doc".

  
"Call if you need help, Jesse", Angela said as she locked the door, doubtful of his ability to get home safely.

  
He made his way to the porch stairs before wiping out into the lawn grass, dead to the world. Solid. Angela's wife, Fareeha Amari, brought him inside 20 minutes later.  
"Angela, why was McCree on our front lawn again?" she said as he hauled his lifeless body through the door.

  
"Fareeha, you're home early!" Angela ran over and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. She looked at the bump on Jesse's forehead and thought, hey, looks like she couldn't trust this son of a gun with anything. "He came in earlier and started talking about how romantically appealing he finds his new neighbor, Hanzo Shimada".

  
Jesse muttered in his sleep. "A true sweetheart", he said, half unconscious.

  
Mercy assessed the situation. "He must have fallen down the steps. Can you place him on the couch for me while I get a blanket out?" Mercy asked.  
Fareeha gave her wife a peck on the cheek. "Just a moment".

  
After dropping McCree’s drunk ass on one of the couches, Fareeha came back to the dining room and found the near-empty bottle of brandy. "Is this what you two were having?"

  
Mercy's sneer could be heard from across the hall. "He drank all of it himself. Can you put it away and bring me the second medium-sized emergency kit? The one with the star.”

  
She put the brandy in one of the cabinets and met up with Angela in the living room. Jesse was damn lucky Fareeha had such a talented wife.  
"You say his neighbor was Hanzo Shimada?"

  
Mercy answered without turning away from her emergency kit. "Yes, I did. Do you know him, perchance? Jesse wouldn't stop talking about his piercing gaze and the concentration of gray hairs he has around his sideburns".

  
Fareeha put one of her hands on her mouth. Hanzo Shimada... Hanzo Shimada… Oh?

  
"Didn't I meet him on a business trip? Do you recall if McCree mentioned anything about a tattoo spanning the man's left arm?" Fareeha isn't sure she exactly remembers where she heard the name before, but it sounded familiar.

  
"I remember you taking one to Hanamura around 2 years ago, but I don't remember you mentioning him specifically". Angela closed the kit she had. "All patched up".  
Fareeha remembers when she went to visit Hanamura with a couple of coworkers for a job-related task. She remembers now. She and her coworkers were there for two entire month helping the Shimada Company, LLS set up a branch overseas. The Shimada Company, LSS was, at the time, one of the leading translation companies in the East Asian region. Her personal task was to design a schematic for building security, including a process for hiring guards and the methods that should be used for surveillance and patrol duty.

  
Hanzo Shimada was a business representative in the team sent from the Shimada Company, LLS to help relay information to the company leaders and keep the vision of the branch expansion in tact throughout the project. Hanzo was partnered with a green haired individual that went by the same surname, Genji. Genji and Hanzo were essentially a good-cop and bad-cop duo, Genji keeping the branch expansion team employees happy with incentives and encouragement while Hanzo enforced deadlines and notified them of cuts. She remembers it all now. On the day before the opening of the new branch, all of the involved employees went out for drinks. Genji organized the party involving food, drinks and karaoke. Hanzo attended to congratulate division leaders and specific employees of their good efforts throughout the grueling project. Fareeh caught a glimpse of Hanzo's tattoo when he took his blazer off and rolled up his sleeves to drink some wine alone at the end of the bar near the end of the night.

  
That Shimada. She didn't think it would be a name she's hear again. What in the world as that Shimada doing here, of all places?

  
By the time she finished reminiscing, Jesse was sober enough to wake up and Hana was walking through the door. The cowboy yawned and jolted up, realizing he wasn't in his own house.

  
"Gosh darn, where am I?” He looked over. “Fareeha, again? A pleasure".

  
Fareeha snickered. "Cowboy, why make so much trouble for my beautiful wife?"

  
A small and cruel world out there if McCree had developed a crush on a man that was probably expected to have heirs for the sake of continuing the family business.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fareeha challenges Hanzo to mini-golf. Hanzo struggles to justify himself and criticizes himself for ostracizing Genji from the Shimada business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! a bit of a longer chapter this time. we have hanzo googling strange items, pharah showing up again (yeehaw)! and hanzo realizing how his views can ruin his relationships with other people. sort of serious towards the end. in other news, the tense gets kind of strange in some parts and if u have suggestions/comments id love to hear them! thank u guys and sorry for the cliffhanger!

Hanzo whipped out his smart phone. "Siri, define sweet pea".

 

   sweet pea  
   noun  
   a climbing plant of the pea family, widely cultivated for its colorful fragrant flowers.

 

If this was some type of euphemism for something, Hanzo didn't get it.

  
Jesse hasn't contacted him in a few days, which, all else considered, was strange. Hanzo couldn't pinpoint anything that could cause Jesse to not contact him for so long. He could be holed up at his job due to a project or could just not be in the mood for company. Neither of those seemed to be a viable answer, however. Hanzo shoved his phone back into his pocket. He replayed the moment before they parted last.

  
"You've got a beautiful set of eyes there, sweet pea".

  
He understood it was pick up line, noted by "beautiful set of eyes" and the way Jesse had given him a suggestive smirk. The term "sweet pea" was probably a pet name in this instance. It would make sense if it had a pretty flower when it bloomed, but he digressed. Still, Hanzo didn't understand. Was Jesse McCree, the person he's had such a good time with for the past couple of weeks, admitting some sort of attraction towards him? Was he gay? Hanzo had dismissed it as a joke and had run despite not having anything urgent that needed his attention.

  
Could cowboys be gay?

  
He took his phone out of his pocket. "Siri--" He turned the screen off and pushed it back into his pocket.

  
It had to be a joke.

  
Jesse was one of the few people Hanzo had started getting to know since moving. He was an easily accessible person. They were steps away from each other when they were both home. They had shared a meal at least thrice in the past week alone. Jesse was fun to be with despite his quarters being messy a good portion of the time. They could tell each other stories and--he didn’t know--just talk. Hanzo had also gotten to know some of his coworkers from his new job, but he wasn't as close to any of them as he was to Jesse. Some of them were quite the card.

  
One of the office interns, Lena Oxton, would perform a large amount (all of them) of the run-and-drop-off-these-documents tasks along with her main job. She came to work in a dress shirt and running shorts every morning. Hanzo would call it unprofessional, but she excelled at helping the division make timelines and set goals. She could predict how much they could complete in a certain amount of time and grew to understand how to best employ her coworkers' strengths. She was an asset and Hanzo would be sad to see her go. She also ran from office to office for 40% of the time she was on the clock, and Hanzo didn't want to impede her from performing the best she could.

  
Hanzo was going to start the day with a meeting with other division leaders and the ALAM Corp. vice-president. These meetings were held once a month on the first Monday. This was the first large meeting Hanzo would be attending at his new job since quitting the Shimada Company, LLS. He had arrived to the meeting room 40 minutes early.  
There were several reasons he had quit his job--first and foremost was guilt. Second was his selfishness.

  
The door creaked open as someone walked through the door. She stopped in her tracks and spotted Hanzo across the room.

  
Hanzo looked at the woman, trying to put a name to a face he recalls. "Fareeha Amari, a pleasure," he managed. It was Fareeha, correct? Early.

  
"Hanzo Shimada, likewise," Fareeha replied. Her surprise could be ascribed to finding someone else in the meeting room so soon, as well as it being none other than the man she was just thinking about. She took a seat next to him and put down her suitcase. "I heard you were around this area now but didn't half expect I'd see you in the office".  
Hanzo was taken aback. "You heard I was in the area?" Hanzo was puzzled. Where had Fareeha heard he had switched jobs? He'd been here for a few weeks. News travelled fast. Hanzo thought of news of the fallout he had with his brother being leaked to the public. No, no, no. It wasn’t possible. He had taken care to keep the situation contained.  
Fareeha grinned. "Your neighbor McCree came over to my household the other day and would not stop talking about you?" She saw the fear in his eyes. How did Jesse know Ms. Amari? She was not an easy woman to meet casually. Had she purposefully met up with him?

  
"Only positive about his new friend, I assure you,” Fareeha continued. Relief.

  
Fareeha wanted to ask why he was here, exactly who he was working for, what his goals were concerning McCree, but asked none.

  
"Say, to commemorate our reunion, would you like to go out for a drink?" She knew if she got Hanzo intoxicated, she could probe for more information. She also knew Hanzo was not the type to drink. The attempt was there anyways. They had worked together well a time ago. They had not exactly become quick friends, but she baited anyways, banking on their previous acquaintance.

  
"No thank you, but I appreciate the offer. I am trying to cut drinking out of my lifestyle,” Hanzo replied, promptly.

  
Well, Plan B. "How about I invite you over for dinner tonight? We could go out or you could follow me home and meet my family. Now that we don't work on the same project or sector, I hope, we could become outside-of-work friends". Fareeha was too curious about the ordeal to let it go. Just what exactly was going on between Hanzo, a strict and austere man, and McCree, the social butterfly. Fareeha agreed, inviting him to meet her family sounded like she was pushing it. However, target set, she’d fish until she got what she wanted.

  
Hanzo tried his best to be polite. "A tempting offer I assure you. I, however, am otherwise occupied this evening. Could we reschedule?" Hanzo had scheduled Find Out Why Jesse Won't Contact Me Hour tonight, and believed it prudent to get it squared away before he tackled anything else in his social life. He felt flattered that someone wanted to be his friend. Though Ms. Amari was yet to be so, he was open to the idea.

  
Fareeha didn't let go just yet. "No, no, I understand. I am just not otherwise sure when I can spare you the time". She tousled her bangs, trying to think of a solution. Ah. "How about I invite you to a round of mini-golf this weekend? I was going to go with my wife and child. You can tag along, I'm sure. They’d be excited to meet you”.  
Hanzo did not feel like he could turn this down and felt that a weekend trip could be just what he needed to keep his socialization skills up to par. "Sounds like it would be a splendid time. Could you send me an email to my personal with the details?"

  
Fareeha smirked. Victory for Fareeha. "Of course. Could you input your contact information on my phone?"

  
"Of course".

  
He filled out the form and pressed save.

  
Did she say wife?

  
\--

  
Hanzo was going to mini-golf with his colleague, her wife, and her child this weekend. Hanzo was going to mini-golf with his old colleague, her wife, and her child this weekend. Hanzo was going to--

  
Google how two women could have a child.

  
He pressed the enter button on his phone and found an article.

 

   There are a number of possibilities as to how two cis women can end up with a child. Here are a few:  
   a) Adoptive means,  
   b) Artificial insemination,

 

He turned the screen off. It didn't matter, did it?

  
To hell with himself.

  
It was as simple. He knew not every women exclusively chose men or chose men at all. He knew that not every man exclusively chose women or chose women at all. He knew, bottom line, not everyone was straight. He just didn’t think he’d ever encounter anyone that wasn’t, somehow.

  
He felt disgusting. He felt embarrassed. Who was he to judge? Ms. Amari.

  
She had strong work ethic. She continued to be punctual. She knew how to lead. She knew how to take care of those under her wing. She was intelligent and knew how to handle tricky situations. She had a wife.

  
Having a wife--meant Ms. Amari had come to love someone dearly. Having a wife did not change how hard Hanzo saw her work those two months they worked together years ago. Having a wife did not change the hospitality Ms. Amari had shown him.

  
Hanzo paced to the hallway and back to his bedroom.

  
He didn’t know.

  
He had been expected to a) inherit the company and b) successfully propagate to ensure the longevity of the business. He couldn’t do part a anymore. He could always have a child. A child like Ms. Amari has.

  
He continued to pace.

  
His face flushed red. How would Ms. Amari feel if she found out he couldn’t help but dislike her for having a wife? He couldn’t help but hate her. He felt awful. Sinful, even, for letting such an irrational instinct take over. The feeling from the base of his gut was baseless. There was not a single problem with Ms. Amari as a person. There was no real reason Hanzo should feel the contempt he did, but he did and felt disgusting for it. Hanzo thought.

  
It’s like that.

  
Children hold the key to the future. Better yet, they are the future. They grow, blossom, and turn into leaders. They advocate for change and revolutionize old models of thinking. They are essential to societal growth. They are societal growth.

  
If Ms. Amari was a good leader, and her child was surely to be one too, did it matter Ms. Amari had a wife? There was no question Ms. Amari would be a good parent if her solid morals and leadership skills were of any consequence.

  
He couldn’t do it. He shed a tear. Who was he to judge?

  
He paced some more.

  
It was happening again. He was judging someone he had no power to judge. He was condemning someone he had no power to condemn. It was just like what happened between him and his brother. Genji. He remembered the day he dyed his hair green. More tears came out of his eyes. Their relationship had been on thin ice. Really thin ice. Their father had just died. There was pressure put on Hanzo to get Genji serious about his job. Genji, along with Hanzo, had been working medium-leveled company positions. Hanzo, being the oldest, had been pulled from his job and had been made the CEO. Genji, not having anyone to keep him on track, struggled to keep his sector alive. Hanzo, pressured to make a decision, threatened to break off all family ties with Genji if he didn’t fix himself up. It was the most unnecessary and impulsive thing Hanzo had every done. Genji quit. Hanzo had caused Genji to leave. The worst part about it was he didn’t notice until a week after Genji had left office. He had been so busy. So many papers. So many meetings about getting his new position. So much drama concerning holding a funeral for his father and carrying out the will.

  
He couldn’t do it. He became too emotionally unstable to work.

  
“Okubyōmono”.

  
Coward.

  
A coward as he was, he resigned from the position and turned the company over to next in command.

  
He moved out of the principle Shimada residence and came here in search of his brother, the trail warm. He had yet to find him, but he was sure he was in the right place. There was hope for them yet, and Hanzo couldn’t forget that.

  
He dried his tears on his sleeve as the doorbell rang. What?

  
The intercom went off moments later.

  
“Hanzo, it’s Jesse. I need to talk to ya”.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo is too tired let his ego get hold of him. Jesse takes the opportunity to get in close. Dr. "No Mercy" Ziegler calls with news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of mushy so get it while it's hot. we'll see some more development soon so stick around! the song halfway down is "Fish" by Craig Campbell and well let me tell u it was either that or the one that goes she thinks my tractor's sexy and i just couldn't do it so it's fish time. sorry for not mentioning this earlier, i have to look up quite a bit of stuff for hanzo. if anything ever seems off please tell me. thanks everyone for the wonderful comments! stay fresh

Hanzo made his way to the bathroom as fast as he could and looked into the mirror. His eyes were red from so much crying. He couldn’t come out like this.

  
He went to the living room and pressed the com button. As much as he’d like to pretend he wasn’t there, it wouldn’t be fair.

  
“Jesse, I am not currently disposed to let you in”. Fuck, Hanzo. Way to go.

  
Jesse feared that Hanzo wouldn’t want to see him. “Hanzo, this is mighty important and I understand if ya don’t want to see me right now but I’d rather talk to you inside than in the hallway where the rest of the floor can hear us”.

  
Jesse had no excuses for avoiding Hanzo the last few days. He could have played it off like nothing happened, like it had just been a joke. The opportunity surfaced. But something in him wanted to be honest to hell about his hurt feelings. He told himself that if he kept it cool for a few days maybe his heart would blow over the entire thing and move on. And he hid. The thing he didn’t count on was missing Hanzo’s voice so much. It was utter nonsense. First, following his gut and avoiding the man and secondly, not being able to follow through with his own plan. It was like he was a teenager again, making shit choices and all.

  
Hanzo could only surmise how much he had hurt Jesse. Jesse looked like he could take a punch and get back up, but he also had avoided him for the past few days. Hanzo threw back to their conversation again.

 

"You've got a beautiful set of eyes there, sweet pea".

  
What would Jesse say know that they were puffy and sore?

  
Reluctantly, Hanzo walked all the way to the door and gripped the doorknob.

  
“Jesse, are you sure you want to come in?” Hanzo felt ridiculous. He wanted to wash his face and go to sleep. As exhausted as he was, the day wasn’t over quite yet. He didn’t want to let him in. He couldn’t.

  
“It’s not too serious ya know, but I’d prefer to keep this between us and not between us and the rest of our neighbors”.

  
Jesse didn’t sound like he would leave if he asked. There wasn't really any use. Hanzo unlocked the door.

  
“Hanzo!” They made eye contact. “Y’look like you were just ran over like a deer on the highway”.

  
The cowboy shut the door behind him and took a better look at Hanzo’s face. “Are you alright, partner?" He paused. "‘Course you’re not. What’s happening?”

  
Jesse tried to console him by placing a hand on his shoulder, only to find it slapped away. Just exactly what was Hanzo upset about? Him? Probably.

  
Jesse lowered his head and rubbed the hairs on the back of his neck. “Gee, Hanzo. I know you’re upset with me, but if you didn’t want to see me this bad then you should have just said so”. He was desperate to play it cool. He didn’t want Hanzo to know how bothered he was.

  
Silence ensued. Jesse swore he could hear the sweat running down his palms. He was getting awful nervous. As much as he liked to be upfront what he was thinking, it scared the ghost right out of him half the time to actually say anything.

  
With a sigh, Jesse looked back up. There was no need to push anything if Hanzo didn’t want to see him. “I can leave if you’re not up for this”.

  
“.....not upset with you”. Hanzo’s eyebrows scrunched as he looked away. “I’m not upset with you. I’m not--” his voice cracked. If he wasn’t embarrassed enough as is. If only he hadn’t spent the last 40 minutes of his life upset over his vices. He could feel the heat rise up from his neck and to the back of his eyes again. He was about to cry, again.

  
He felt vulnerable. He felt weak, like a twig between a pair of hands. He--

  
“Hold up there, partner”.

  
Jesse put his hat on Hanzo’s head and pulled him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around the Hanzo’s back and rested his chin on the top of Hanzo’s head. Hanzo could smell the laundry detergent off Jesse shirt.

  
Hanzo closed his eyes and tried to relax.

  
“It’s gonna be ok”.

  
Hanzo felt like hell, but he kept his eyes close. It was hot. Jesse’s body was so hot. But he stood there anyways. It felt nice, like the sun’s rays reaching him on a bright afternoon or like being under a warm blanket. Hanzo moved his arms and hugged Jesse. He felt the muscle underneath Jesse’s cotton t-shirt. Jesse’s heartbeat reminded him of all the times he played Ken-ken-pa as a child in his backyard. Those days were long gone. Hanzo was almost surprised he still remembered his feet on the pavement. Ken-ken-pa. Ken-ken-pa. Ken-pa. Ken-pa. Ken-pa. Pa. Pa. Pa. Jesse’s heartbeat was getting faster. Hanzo could feel and hear the pulse, his ear resting on Jesse’s chest. Was he getting nervous?

  
Hanzo didn’t want to move. It didn’t matter. He continued to smell the laundry detergent.

  
...

  
“Jesse,” Hanzo finally said. “You can let me go”.

  
Jesse took his hands off and took a step back. Hanzo hair smelled like pomegranate. He must have washed it recently. That might have explain why it was soft, of all things--it had been so soft under his chin, where his stubble didn’t get in the way.

  
“Glad to see you’ve perked up a bit”.

  
“Like a flower?” Ah. “The sweet pea one?”

  
Jesse tried to hide his smirk with his hand. He seemed better.

  
Hanzo wiped the remaining moisture off his eyes. He definitely felt better. But enough was enough. Time to jump from one thing to the next. It was business time in the Hanzo Shimada residence.

  
“To be direct, Jesse McCree, just how far does your affection for me go? You like me, correct? Romantically?"

  
Jesse couldn’t believe his ears. He would of dropped his shovel it if had been in his hands.

  
“How much I like ya?”

  
Hanzo apprehended his target by staring bullets in his head.

  
“That’s what I said. If you’d prefer to submit a statement, you could. No word limit. You could slip it in my mail slot”.

  
He looked serious about this. Jesse was in trouble.

  
Shucks! Weeks of building up his collected cowboy persona came crashing down on him. It was one of the few moments in his life Jesse was at loss for words. He realized how intensely Hanzo stared at him. Jesse felt self-conscious. He felt himself go red, like a ripe cherry tomato. He was at a loss for words. Hanzo was serious about this.  
He felt it--he knew he only had moments to respond before the entire thing became awkward. It was happening again. Fight or flight.

 

Flight?

  
Jesse wouldn’t hesitate this time.

  
He took a step forward. He placed his hand on Hanzo’s left cheek and gave him a peck on the right.

  
Fight.

  
\--

“Fish--[he] wants to do it all the time. Early in the morning, in the middle of the night!"

  
Jesse sang into the wooden spoon he had in his hands.

  
"[He's] hooked now and [he] can't get enough!"

  
Jesse’s hair was dripping wet from the shower he just took. Progress was progress, and he was so hungry for it he'd eat up the scraps thrown at him. Hanzo had pushed him out the door after muttering an ok.

  
Well, for starters, it was something. He’d take it. Sure as hell, he’d take it.

  
“Man that [boy] sure likes to fish!”

  
He couldn’t help but grin, thinking about how there was hope yet. If he hadn’t slipped up, they wouldn’t have developed this far, whatever “they” were. Jesse banked on the fact that he probably would have fucked up some time or other. Him and his big mouth. If it wasn't years of solo farm labor that taught him to keep it quiet. He always got soft during the winter he spent in the city, making preparations for next year’s crop cycle. He felt so good he turned on the radio to his favorite station and started jamming along to the first thing he heard.

  
“Yeah, I know [he] loves to fish!”

  
He imagined himself dancing with Hanzo to the outro.

  
“Psst, you awake? Let’s go fish”.

  
He looked at the clock. 8PM. If nothing was going to happen for the rest of the evening, he might was well sleep early. He was glad. He didn’t believe he could take anything else happening.

  
Jesse jumped when his cellphone went off.

  
"Call from: Angela Ziegler".

  
He read it again. Had his cell finally broken?

  
"Call from: Angela Ziegler".

  
There is no way Angela would ever disrupt her evening to call him so late. Either someone had died or Angela was angry at him for something. She could be calling about how he passed out in her lawn a few days ago or how he had wasted her entire afternoon talking about Hanzo.

  
He didn’t think of it possible, though. Angela, of all people, had never called him past 5PM after. There was no viable reason as to why she’d start now. He picked up, not knowing quite what to expect. Angela's voice boomed through the speaker.

  
"Tell me you’re coming this weekend! Right now, Jesse McCree". Her tone of voice indicated that if he didn’t answer all of her questions correctly, he’d be a dead man. The Doc could be one scary woman.

  
"What seems to be the problem, Angela? I confirmed I was coming last week". Jesse couldn't help but be concerned. He heard Angela take a breath.

  
"Fareeha invited Hanzo to the annual mini-golf trip. Double confirm you’re coming right now".

  
No fucking way. How had Fareeha come into contact with Hanzo? And Why?

  
Angela continued. "Fareeha caught him at work. Apparently Hanzo is the new division leader in the Marketing branch her company hired weeks ago. She says he’s been making quite the bit of progress. But, hear this, she saw him in a meeting today and took the opportunity to invite him".

  
Fareeha heard Angela speaking from across the hall. "Don't tell him I invited Hanzo for his sake,” she projected from her seat.

  
Angela heard it clear, but said the following anyways: “She says she invited him over for your sake but doesn’t want to admit it”.

  
Fareeha's grumble echoed.

  
Jesse was flustered. Fareeha was a true angel. "Y'all are the sweetest fellas I've ever met," he managed. They were looking out for him, honest to hell.

  
Fareeha walked over to where Angela was and asked her wife for the phone. "To help you out with your boyfriend, we'll probably ditch you after a course or two. Probably. I didn't say anything about this. Don't fuck up this opportunity up, McCree".

  
Angela gasped. "Fareeha Amari!” She gave Fareeha the Look. “Cursing in front of our baby?"

  
Jesse stood in place and heard their banter from the comfort of his home.

  
Hana called out. "Mom! I'm 19!"

  
Fareeha replied. "No, no, your mother's right".

  
Hana grunted. "Not you too, mom! For fuck's sake!"

  
Angela was taken by surprise. "Hana!"

  
Jesse thanked them once again and ended the call.

  
Angela, Fareeha, and Hana took an annual mini-golf trip. It was an indoor, glow-in-the-dark place, and Jesse had been invited for the first time last year. He remembers what Angela had told him.

  
“You’re like family to us. You should come along this time”.

  
Meeting Angela and her family had brought so much joy into his life, but he digressed. Glow-in-the-dark mini-golf. It was a 18 hole course Fareeha had absolutely destroyed him at last year. Hana followed and came in second by a few points. Angela and Jesse had almost tied for last, but Angela had made the last hole in 7 attempts instead of 8 like Jesse. Boy, did he and Angela suck at mini-golf like a thirsty goat on a faucet. It was a fun place to be. Reminded him of a childhood he didn’t get to have. Hana practically ran to the arcade after chugging the remainder of her green, sugar-filled “energy” drink.

  
“Game on!”

  
He laughed, thinking about it.

  
Shit.

  
What if Hanzo destroys his ass.

 

\--

  
Hanzo took out his phone again.

  
“Siri, how to deal with chafing from being kissed by someone with a beard”.

  
Siri beeped.

  
“Here’s what I found”.

  
He was going to rip the thing off Jesse's face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's mini-golf time and Hanzo Shimada learns the nature of the game from none other than mini-golf loser Jesse McCree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know about 0 golf so if anything sounds off, please feel free to lmk. fun time here in the battle pit today. a bit of a longer chapter too! thank u for all the wonderful hits, kudos, bookmarks and comments! all of you are the best  
> edit: edit made to bottom of chapter. see bottom note for more info

Hanzo sipped some of his tea. A man had kissed his cheek. His stubble had rubbed against his cheek and had caused the some of his skin to be scraped off. His father, and his brother, would be ashamed. Hanzo couldn't believe he had let it happen. Besides the fact that he had practically asked for it.  
It was shameful to say the least, that he had come into such intimate contact with someone that he's only known for a short time

. It was probably the first time in his life someone that he didn't consider family to kiss him on the cheek. Hanzo had done plenty of kissing in his life. Kisses on the hands or foreheads of women he briefly courted and kisses on his mother's face when he was young.

  
He didn't know. His interest in romance had died in his mid 20s when his father bombarded him with marriage candidate meetings. His father had made it clear as day he would be marrying for the sake of the company. Hanzo remembers how upset his father had become after Hanzo refused the extensive and detailed list he had been given to choose from. His father, reluctant to argue with his oldest son, started distancing himself. It's been almost 10 years since that time. Hanzo had been a foolish young adult. Something had told him that marriage was reserved for true love, something he was yet to experience and something he could yet explain.

  
If marrying young could have saved him from all the nonsense he was experiencing now, maybe he should have just done it.

  
Was he thinking of marrying Jesse? Maybe. His relationship with Jesse seemed to be all that he thought about in his free time now. Hanzo would reassure himself by saying it was only natural. He was unaccustomed to such displays of intimacy. There would be an excuse for it if they were married, but now? How debaucherous. Maybe once and awhile if they were dating. Maybe.

  
And marrying a man? Hanzo took another swing of his tea. He was sure he liked women. But he hadn't married one yet. Maybe he had yet to find the right one. How much did he enjoy romantically pursuing them? Hanzo finished up his cup.

  
Had he just dated so many because it felt compulsory?

  
Tsk.

  
He didn’t know.

  
\--

  
Jesse bumped his forehead on entry. His hat flew off his head and landed on the pavement. Hanzo, strapped into the driver's seat, looked over. Damn cowboy. Hanzo turned on the GPS in his car and started punching in the address. After the address being accepted as a valid destination, he leaned over to recline the passenger seat so Jesse could fit his entire body in the car.

  
"I realized your car was small, but I didn't realize it was this small". Jesse stepped in, being cautious about bumping himself again. He took his hat off and let it sit on his lap. There wasn't any space for it to go on his head in this vehicle. Jesse felt like a bug in a blanket after strapping the seat belt on. Not that he would complain about being in a compact space with Hanzo.

  
"Now routing to destination: Mantee Mini-Golf". Jesse swore his heart almost jumped right out of his chest.

  
"Your car talks?"

  
This little buggy of Hanzo's was tricked out if it came with a GPS already installed, for hell’s sake. He could only sit and wonder what other operations the car could perform. He didn't even notice the screen when he came in.

  
Hanzo heard the fear in his voice. "Your truck doesn't have a GPS?" All cars had GPS’, right?

  
Jesse couldn't believe his child was being mocked for not being able to talk and give directions. "There's no way in hell my sweet baby could ever".

  
Hanzo couldn't help but start laughing. It was instantaneous. The laugh coming out of his stomach. Ridiculous. Hanzo's car had quite a bit of features. Cameras for safety, bluetooth for calls, little lights that told him when he could or could not make a lane switch on his rearview mirrors. Had Jesse never seen a car without a GPS on the screen? Had Jesse never seen a car with a screen? Hanzo paused. He didn't put it past him. He figured that there were cars being sold at sometime before these features had all been put on the market. He had just gotten his driver's license and a car recently, after all. Just last year. He never even stop to think about it. Hanzo had enjoyed being driven around since an early age. He could only reflect on how being sheltered as a child had changed his perspective. If Jesse’s car was old, there’s no way it would have one.  
Jesse put his hand on Hanzo's shoulder for a moment.

  
"Not cute, partner". Just joking. Very cute, partner. Jesse wouldn't say it aloud, though. That laugh stirred him up good.

  
Hanzo calmed down but couldn't help but keep smile. He felt how pink his face must have been. Oh, Jesse. Him and Jesse.

  
"Have ya only known cars that can?" Jesse sounded sheepish.

  
Jesse wasn't one to know. He had certainly heard of cars that had more than the basic capabilities, but he'd yet to see one with his own two eyes. He felt out of the loop. His truck was turning 9 this year after all, the old vehicle. He must have looked like a genuine country fool. Updates came home on the farm for the larger equipment, like the sprinklers or harvest machines. Everything else--the plumbing, the shell of the buildings themselves--hadn't been modified since the day they were built. It's not like there was a need too, just like his truck. If it worked, it sure as hell didn't need to be changed. Jesse tried not to think about the extensive work done to his vehicle over the years to keep it running smooth as a whistle.

  
Hanzo looked at Jesse. "I had quite the sheltered childhood if I had yet to realize not all cars were made like mine. I must sound like quite the fool". Realizing faults was not always the most fun, but owning up to them was necessary. "Sorry".

  
Jesse smiled back. Hanzo was sure something. "If you're sorry then give me a kiss".

  
He saw the cheery expression Hanzo had turn to stone.

  
"Hanzo, I'm joking".

  
Hanzo almost said something but stopped himself. He tried again. "How much of a joke is this, and what aspect are you joking about?"

  
Hanzo recalled yesterday.

  
“Sort out now to avoid confusion later,” he thought.

  
The mechanical voice of the GPS filled the car. "System will turn off if no movement is made in the next 2 minutes".

  
Jesse realized that Hanzo was just trying to understand, was all, though that austere expression of his was something to be feared.

  
"The joke: kissing me as an apology". Jesse scratched his throat. "Not a joke: me wanting a kiss".

  
It felt too embarrassing to lay it out, plain as day. Jesse wanted to hide under his hat, but the damn thing wouldn’t with how crammed the space inside already was.  
Hanzo, appearing satisfied, started backing out of the parking space.

  
“Hm”.

  
\--

  
"Jesse!" Hana ran up to him and extended her arms for a hug.

  
"Well, howdy! Here comes a new challenger, huh?" Jesse lifted her up for a twirl. "How've ya been, munchkin?”

  
Fareeha and Angela soon followed, trying to track Hana's movements from around the corner.

  
"Fareeha, Angela! Hello there". Jesse set Hana down to wave and then lifted her up again for another round.

  
Fareeha and Angela waved back as they saw Jesse, Hana, and Hanzo near the entrance.

  
"Hello, Jesse! It's like we only saw each other a few days ago, huh?" Angela said, one hand wrapped around Fareeha's waist.

  
"Angela, no need to pester the man". Angela grinned and debated giving her wife a peck on the cheek. She let go so Fareeha could handshake their guest.  
Fareeha stepped forward and stuck her hand out. "Hanzo! How great of you to make it. This is Angela, my wife".

  
Hanzo shook Fareeha’s hand and looked over to greet Angela. "Hello, I am Hanzo Shimada and I work in the same company as your spouse”.

  
Angela stepped forward so she could handshake the man as well. "A pleasure, Hanzo. I'm Angela Ziegler. I've heard quite a bit about you".

  
Fareeha resumed introductions after Hanzo and Angela finished. "And this is my child, Hana".

  
Jesse put Hana down again.

  
Hana grinned and waved. "Hi! I'm Hana".

 

   There are a number of possibilities as to how two cis women can end up with a child. Here are a few:  
   a) Adoptive means,  
   b) Artificial insemination,

 

Hanzo recalled c.

 

   c) Child had externally of relationship,

 

Hanzo looked at Hana. There was no way, right?

  
“Nice to meet you Hana. I’m Hanzo Shimada. How old are you?” Hana looked pretty Korean.

  
“Turned 19 this year. How old are you?”

  
Hanzo chuckled. “I’m 38. Quite old, wouldn’t you say?”

  
“Well I’ll be an icy drink on a hot summer’s day”. The crowd turned to Jesse. “You’re a year old than me, Hanzo?”

  
If Jesse was 37, that means he would’ve had Hana when he was 36… 35… 18? Hana certainly didn’t looked mixed but who knew with Jesse. Hanzo couldn’t tell what sort of past he had. Could he have somehow, maybe, potentially, fathered a child at such a young age?

  
“Can ya believe it Angela? Hanzo’s older than me!” Jesse called out.

  
Angela smirked. “Almost anyone could pass as older than you, Jesse, with the way you act”.

  
Fareeha started laughing and gave Angela a slap on the back. “You’re a killer, Angela!”

  
Hanzo snapped out of it. He’d have to mull over it later. He looked around and saw fish spray-painted to the walls.

  
“Is there a reason why this establishment is called Manatee Mini-Golf?” he asked.

  
The crowd went silent. Hana looked like she had stars in her eyes. “Marsha the Manatee! The final boss! L.O.L..”

  
Laughter came from everyone except Hanzo. Was there some sort of joke he missed?

  
It took Fareeha a moment to realize how lost Hanzo looked. She began to explain. “Marsha the Manatee is the building’s mascot. She is also present at the last golf hole, hence why Hana enjoys calling her the final boss. It's all quote elaborate. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. She has a mermaid tail that swings from side to side that makes it very hard to--"

  
Angela shushed her from giving away any more information. "Why don't we go and rent the putters and a few balls so we can start playing?" Angela pointed towards the right."Everyone can follow me to the Rent Anemone".

  
Jesse and Hana gave each other a look. In the most coordinated fashion, Jesse began humming while Hana sang. "Manatee Anemone! Rent your items for a nominal fee!"  
And they were off to hole 1.

  
Hanzo felt the air conditioner on his skin as they entered the golf arena. He was glad he chose today of all days to wear a hoodie. There were neon lights everywhere. The area was also lit with lights of varying neon colors from the ceiling. It smelled faintly of rubber and sweat. The place was not too crowded, there being a group every so off, clustered together at a hole. The group followed Angela down the steps with red, LED lights outlining the way down. Hole 1 was corral themed. There was a corral bridge along a winding path. The path gradually began to elevate right before the golf hole. Hanzo broke out in a cold sweat. Hole 1 was probably the easiest hole they would encounter today. Jesse motioned for him to step closer. Hanzo stepped closer.

  
"You hold the club like this, but anything goes in mini-golf”. Jesse wrapped both hands around the putter.

  
Hanzo took notes. Right hand curled on the end of the putter with the index finger and thumb poking out a bit. Left hand curled on top of the right in the same manner--with the thumb and index out a bit. He attempted to imitate the grip. Hanzo wouldn't give up before the game started.

  
Fareeha stared at them. "Jesse, for someone that has a pretty good grip, you sure can't play for the world". Fareeha tilted the visor she had on. There was absolutely no need to be wearing a visor inside, let alone inside a building that was dimly lit. Jesse wasn’t one to talk. His cowboy hat was on.

  
Hana, catching wind the roasting happening live, turned to her mother. "Mom that's no way to speak to him". Jesse teared at the sight of Hana standing up for him. Hanzo looked up from the putter in his hands. "Even though we absolutely creamed him and mom last year. Nerf THIS, haha!"

  
It was fight time at Manatee Mini-Golf.

  
Hanzo grabbed Jesse's sleeve after hole 5. It caught Jesse by surprise, to say the least--Hanzo coming up to him.

  
"This is late, but can you explain how the point system works".

  
Angela had been dictating what numbers to write down on the card for the last half hour. Hanzo, trying to appear like he knew at least part of what was going on, wrote them down without questioning their significance.

  
"The goal of the game is to have the least number of points. Easy enough".

  
Hanzo looked at his score card.

  
"How much do you have, sugar pop?"

  
"12", Hanzo said, unfazed and monotone.

  
"Oh".

  
Was 12 a bad score? Hanzo saw Jesse twiddling with his own score card. "How many points do you have?"

  
Jesse tried to shy away. "Enough".

  
Hanzo scrunched his eyebrows. What was Jesse stalling for? "I won't judge. Even if it is as bad as you are making it out to be”.

  
Jesse looked at the yearning in Hanzo’s eyes couldn't do it. He couldn't hide. "29".

  
Angela, overhearing their discussion, turned around and gave Jesse a grave look. "Me too, cowboy".

  
Anguish consumed the trio.

  
Hana and Fareeha both had 6 points. Both had made 4 holes in one. Both had to shoot twice for a hole. They were competing to win. Players that showed evidence of completing a successful game under 23 points would receive a limited edition mermaid mini-golf Marsha toy. Both Fareeha and Hana didn’t make the cut last year, but this year for sure. They would win and take home their mini-golf trophies.

  
Hana slurped on her green energy drink she had procured somewhere between hole 2 and hole 3.

  
“Are you two having fun?” she asked earnestly.

  
Jesse and Hanzo looked over at the same time. Hana looked harmless with her bunny t-shirt and beige capris, but they knew to fear.  
“‘Course we are, Hana!” Jesse said.

  
“It’s like a wonderful dream!” Hanzo added.

  
Hana flashed them her grin reserved for winning online matches. “Aw, yeah!”

  
The fight continued.

  
Hole 16 came along and Hanzo felt odd. He could see the end in sight, 2 holes away. The light of the outside world glimmered along the cracks of the exit door. He positioned himself and got ready to putt to the hole. The ball would have to travel up the octopus’ tentacle, up the elevator, and drop into the hole. If he could make this shot, he could say he made a hole in 2 strokes. He could also say he shot a birdie in this case as the average for this specific hole was 3 strokes, also known as par 3. He felt the sweat on his palm sticking to the grip on the putter and repositioned his hands a bit. Hana, Fareeha, Angela, and Jesse awaited his move. All eyes were on him. He could do it. After a few rounds of hitting the golf ball clear off the bounds, he had finally been given a chance at redemption. He pulled back, the weight of the putter in his hands, and swung forward with care.

  
Clink.

  
The ball travelled up the tentacle and made it successfully into the elevator. The elevator began to raise the ball. His crowd oo’d. Up and up and up--until finally, the ball came down. It fell into the hole. Hanzo’s eyes went wide. The ball bounced straight out and back in, accepting its place in the ground.

  
Victory for Hanzo Shimada. His crowd cheered. Hanzo lifted his putter straight up and gave a out a “Yeah!” It tasted sweet, like spoonfuls of honey. Victory for Hanzo Shimada. Victory for Hanzo Shimada.

  
He stepped off of the synthetic grass and back to where his crowd was.

 

“You do me proud,” was all Jesse could muster.

  
He did Jesse McCree proud. The man had yet to make less than 5 attempts at a hole.

  
Angela was up next, and Hanzo gave her room to set up. Hanzo eyed the exit again. His time here was almost up, as sorry as he was to see it go. The game had been such fun so far, he had practically lost himself in it. Hanzo focused back to Angela. Her white shirt almost made it seem like she was glowing in the dark.

  
Green.

  
Hanzo looked back at the exit door and saw someone leaving.

  
Green.

  
They were in the middle of a group of 3. The light from the open door made it hard to distinguish them. But he saw the green on their head. The light green of his brother’s hair. Hanzo left the hole. His walk turned into a sprint as he tried to catch up with them.

  
Green.

  
Hanzo bumped into a group and apologized, but kept going, gradually gaining speed.

  
Green.

  
Hanzo ran through the door, forcing it open with an arm.

  
Green.

  
He stepped forward and looked around. The group of 3. Hanzo dashed straight out of the building.

  
Green.

  
He spotted them. The one in the middle, the kelp crown on their head.

  
Green. Not Genji.

  
An employee rushed out to Hanzo and told him that he couldn’t take rented material outside the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit made: 'not genji' added to penultimate line.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Beyoncé and arcade time here in Manatee Mini-Golf. Drama included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of the lines is inspired by this mchanzo comic i saw a while ago and i had a hard time tracking it down! it's the one where hanzo is in front of the spawn point and trash-talking genji while also proving he'd take v good care of his brother. if i find it ill update w/ a link. theres an article on pachimari in the overwatch wikia (no seasonal stuff it appears)  
> edit: link found courtesy of Hobo and has been added to end notes. thanks!

Jesse couldn’t help but pester Fareeha as they exited the mini-golf area. “When you said you’d ditch us, I didn’t think you’d ditch just him. Where did ya even leave him? I didn’t even notice with how dark it was in there”.

  
Fareeha kept walking. “I didn’t ditch him. He must have walked off on his own. I have 0 idea where he went, McCree. Why don’t you keep better track of him if you like him so much? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do with those you love, keep their whereabouts in mind at all times?”

  
“Big talk for someone that had to track Hana down after she ran to me this morning”.

  
No one noticed Hanzo left until it was his turn again in the next hole. The group, figuring that Hanzo would most likely return, continued playing to completion. Well, after finishing they stood around for 5 minutes inside the mini-golf area before an employee told them to leave. They were clueless regarding his location. None of them expected to see Hanzo slouched over in one of the bunks near the building entrance, coat already on. He was murmuring something into his cellphone.

  
“Hanzo!”

  
Hanzo slid his device into his pocket. He was on a bench next to the front door. Light from the outside shined through the glass and hit the right side of his body. He could feel the warmth on his face.

  
“What are ya doing all the way out here? We tried to wait for you inside after noticing you were gone”.

  
Hanzo tightened his hair tie and walked over. “I thought I saw someone, so I left to find them. I traveled past the main door and was told to come back inside. They also confiscated my putter”. Not the best move he’s made.

  
Angela flagged them to come over. They started walking back. “Did ya see Beyoncé or something? Must have been mighty important if ya left us without a word”.  
Hanzo smirked. “Not quite as decadent, but maybe as important”.

  
Jesse couldn’t make sense of it. “Lúcio Correia dos Santos? Here? At Manatee Mini-Golf?”

  
They made it to the return station. Hanzo gave them a curt bow. “My apologies for dashing out. I mistook someone for somebody else and ran out the door without a second thought”. Hanzo couldn’t believe he had interrupted the game. He would have gone back in but there was no re-entry allowed. He also felt like he was being watched after what appeared to be an attempted robbery. He wouldn’t try any more funny business.

  
Fareeha wrapped an arm around Angela. “Not a thing to worry about, Hanzo. I take it you had fun today?” She was all smiles.

  
Hanzo found the gesture endearing. “Very,” he said, and he meant every syllable. It was as fun as the days he spent out with Genji in the arcade near their home. Their favorite was the Pachimari claw machine. It was a cute turnip with leaves as arms--or so they thought. They might have just been green tentacles coming out of its bottom. He and Genji never really decided on what they were, but it didn’t matter. There would be special edition Pachimaris on holidays such as Halloween or Valentine’s Day. Genji had an entire shelf full of them when they were children. There was one he had re-obtain of because of one of Hanzo’s mistakes.

  
“Looks like it’s prize time here at Manatee Mini-Golf! Hey, hey! Hana: 1. Golf: 0.” Hana waved her card up for the group to see. 22 points. Right in the threshold for the mermaid Marsha.

  
“Wouldn’t it be Golf: 1? Remember our loss last time?” Fareeha sighed. She had managed to score 23 points. Again.

  
“Fareeha dear, don’t sass our child”. Angela chided her wife for her behavior.

  
“Sorry Angie”.

  
Hana dragged her mothers by the arm. “Moms, let’s go and get my reward! And then head to the arcade!”

  
Angela managed to wave before disappearing around the corner. “You two can meet us there. We’ll be over in a minute!”

  
Fareeha eyed Jesse over her shoulder. Jesse knew she would say “Don't fuck up this opportunity up, McCree,” if she could.

  
“Want me to take your coat? No use having it inside if we’re not leaving soon”. Jesse put a hand on the rim of his hat. Better loosen up those flower-picking, coat-taking hands of his.

  
“I can put it back in the rack myself”.

  
Denied.

  
Hanzo took his phone out of his coat to check the time. Jesse saw a little keychain dangle from the case before Hanzo left to store his coat in one of the cubbies.  
It looked like a sprout of some sort. It looked like it had a hat on. “Is that an onion, there?” Hanzo gave him a curious look.

  
“This?” Hanzo pointed to the bulb dangling from his phone.

  
“That’s right”.

  
“It’s the limited edition St. Patrick’s Day Pachimari”.

  
Jesse couldn’t put his finger on where he’d heard the word “Pachimari” before. Was it a food?

  
“Can I see it?”

  
Hanzo put his phone in Jesse’s hands. Jesse poked the keychain out of curiosity. Sure was plastic. It looked like it had green octopus tentacles coming out of it’s bottom. There was a green hat on it’s head with a 4 leaf clover.

  
“Is it some sort of animal?” Jesse’d be damned if it was. The little thing was smiling at him with a big ol’ mouth and beady eyes. It looked happy, to say the least.  
“It’s a turnip,” Hanzo said with a smirk. “The hat is covering the peak on it’s head”.

  
“Hm”. Jesse returned the phone to Hanzo, savoring the man’s current expression. But, anyhow, he’d definitely seen one of the critters before. “Where’d you get it?”  
Hanzo sounded embarrassed, like he was admitting to an offense. “I ordered this one online because I missed the release, but Pachimari keychains can be obtained at the vending machines that dispense capsuled toys. I’ve seen a few in super markets”.

  
That’s where.

  
Jesse grabbed his hand and let them straight into the arcade. The entrance was marked by a sign that had large, white letters that spelled out “Fun Zone”. They could hear pinging and rings coming from inside. There were small groups of people walking around and collecting prize tickets. The neon lights coming from the machines illuminated the area.

  
“What are you doing?”

  
“If I remember correctly, there was a machine here somewhere with those little buggers, just you wait”.

  
They kept walking. Hanzo could feel Jesse’s firm hand on his. There were calluses all over his palm and fingers. They walked past a machine that had a wheel with lights on the rim. Another had small fish bowls that glowed yellow and blue. Hanzo’s ears were filled with the sound of children laughing and others grieving using up the last of their tokens. There were popcorn kernels and little pieces of food wrapping scattered along the floor. Jesse continued walking in front of him.

  
“I don’t think they removed it. Hana lost her marbles over it last time, and I mean lost her marbles. She was so intent on feeding the thing tokens that she spilled an entire bag full. We spent a good remainder of the trip picking them up, but we lost a few anyways. I think she cashed her golf card in for the critters. A real shame. They were nice and pretty. Little glass marbles”.

  
They turned the corner. Hanzo kept eyeing all of the game machines around them. There was an 8-bit game about a green frog. Another that looked like an archery game. He took a mental note. Maybe he’d go back and play it. Hanzo started to sweat and could only hope Jesse wouldn’t notice. Couldn’t those around them see they were touching? Jesse maintained the grip on his hand. Holding hands in a public area. Indecent. It’s not like they were an item, either. Hanzo made another mental note. He was being dragged around by Jesse again.

  
“I think it’s around here”. Jesse looked like he didn’t know where to head anymore, but also looked like he didn’t want to give up just yet. They kept walking, but now in no specific direction.

  
There were a few basketball hoops in the corner followed by a machine that had a flashing magenta alien on the side. There was a row of tables that appeared to have hand-sized cylinders with handles coming out of the top. Air hockey. They paced a bit more before before Hanzo tried to wriggle his hand free. He could walk without Jesse holding on to him like this, wherever they were headed.

  
Jesse felt Hanzo squirming. “Don't fuck up this opportunity up, McCree”. Wouldn’t waste a second.

  
He turned around and raised Hanzo's hand to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on his palm. He’d sucker in some romance to the few minutes they had alone. Jesse smelled citrus and soap as he pressed against Hanzo's skin. He was glad his lips weren't as chapped today. Thank hell. Hanzo's palm was smooth, yet firm. Jesse felt the heat transfer from Hanzo's skin to his own. This hand could push him away and tug him close. It was over fast. Jesse let go, hoping to be pulled back.

  
"Brother?"

  
A voice introduced on the moment.

  
Hanzo's attention was no longer on Jesse.

  
The man was collected in voice and aghast in countenance. He looked like he wanted to ask many questions to which there may be no answers. Hanzo could only look back, trying to make sense of the encounter.

  
"Genji", was all he could say. It had been over an entire month.

  
Genji certainly looked like his brother. They shared a few features, like the shape of their cheeks or the size of their foreheads. But, hey. Genji’s hair was less green than it was before, but it might have just been the lighting. Hanzo wasn’t too sure what to make of it. Maybe the hair dye had started to wear off. Hanzo didn’t know much about hair dying, but he was certain that under all that green was blonde and hair dye eventually came off. Maybe it had all come off already and Genji re-dyed it. And that was coming off. Genji had a light gray sweat band over his forehead. Hanzo noticed how ugly he still dressed when he got the chance. It was almost like nothing had changed. He had on a red shirt with yellow sequin sleeves and a matching shirt pocket. Genji looked like a walking color wheel. He had on another gray sweatband on his left wrist.

  
Genji gave a curt smile. "How kind of you to recognize me, Hanzo". The man looked at Jesse. "Tell me, am I interrupting something?" The tension was cut. "A date perhaps?"  
Hanzo realized the implications of the current situation. His hand being kissed by a man in a public area. How much had Genji seen? Shameful. Shameful. At that moment, Hanzo Shimada wanted nothing more than to hide. His ears went red before he realized getting embarrassed would only make the situation worse, confirm his relationship with Jesse as something it was not. He pulled his hand out of Jesse's grasp and pulled it to his side.

  
"No, no, no," he wanted to say. "You're mistaken, Genji. He is not romantically associated with me”.

  
"Put 'er there!" Was this Hanzo’s Beyoncé? Jesse McCree extended his hand. It was happening so fast. "I'm Jesse McCree. Nice to meet ya". Jesse flashed his smile reserved for only the most important occasions. His teeth gleamed.

  
Genji gave Hanzo a playful eye before handshaking the cowboy. He chuckled.

  
Hanzo wanted to hide. Never in 100 years would he have predicted their reunion to be colored so. He debated running through the exit and driving home without a word.  
“No, no, no”. He wanted to say. “You’re mistaken, Genji. I am not romantically associated with this cowboy”.

  
"Are you alright, partner?"

  
"Ah, you allow him to call you pet names? Can I call you one too?"

  
Not a word came out of his mouth. Hanzo raised his hand up and motioned a halt.

  
Silence.

  
He would need time to come up with an answer. Hanzo motioned for all of them to have a seat on the floor. They all sat on the floor. He and Genji got into seiza position--proper sitting position, kneeling with their thighs placed over their calves and hands folded on their laps. Jesse got down and decided to kick it criss-cross applesauce style, but he figured he should sit straight up, so he tried not to slouch.

  
They sat on the hard carpet of the arcade. Hanzo closed his eyes and took a breath. Inhale. A video game machine went off behind them. Another winner. Hanzo could tell Genji that he and Jesse were not dating or otherwise involved, but at the cost of his honor. Romantic gestures were reserved for couples only. Romantic gestures were not made to be had outside of romantic relationships. Admitting he was not paired with Jesse would be setting a bad example for his sibling. Exhale. If he said he was romantically involved with Jesse, Jesse would question when they had progressed so far. He might also want to take it further, asking for his hand in marriage. The choice dawned on him. Hanzo'd be damned before being a worse brother to Genji than he's already been. Setting a bad example was not an option. Inhale. More ringing and bopping from the environment. Exhale. Hanzo opened his eyes and motioned to Jesse.

  
"This is my current lover, Jesse".

  
Jesse's heart beat a little fast and mouth flew straight open. Who, him? Jesse McCree? He readjusted his hat and tried to hide his surprise by covering his mouth with one of his hands. This was sure news to him. He was Hanzo's lover? Since when? When had this been decided on? He wanted to ask, but he decided on doing it later, in a more private setting. Questioning Hanzo right now probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but, really? Jesse couldn’t believe his ears. All he could do was give a low whistle, face half concealed under his hat.

  
Genji smiled, believing his brother had found a glimmer of happiness. Hanzo always seemed the type to keep to himself, but it appeared he had opened himself up to someone. "I am quite happy for you, if that is the case".

  
Hanzo tried to experience tranquility, for if he didn't he was sure his desire to flip Jesse over would betray him. Damn cowboy. Hanzo sure as hell wasn’t happy for himself.  
Hanzo tried to change the topic before Jesse could ruin the moment. “Genji, what brings you here to Manatee Mini-Golf?”  
Genji perked up. “I heard there was a Pachimari machine in the building and decided to come in. Just like home, huh? I found one on the other end of the arcade, and started to wander in case there were more”.

  
Jesse had led them in the opposite direction. Hanzo wasn’t surprised. “Why don’t we go visit this machine?”

  
Hanzo sighed. He was tired, but boy was he glad. He could only express relief over how Genji wasn’t mad at him. Hanzo could only think about how much he deserved a slap in the face or a punch in the stomach. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had done something unforgivable. There was no way he deserved redemption after failing his brother and then failing his family. His stomach began to churn as they kept walking, neon lights illuminating their faces. Genji took every step forward with confidence, like the always did. Hanzo knew how much more of a likeable person Genji was than him.

  
Hanzo thought about the project they had together concerning the overseas expansion. Genji had organized the completion party without help and spent the night socializing with the many, many employees involved. Hanzo himself congratulated those only whose work shone. Not much happened. After giving a handful of people congratulations, he had slinked to the back of the bar and started drinking a glass of red wine. Hanzo could make contacts, sure, but Genji could do so and make friends along the way, unlike himself. Genji smiled through the entire project, reassuring and providing relief for those that needed help. Hanzo had sat back and only intervened when there were larger problems to fix. He might have been a little jealous. What if Genji stole those around him and convinced them of his terrible nature? Hanzo would be rendered friendless. He tried not to think about it. Was that what Genji was attempting to do now? It would only be fair. He didn’t deserve redemption.

  
They stopped walking. The capsule toy dispenser was in front of them. It was snow-themed. All the little turnips came with a snowflake on their head and glitter on their tentacles.

  
“Hanzo, remember the day you lost the yellow Pachimari I had won through a claw machine?”

  
Hanzo met his brother’s gaze with his own.

  
“I forgive you, like I did then”.

  
He couldn’t accept. He couldn’t. He didn’t deserve a chance to redeem himself.

  
“I can’t accept your words for I do not deserve forgiveness”. Hanzo meant every syllable. He didn’t stop to think about what his brother had gone through to decide giving him was the best course of action.

  
Jesse McCree stood there and watch Hanzo start to close up like a clam. He was physically cloistering up. Hanzo lowered his head and crossed his arms like he was shielding himself from something. Jesse didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, but decided to intervene anyways.

  
“Sorry. I can tell there’s something going on between the two of you, and I don’t mean any harm, but Hanzo, you deserve whatever forgiveness Genji here is offering ya”. Jesse placed a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder. It gets slapped away.

“No, no, no,” Hanzo thought. “You’re mistaken, Genji”.

  
Hanzo walked out there, collected his coat, and drove home. Tranquility his ass. All he could feel was a storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: http://dolceael.tumblr.com/post/146340161349/dialogue-from-brooklyn-99-s2-e3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse has a dream. Jesse recalls the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sort of late update but here it is! the rest of the chapters should be updated closer together. none of the places i mention ever are real places! (honestly coming up w/ names is the most difficult part of this goddamn fic bc so many things are taken) comments much appreciated! i love reading all of them so much! thank u again for all the support

Jesse tossed in his sheets. He dreamed.

  
The sun was setting over the horizon. It was red. The sky along its border gleamed bright yellow. The clouds were purple and where the setting sun hit, orange. Another day was ending on the ranch. All the children that came by for riding lessons that afternoon were gone. All the horses were fed and stabled for the night. All that was left for McCree to make it home--exactly the place he wanted to be, too.

  
It had been quite the day. Working with children wasn’t anything Jesse would have imagined doing but here he was, giving full-time riding lessons. He wasn’t that great of an instructor and wasn’t the most talented of the bunch. He tried his best and didn’t let any of the tikes get hurt. He essentially would teach children around the age of 10 how to approach a pony and a bunch of other basics. Jesse would question why he was hired in the first place, but it was a nice job and he enjoyed his time there every day. He’d been a cowboy since young after all and there were some things about animals he just sensed. Putting his skills to use was invigorating. But Jesse had mother things to think about right now.

  
He could see the light shining through the living room window curtains off in the distance. He walked along in his knee high boots. They were covered in grass and mud from being outdoors since the crack of dawn. He couldn’t believe he was finally doing something simple with his life, day after day. It felt relaxing to know there would be stability in his life, just showing children the ropes and making sure the ponies don’t leave the fenced area. That is unless the entire thing came toppling down. But, anyhow.

  
Their house was a small thing. Jesse painted it over after Hanzo complained about the ugly, cracked paint that made the house look haunted. It was located near the main road that got busy on weekends. It was a good 15 minute walk from the stables--not that close, not that far. Jesse might have done a thing to two to convince Hanzo about moving in. There were a few potted white petunias near the front porch, but Jesse wasn't approaching from that side. Hanzo enjoyed keeping the little critters nice and watered along with the other plants he kept in the house. Jesse would have never dreamed inhabiting a space with about 1.5 spider plants per room. He did the math one day when Hanzo was gone on a business trip. The living room had 3, the kitchen 1, the study 0, the downstairs bathroom 1, their bedroom 2, the guest room 0, the master bathroom 2. The only reason he knew was because he was on plant duty that day. Not a single spider plant left untouched. In addition to so many potted plants, Hanzo liked to keep a baby cactus on his night stand.

  
Jesse figured he was almost home.

  
What he liked most about living with Hanzo probably wasn’t that he electronically paid all the bills, kept the bathroom towels clean or always made the house smell fruit and flowers, but how he’d get to hear his voice day in and day out. It always got to him. He’d found someone that was as important to him as his ol’ mother. Hanzo was something else. He’d stick around in the kitchen when it was high time he arrived. Hanzo’d glance up from whatever he was reading and give him a curt wave. He would greet back and start taking off his boots, setting them on the welcome mat. Hanzo at that point would start asking about his day and maybe give him a kiss or two if Jesse didn’t smell that bad. Otherwise, Jesse would have to shower and come back downstairs for dinner. Funny how that worked. Hanzo became ½ the reason Jesse showered regularly. Mornings were no different. Jesse’d wake up at 5 every morning to make them coffee. In their matching mugs. He McLoved it. They were literally the same mugs. The only thing that distinguished Hanzo’s from Jesse’s was a notch on the bottom. They were otherwise indistinguishable. Jesse’d go up and wake Hanzo up. Hanzo would stare at him like he was the very pit of hell but they’d kiss good morning and sip together before Jesse had to leave.

  
Today’s evening would be no different. They'd start talking about how their days went--Jesse’d mention the child he chaperoned today being mesmerized by the pinto pony and Hanzo would talk about a printer malfunction. The light would shine from the ceiling and onto the small, 2-seat table just big enough for the both of them. Hanzo's face’d glow as he finished off a stuffed pepper or two. Jesse would smirk as he saw a few grains of rice get stuck in Hanzo'd beard. He’d laugh as he reached over the table and thumbed the buggers off. He’d kiss Hanzo again, and again, and again...

  
It was getting darker. The sun still illuminated the scape, but not as vigorously as before. Almost all of it had disappeared under the horizon. Soon it would be black, except for the stars in the sky and the scattered street lamps that were shined tinted orange. The lights in their house would be off as they got into bed with each other, the only thing on being the digital alarm clock. It would show the time in red numbers. Jesse would try to spoon Hanzo again. Hanzo would probably try to blanket burrito himself sometime during the night, rendering Jesse blanketless.

  
Jesse had it bad.

  
He kept walking.

  
The house felt the same distance it was 10 minutes ago. It was about the same size off in the distance. Hanzo was probably wondering where he was, sitting all by himself. Something was off. Jesse came to a halt. So did the squeaky crunch of the soil under his feet. The scape started to move. His house looked like it was starting to move back, away from Jesse. The sun set all at once. It went black. No more cheery red or vibrant purple. He couldn’t make sense of a thing that was happening. The stars started to move fast enough that Jesse noticed them diagonally make their way across the sky. Something was off. They continued to move, faster than before. They started to go so fast Jesse wondered what bus they were trying to catch. 30 seconds passed. The darkness soon let up, and the sky started to turn orange as if there was a fire ablaze. He saw the sun rise, ferocious against the waning night. Blue. It was morning. The house looked like a spec of dust, miles away.

  
What. In. Tarnation.

  
Jesse moved and fell flat off his bed with his sheets.

  
Oof. He yawned as he realized that he was in his room. His alarm had been going off for the past couple of minutes. He sat up and tried to smooth out the hair on the back of his head. There was sweat on the back of his neck. Didn’t think it’d happen again like this. He slapped the off button on the clock and scratched his back. 6:30 AM. Nothing like an early start to at working at home, right?

  
His phone went off. It buzzed on the wooden night stand. Jesse unplugged the damn critter from the wall charger and picked it up.

   6:31 AM  
   Tuesday, March 5

   Hanzo Shimada  
   Thank you for turning off the alarm. I almost gave you a call.

Damn. Jesse should have waited before pressing anything.

  
\--

  
Jesse could ask why Genji had a baby green mini-van, but it just didn’t feel appropriate. Adults got certain cars for a reason. He didn’t know what reason could explain having a mini-van besides being a parent with multiple children. Maybe Genji drove his child to soccer practice every weekend. Maybe Genji drove his multiple children to soccer practice every weekend. How old was Genji anyways? He was probably old enough to have several tikes. Jesse sure was, though he didn’t have any. Hana felt like the daughter he never had, but that didn’t really count. Angela almost felt like his second mother, though she wasn’t very maternal outside of patching him up every so often.

  
Jesse couldn’t point out a day she’d felt more like his mom than the day they met.

  
It was a very shiny day of July, as he recalls it. It was 2 in the afternoon and the heat started to roll in. 105°F/40°C was pure hell. He was sure he’d see Satan himself if he stayed outside any longer. He was wearing a thin flannel shirt and his jeans were rolled mid-way up his calves. He just wanted the day to be over so he could go back home to air conditioning. Wasn’t going to happen any time soon, though. It’s not like they got much traffic on the weekdays either. There wasn’t a person in sight he could talk with. Jesse just fell asleep, dead to the world. He was exhausted. Even as he slept, his eyebags stung a little and his muscles felt sore. Last week had really taken a toll on him. Someone had called sick in 3 times and it was Jesse’s turn to pick up the slack. Some of the miscellaneous tasks he handled that week included: cleaning out the stables, make sure the chicken coop had water, round up a cow that had broken and gone through the fence, repair the fence. Jesse’s hands were also sore from the amount of hours he had put in driving one of the damn tractors around. Anyhow, what mattered that he was currently out of commission. His employer hold it against him. He deserved a respite from all the farm calamity.

  
The Doctor rolled in during some point of his little nap. She had undone his shirt collar button and moved a fan from inside to where he was asleep. It was hitting his face when he woke up, offering a little help. She was sitting on the floor in front of him, scratching some numbers onto a form or two. Boy was he confused. Wasn’t this the little market he was supposed to be running? Or was he somewhere else entirely?

  
She noticed him shuffle and looked back. She sighed in relief.

  
“Hello, I am Dr. Angela Ziegler and I decided to check up on you after believing you were unconscious. Are you alright? Do you need any fresh water? An ice pack? I have a few in my car if you need any. Are you experiencing any problems? Pain?”

  
A doctor? “No, ma’am”.

  
“Are you sure? Was there a reason you fell asleep, presumably on the job?” She sure knew how to ask questions.

  
The doctor’s blonde hair was in a neat bun and she was wearing a pair of sunglasses like a headband. She had on a sleeveless dress shirt. It was tucked into her A-line skirt. She didn’t have a doctor’s coat but she acted all the parts--prying into his business, asking all the right questions to determine his status. Jesse wouldn’t blame her about the coat part. Doctor or not, he wouldn’t wear another layer out in this heat. Her eyeliner was so sharp it looked like it could slice a tomato in half, but that’s not something he said.

  
“Exhaustion”.

  
“One moment please”.

  
She got up and walked to her car. It was yellow and small. It didn’t look like it had much horse power. Jesse hoped she didn’t have to go through any mud out here. He didn’t think the little bugger could make its way out alive.

  
Dr. Ziegler came back with a pamphlet about healthy eating and balanced meals.

  
“If your diet needs fixing, please try to start eating healthy. It shouldn’t be too hard with all the fresh produce around here. Otherwise, I would suggest going to bed early and even asking for a day off to rest up. You shouldn’t be pushing yourself too hard. You could have fallen asleep while doing something more pressing--driving, for example, or holding a power tool”.

  
She went on. Jesse tried to listen to all of it. What a stroke of luck, being visited by a doctor like this. He doesn’t remember the last time he had a check-up. Not even sure what a check-up entailed. But whatever came out of her mouth was sure to be solid advice, and he tried to swallow it.

  
Angela stopped in the middle of what she was saying. “Excuse me! I forgot to ask. What is your name?”

  
Jesse, in the awful state that he was in, tried to look perky. “Jesse McCree. Nice to meet you!”

  
They shook hands. Her grip was very firm. As expected of a professional.

  
“Well, Jesse. Since I was looking to take a stop anyways, how about you let me use the restroom and tell me more about yourself--that is, if you’re otherwise unoccupied”.

  
Jesse welcomed company with open arms.

  
“The restroom is on the left and I’ll be right out with some tea”.

  
Angela eyed another chair and pulled it up next to Jesse’s. She wondered how much business he got out here. She eyed the time. Monday afternoon at 3:05PM. Sun wouldn’t set for another 4 or 5 hours. She said she’d get home on Wednesday, which was in 2 days. There were only 11 more hours between her home. She was so excited to see them, Fareeha and Hana, again that she swore she could drive all 11 hours straight. But it wasn’t the healthiest idea and she knew it. How could she tell others how to take care of themselves without setting limits and taking care of herself? Turning into a hypocrite was the last thing on her list of things to accomplish. Jesse brought out two cups of what he liked to call “Special Iced Tea”.

  
It was the sweetest thing she’d ever put in her mouth. She was glad there were straws. Drinking out of a straw reduces the amount of liquid hitting the teeth directly, and therefore preventing tooth decay. She made sure to tell Jesse that.

  
“So, what are ya doing all the way out here, Doc? Smack middle of the South”. It was a bit odd. The closest hospital was about 20 miles away.

  
Angela continued sipping. “I was called out to be a temporary staff member in a lab. They were trying to make a vaccine for one of the latest cold strains. I didn’t help that much but we did end up succeeding. I decided to make the entire thing a road trip and took my car”.

  
Looks like she wasn’t just a doctor. Little did Jesse know she was also a scientist. She was everything he had ever wanted to be as a young kid--back when he was still in school.  
“I’m really glad I’m going home. I can’t wait to taste some of my wife’s cooking. She makes the BEST fish kofta you have ever tasted. It’s been about a month now. She’s called me at least once every day since I left, but I just want to see her. I almost booked a plane to get home faster, but she’d chew me out if I left my car like 10 states away”.

  
Jesse couldn’t believe his ears. He heard that correctly, right?

  
“Doctor, you have a wife?”

  
He tried to hide his excitement, but it didn’t work.

  
“Yes, like I just mentioned. Her name is Fareeha and she’s the sweetest angel”.

  
The Doc was really living the dream if she had a job and was living it up with a same-gender spouse to boot.

  
“What’s it like having a wife?” He couldn’t help but ask.

  
Angela didn’t know where this was going, but she answered as best as she could.

  
“Nothing out of the ordinary, I assure you. We love each other and sometimes she forgets what day is recycling day so I have to take the bins out late at night when she’s asleep”.

  
Happy. Domestic.

  
Jesse chewed on his straw a little.

  
“Do you want a wife?”

  
Angela sipped her drink.

  
“Yes--no?”

  
Jesse felt a lump in his throat. He tried to continue. Just say it, Jesse.

  
“Well I… ya know”.

  
It was as easy as 1, 2, 3 and Angela was a safe person to tell. She lived far away and there’s no way anyone else was around to hear it. He still didn’t want to say it, though.

There was only so much he could stall. Sharing part of himself with a stranger was fine enough, he supposed. Jesse would probably never get this chance again. 

“I reckon I’m just like you”.

  
He bit his lip and waited for a response. Angela looked over. He must have looked like a cat about to be dropped into a tub full of water.

  
“You have a wife already?”

  
He couldn’t help but groan.

What an experience.

Coming out was sure something else, even if it was just to one person. Jesse couldn’t tell how serious the Doc was being. She looked at him with an earnest expression. There’s no way he was the same height as here. She had seen him walk over here for hell’s sake. She must have been joking around, but Jesse took it seriously.

  
“No, no, I mean”--

  
Angela started laughing. She looked as bright as a ray of sunlight. She punched his shoulder with all her might and tried not to spill her drink. She was just messing with him, was all.

  
“Do you like men, Jesse? Isn’t hit hard all the way out here?”

  
She continued to smile as she looked at him.

  
He felt his eyes start to swell up. A grown man like himself, crying in front of someone. He tried to cover his face with his hat, but he knew Angela would know he was tearing up anyways. He felt his ears and cheeks go red. There was no use hiding.

  
“Aw, Jesse. You’re so sweet. Just look at you go”. She gave him another laugh and slushed around her drink a little. Jesse could here the the ice clink on the glass walls of the cup. “Have you ever told anyone else?”

  
Jesse bent over and placed his elbows over his knees. He tipped his hat out of his face and stared at Angela.  
“I reckon I haven’t”.

  
She smiled. Jesse felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt safe for once in his life. Ah. Wow.  
“I’m glad you told me”.

  
Jesse felt like another wave of tears was about to come and he asked permission for a hug. Angela said yes and he was able to bury himself in her arms before his eyes started to leak. And they leaked like there would be no tomorrow. He felt snot coming down his nose. He tried to sniff it back up. Angela let go when she realized heard him start sniffing.

  
“Please don’t blow your nose on my shirt, I’ll be right back with a box of tissues”.

  
This time she dashed to her car and came back with a little tissue packet. Jesse ripped it open and started blowing his nose. He felt like he was going to blow half his weight out in mucus. He was just so happy. He didn’t know what to do.

  
“Thank ya”.

  
Angela patted his back as he tried to dry his eyes.

  
They sat there in silence for a bit, looking past the main gate, at the road, and at the field of corn. There was nothing out here except fields and fields of corn. A breeze hit them. The heat of the day was starting to subside. Angela rubbed his back a bit more before yawning.

“Are you insured? Are you properly vaccinated?”

From one thing to the next. Jesse gave her a nod.

“Both, I think”.

Angela nodded in approval. She looked at her watch again. 5:01 PM. It was time to head off.

  
“I’d love to stay and chat with you, but I need to leave, you know? Family calling”.

  
Jesse looked a little sad. Not every day he made a friend and not every day one he could relate so much with. He didn’t want to see her go.

  
“Don’t give me that look!” Angela gave him a smile. She patted her pockets for a business card and a pen. Business card--check. Pen--check. Having pockets was the fucking best. She scribbled her home address and telephone number on the back. The front had her office address and number along with her name. It also had a little cartoon doctor on it, but that wasn’t important here. “Keep in touch and if you ever find yourself in Ellie City and ‘reckon yourself with a place to stay”. She tried to mimic his voice for the last part.

  
He gave out a little chuckle. He took the little paper in his hands and looked at the city twice. The card felt cool in his hands.

  
“Ellie City?” Like the one on the East coast he went to during the winter? He debated whether to ask, but the state and zip code matched up too.

  
“There’s no way. I’m there every winter! From December to March. I have my own little place in the Overshire apartment building? Have any idea where that is. Well, there must be more than one apartment building. I’m also close to Red’s Supermarket”.

  
Angela gave him a look.

  
“That means you’re only a few blocks away”.

  
Silence again.

  
What a day.

  
“You need to stop by for dinner! And meet my wife and child! Oh my goodness, and you need to join us for mini-golf in March!”  
They linked hands.

  
“That would be so much fun! I can’t wait to meet Fareeha!”

  
Angela smirked. “You’ll have a time meeting my daughter too, Hana!”

  
“You have a child too! Well render me helpless to enemy attack”.

  
They laughed. They waved goodbye. Angela drove away.

  
What a day.

  
Jesse forgot he was in Genji’s car. He looked over. Genji was focusing on the road. He still hadn’t told him where they were going.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car ride with Genji Shimada. Chill time with Hand Soap.

"Hey, how long have you and Hand Soap been dating?"

  
They were in Genji's car. They were headed North West as signaled by the green letters on the top right of the rear-view mirror. Jesse was strapped into the passenger seat, no adjustments needed this time. He fiddled with his collar button.

  
"I'm not too sure," Jesse answered. It was the truth. He didn't know.

  
Genji slowed down and flicked the turn signal on to make a right turn. Traffic wasn't too bad at this time of day. They left mini-golf at the right time. The inside of Genji's car smelled like the formula in a Febreze brand car vent clip. Fresh. It also had one of those damn screens like Hanzo's car, but Jesse said none of it. It was taking him home alright. At least, it looked like they were going in the right direction.

  
"Oh?"

  
Genji found it unusual that his brother would hide a partner like this, but it wasn't his place to intervene. It was especially odd if they've been dating for such a time Jesse didn't know exactly how long it's been. Genji doesn't recall and recent changes in Hanzo's behavior that would signal him dating someone. Very odd. Hanzo went on business dinners quite often. Maybe he was meeting with Jesse once and their relationship started there. Or maybe he used business dinners as a cover up for dates. Strange thing was, Genji hadn't heard of the name before. If it was a business dinner, he’d probably hear whom at some point. Genji'd definitely at least recognize the name. He pondered a bit more. Hanzo didn’t seem the type to own a dating app. Was there any reason to hide a partner either? He remembers when father tried to marry Hanzo off back in the day and then tried to marry him off. Hanzo refused, Genji played the "I'm seeing someone" card. It was valid at the time. He was. But was Hanzo? If that was the case then how long had it really been? No, no. Hanzo can hide, but he cannot hide very well. And especially for that long. Genji couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe Hanzo would have pulled the same card, but didn’t want to be upfront about dating someone of the same gender. No, no, no. But that was years ago, and Genji means years.

  
Jesse coughed.

  
"I've said this before, but nice to meet you Jesse". Genji tipped the visor hat that was now on his head. It was a pink tennis visor. He switched it with his sweat band when he got in the car. He liked using it in addition to the built-in car visor. "Thank you for taking care of my sibling".

  
"It's no problem".

  
They continued down the road, stopping at red lights. The sun shone through the windshield. It was a nice day out.

  
Genji offered to take Jesse home after his ride disappeared. Jesse accepted and they were off before Fareeha, Angela, and Hana could catch up with them. Jesse sent Fareeha a text message, but he'd give them all a call later and explain what happened. He wasn't quite sure what to say, though.

  
"Hi y'all. Sorry I skedaddled out of there. Hanzo left after seeing his brother and his brother offered me a ride home". They'd probably ask why Hanzo left and specifically why after seeing his brother. Jesse didn't have a damn clue. Just what in tarnation was going on here? He didn't like getting involved, but hell, look at him. He was in Genji's car and was probably going to see Hanzo later today. He was already involved. Might as well get the rest of the pieces filled in.

  
"Are you and Hanzo fighting over something?"

  
It went cold. Jesse felt like he may have dropped too much of a question. Funny how it was cold. He was in a jacket and all and the heater was turned on a bit. It wasn't that cold outside and his skin certainly didn’t feel cold. But it was cold. Genji looked like he didn't want to answer, like he was nervous about being asked.

  
Genji sighed.

  
"I'm not too sure".

  
Genji started to break--another red light.

  
"We haven't seen each other in about a month. We worked in the same office and together as well. Hanzo was moved and I couldn't keep up with all the responsibilities myself". He twiddled his fingers on the leather of the steering wheel. "Essentially, I quit because he put some pressure on me to square up and I thought it best for him to find someone else for the job. It looks like he regrets lashing out at me though. I don't know. It's not entirely his fault. Sure, he could have been nicer about it but we're both adults. I could have tried harder before leaving a note of resignation".

  
The light turned green. Genji applied the gas and they were moving along again.

  
"It's actually chill. I forgive him for what it's worth. It's not that big of a deal but it looks like he's taking it harder than I am. He's always been like this. He tries to shoulder everything himself, you know? And then he gets really upset and doesn't reach out to anyone about it. Man!"

  
Jesse sat back and watched Genji shift focus back on the road. Bonding with another person over Hanzo wasn't something Jesse ever imagined doing. Again. Not sure if he bonded with Angela over that drink-and-chat though. He counted it towards bonding anyways. He sure Angela understood him a little better after that. That counted as bonding, right? Even though he didn’t learn anything new about Angela.

  
"Hanzo--we talk a lot and I want to say I know him. We're not that close yet, but I hope our relationship can grow from where it is. For what it's worth, ya know, I'll try to help him out as best I can".

  
Genji gave him a nod. Jesse was with his brother. He seemed like a nice guy.

  
Jesse tried to make light of the conversation.

  
"He kicked you out of ALAM though? That's nonsense. He can be so mean! The other day I tried to come over and watch a game with him and he wouldn't lend me the popcorn bowl. He ate the entire thing himself!"

  
Popcorn--ok. Very fair. That sounds exactly like something Hanzo would pull. ALAM--had Genji heard correctly? Hanzo wasn't working at ALAM, he was working at the LLS. Genji was working at ALAM. Him, Genji. He debated asking for more details.

  
The GPS went off. "5 minutes until arrival at destination".

  
If we was going to ask, he'd better do it quick. It was that or, well, forever holding his peace. Jesse sure didn't look like he was lying.

  
"ALAM you say?"

  
"Yeah, ALAM. Like you know, the ALAM Corporation? Might tough place to be kicked out of I say".

  
Didn't sound like he was joking either. Maybe he was doing a joint project with the Ellie City branch, but that wouldn't be a transfer. Did he quit the LLS? Genji'd have to ask about it later. It would explain why he hasn't received any responses to the numerous letters he's sent. He mailed a bunch of them to Hanzo's personal mail box along with their father's house. There's no way they'd be missed. Or maybe Hanzo just didn't want to talk to him. But if Hanzo’s office wasn’t Hanzo’s office anymore and Hanzo hasn’t visited home, it would make a little sense.

  
"Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere, Jesse?"

  
"Maybe. Maybe a few. If you're looking for a résumé and references though, I'll send you an e-mail. Are you trying to assess how good of a man I am for your sibling there?"  
Genji laughed.

  
"I'm sure you're more than qualified to look after Hanzo".

  
Jesse laughed too. He gave Genji quite a bit of lip but he was glad he didn't pursue the line of questioning. Looks like they were almost there. They drove past Angela and Fareeha's. It was a little single-family home with a light blue exterior and a purple roof. Very cute.

  
“My apologizes for interrupting your date today”.

  
Genji replayed the scene where Jesse was kissing Hanzo’s hand in his mind. He wouldn’t have expected that type of behavior from his brother. Jesse would probably be scolded later for doing something in public like that.

  
"It’s no problem, Genji. Besides, me and Hanzo weren't on a date today. I was invited to a family outing by one of my friends. Her spouse, Fareeha Amari, invited Hanzo along. She said she bumped into him at work and took the opportunity".

  
Fareeha? Genji flicked the turn signal on and went right, of course, after stopping at the intersection. They worked together sometimes. In fact, they saw each other almost every day. They worked on the same floor. Fareeha coming into contact with Hanzo?

  
"I know Fareeha too, actually! A shame we didn’t stay. We actually met in a project a few years back. It was in Hanamura, Japan. Overseas branch expansion. Fareeha did security. It was fantastic. She's an excellent leader. Did I mention Hanzo was also assigned on the same project? It was quite the ride, I have to say. Who's her spouse?"  
Jesse was glad to keep the conversation going. "Dr. Angela Ziegler. She'll patch you right up".

  
Genji pushed on the break and went into a parking garage. He assumed this was the right place because Jesse had yet to stop him.  
"Can't say I've heard of her, but she sounds delightful".

  
He pulled over next to a short flight of stairs. It led up to a platform with a glass door leading to a tiled area. It was a little hall that had not 1, but 2 elevators.

  
"It's been a treat, Jesse".

  
Introduction to Hanzo's Brother: Success. They shook hands goodbye.

  
"Likewise, Genji. I'll see you and your sweet ride around some other time. Jesse closed the door behind him and watched the mini-van drive off. Celebratory fist pump. That's how you do it, Jesse McCree. He danced up the steps and made his way into the room. He pressed the up button and waited for transportation to arrive. Looks like they were on the right foot so far, no troubles ahead. Was this what it was like to meet a partner's family member? He wished he could do it again real soon if it always went this smoothly. Genji seemed like a nice guy and all. He remembered Fareeha complaining about having to meet Angela’s parents once. It must have not always been butter and cream.

  
Shoot.

  
Why did Genji have a mini-van?

  
The glass door on the other side of the hall swung open. Jesse looked over and saw Hanzo with a bag in his hands. Silence. Hanzo walked over and saw that the up button was already lit. He moved and stood next to Jesse's side. He looked like he was tired, but Jesse didn't want to say anything. Had he gone shopping? Jesse bounced his fingers around at his side. He loomed over Hanzo's shoulder. Hanzo shifted back and moved the bag out of his sight. Alcohol. The elevator binged and they moved inside. Hanzo moved towards the back. Jesse punched in the number 5 and moved next to him. Jesse tried to loom over his shoulder again. He was curious as to what type Hanzo had bought. Hanzo caught him trying to stare and shifted the bag away again. Feisty.

  
"You're popping bottles and you're not inviting me?"

  
Jesse placed and hand over Hanzo's left shoulder. Jesse pulled him in.

 

"Is something the matter, dark and mysterious? Are you down in the dirt about something?"

  
Hanzo chided him. "It's nothing I can't handle".

  
Jesse looked down at him, arm still hooked. Hanzo looked up.

  
"Let me in your business. I'm saying I want to get involved here". Jesse tugged at him a little. Fooling around was one of his many hobbies.  
"You don't understand what that means".

  
The elevator pinged again. Floor 5. The stepped out, Hanzo in Jesse's arm. Hanzo bought this 1.4L bottle for himself and no one else, but maybe it was time for a change of pace and drink with someone. He debated the pros and cons of drinking with Jesse. Last time was fun. This time would probably be fun too. Maybe it was the right choice.  
Jesse unzipped his jacket. "It's nothing I can't handle. Why don't we take this to my place?"

  
Hanzo allowed himself to be led. Jesse's house smelled like cedar and honey. It was a smell he could appreciate. The lights at the entrance were a warm orange. They were one of the sensor models that turned off automatically if there was no activity for 2 minutes. Hanzo found them pretty neat. Jesse had over ecological technology scattered through his home, another of which was his low-rise toilet. Jesse walked around the corner and started palming the wall for the light switch. They came on and the kitchen and living room were in view. Some light shone through the kitchen window. Jesse went over and opened the curtains. He then moved one of the counter stools from one side of the kitchen counter to the other, so they would be facing each other. He motioned for Hanzo to take a seat. Hanzo removed his shoes at the doorway and hung up his coat along with his hoodie. There was no reason for him to be wearing 2 layers in 40°F/4°C but there he was, burning through the day. He took the bag with him into the kitchen and placed the bottle of sake on the counter. Jesse eyed the bottle.

  
"Is this like, whiskey? Brandy?"

  
Hanzo gave him a look. Teasing, with his mouth raised at one of the corners.

  
"Neither, but I would compare it more to wine than anything else".

  
“Well, all I needed to know”.

  
Jesse got up and looked through one of his cabinets. He reached up and took two wine cups from one of the shelves. Hanzo's tattoo was showing again. Jesse secretly liked how it spiraled down his bicep--added a little bit of flare. He could only guess where it started--probably at the beginning of his arm or maybe even his breast somewhere. If Hanzo decided to wear a tank top over one day Jesse would have a clearer answer. It was a hell of a tattoo. Hanzo didn't look like the sort to sit through the entire procedure. Must have taken hours. Jesse himself would never want a tattoo, and especially of that size. He hated needles. Hanzo gave him a laugh.

  
"That's not what you drink sake in, cowboy".

  
Hanzo’s voice rang in his ears. Jesse brought the cups to the counter anyways.

 

"Are you sassing me, Hanzo Shimada? Me, the wonderful person that's so graciously guided you into their home?"

  
Hanzo looked at the cups and laughed a bit more. The sound came right out of his mouth. Sake, in a wine cup. This was the most ridiculous thing he’s done by far. He scratched a rip into the plastic cover on the bottle top and peeled it off. Jesse took the bottle and took the cap off with a bottle opener. He handed it back to Hanzo, whom pored.

  
"I must apologize for leaving you behind earlier. It wasn't my intention., but it appears you arrived home safely. Did Fareeha take you?"

  
Jesse gave the drink a sniff. It smelled like plum and something else he couldn't put his finger on. He gave it a taste. Sweet and bitter.

  
"No, Genji offered to take me home and I left with him. Which reminds me, I still have to give her a call. I sent her a text message earlier, but I should call just in case. Hanzo, this sake is quite the choice you've made. Do you have this all the time?"

  
Jesse didn't really know what to make of it, but he tried to at least finish half of what was given to him. Maybe he'd warm up to it if he tried more of it.

  
Hanzo gave him a look. That's exactly what he was worried would happen--Jesse seeing that atrocious mini-van. "I'm sorry for any inconvenience. I really did not intend to leave you stranded. You've never had sake before? This is my favorite brand. I try not to drink, however. This is the first time in a while".

  
Hanzo looked a little ashamed after admitting to his drinking habits. Geez, seeing Genji again really must have stressed him out then. Which reminded Jesse. They were technically dating now. Genji scratched on the topic but Jesse was at a loss with how to answer. It’s been a few hours, being official and all.

  
"So, I hear you're my boyfriend now? Can you remind me of when this was decided on? I don't remember being asked to be your special someone”.

  
Hanzo gulped the rest of his cup down and poured himself some more. "I said that at the moment because admitting to my younger brother that I was consenting to touching outside of a relationship would be shameful. I thought it was obvious".

  
Sure wasn't obvious to Jesse. "We're dating because your brother saw me kiss your hand?”

  
“Yes”.

  
He finished his cup. So they were dating. It felt kind of silly, this being so prompt. He wasn't going to complain though.

  
Hanzo felt a little jitter in his stomach. He was dating this man. Jesse McCree. A man. To tell the truth, this was better than pushing him away. Probably. He looked at Jesse’s warm eyes. He felt the urge to go home and go to bed. He felt a breeze on the back of his neck. Hanzo scratched it. He came here to drown his sorrows out, not cause more problems for himself. He took off his hair tie to re-adjust his ponytail. Maybe tightening his hair tie would make him feel better.

  
Jesse gave a low whistle.

  
Shoot.

  
Hanzo felt blood rush to his face.

  
"What?"

  
Hanzo's hair stopped right under his shoulders. It was a little wavy from being tied up. He gathered it and made a little bun. He stretched the hair tie over it and looped around twice.  
"I think you're cute, ya know".

  
So much for a distraction. Hanzo gave himself a mental nudge on the shoulder. Jesse was a person above all else, and his friend. Scratch that. Officially, boyfriend now, but friend none-the-less. He'd weighed out the pros and cons of bringing this about and had reached a solid conclusion. Hanzo's have to say goodbye to any remaining traces of same-gender repulsion if this was going to work. It made sense in his head. He marked it up. Don't feel unwarranted disrespect towards this guy. He's been with you for an entire month, and you think he's fun to be around and has a solid set of morals. Hanzo scrunched his nose a little at Jesse and started drinking some more. It make sense, doesn't it, Hanzo? It’s immoral to dislike him just because. You’re the immoral one in this case.

  
"I know you think so". Hanzo frowned. It’s not like Jesse skipped out on flirting. He knew he was interested, and that’s what made this so frustrating.

  
Jesse caught on to how upset Hanzo was looking. He didn't know what he was fighting, but decided keeping his mouth shut for once was the best idea. They sat in silence and drank some more. Jesse tried not to stare. He didn't want to force Hanzo to talk about anything. It would just make it worse.

  
The sun started to set and they bathed in warm oranges and tangy purples. The light came through the open window curtains and hit the back of Jesse’s head. He looked like he was glowing, from where Hanzo was sitting. Hanzo looked like a Christmas tree, from Jesse’s perspective. Jesse gave a sigh. Just another quiet evening at home. They talked about Genji for a bit. Hanzo expressed how much he loathed his actions. Jesse tried to sooth him with bringing up with how ok Genji was with it all. Genji wasn’t joking when he said Hanzo liked to worry by himself. God. When it was all set and done, Jesse tried to make light of the situation. Jesse had stopped after one cup of sake, but Hanzo just kept going. Might as well give Hanzo the relaxing evening he wanted.

  
“Do you watch movies? What is your opinion on Clint Eastwood?”

  
Hanzo perked up a little. He poured another half cup and set the sake bottle aside. Looks like he was done for the evening. “Oh, he’s fantastic. Have you seen ‘Hang ‘Em High’?”  
Jesse couldn’t believe his ears. That one was pretty good. “I have that exact movie. Want to sit down on the couch and watch it with me. Fresh out of snacks but that shouldn’t impede our evening. Let’s have some fun! Why don’t you have some water and go for a bathroom break?”

  
Hanzo nodded. Jesse didn’t know what stage of drunk he was. Probably more silly than sloppy. He himself was sober as hell, truth be told. If sake was comparable to wine, 1 cup wouldn’t do much. He made his way to the DVD shelf and tried to find the movie. It took him a little bit to search. He had all of Clint’s films. They filled up an entire shelf. It was ridiculous. He heard Hanzo make it safely to the bathroom. The door shut behind him. “Hang ‘Em High”.... “Hang ‘Em High”... Gotcha. He opened the box and found the disk was missing. Fuck. Un-gotcha. He tried remembering the last time he watched it. Wasn’t it like a week ago? He found the TV and DVD player remotes. He turned both of the machines on and saw the disk was already inserted. Score. He went into his bedroom and grabbed the comforter and two pillows off his bed and brought them back to the living room. Hanzo was laying on the couch, waiting for the movie to start.

  
“Why is the movie not starting?”

  
Jesse looked over.

  
“Start hasn’t been pressed yet. Let me get that for ya”.

  
He put a pillow behind Hanzo’s head and gave him the comforter. Hanzo looked like he was solving a puzzle, trying to unfold it. Jesse took the DVD player remote off the table and pressed start. He put it back down and made his way back to the couch. Hanzo had managed to drop the comforter on the floor. He looked at Jesse and gave him a smile.  
“I love this movie”.

  
Jesse wasn’t sure if it was the booze talking or not. Hanzo sounded almost the same. There was a little slur in how he spoke, like the edges of the words he was saying didn’t exist. But, all-in-all, Jesse almost couldn’t have guessed he had just chugged like 5 cups of that sake stuff. Jesse grabbed the blanket off the floor and draped it over them. The movie began. He felt Hanzo’s warmth start to radiate to his side of the blanket. Clint Eastwood again in the middle of some drama.

  
They fell asleep.

  
\--

  
Jesse wasn’t sure when the movie ended. It was pitch black outside. He got out of the covers and went to turn off all of the lights. It went dark as the lights turned off one by one. The entrance was already dark. He debated moving Hanzo to the bed, but it looks like he was as snug as a bug already. The living room lights went off. The only source of light came from the green letters of the DVD player. Jesse felt his way back and got under the covers. He felt the hair on Hanzo’s leg rub up against his own.

  
“God almighty”.

  
Jesse tried to lay down without thinking about how close they were and how, quite literally, they were rubbing up against each other. Hanzo felt warm. He still smelled faintly of alcohol, but it looks like his body started processing it out of his system a while ago. Jesse yawned. He turned on his phone and the brightness hit him smack in the face. He hated it when that happened. If phones were so smart, why didn’t they automatically dim after a certain time? 2:01AM. It was early in the morning. Hanzo started to squirm. He kicked Jesse right in the thigh.

  
“Jesse”.

  
Jesse turned his phone off and tried to reposition himself.

  
“What?”

  
Hanzo kicked him again. He moaned a little--something Jesse couldn’t quite make out.

  
“Do you need something?”

  
“Don’t go”.

  
“What?”

  
Jesse heard Hanzo pant. He went and turned the living room lights on to dim setting 1. Just enough to make out where he and Hanzo were in the room. Jesse went over and knelt besides him. Hanzo was sweating a little.

  
“Don’t leave me, Jesse”.

  
Hanzo’s grip on the covers tightened. He furrowed his eyebrows.

  
“Don’t go. Don’t go”.

  
This time a little louder. Jesse leaned over and got a better look at his face. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and felt his cheek. It was hot.

  
“Don’t leave”.

  
Jesse brushed the hair out of his face.

  
“I’m right here”.

  
Maybe moving him to the bed was the best idea after all. Jesse momentarily turned his phone on again for the date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewrote this like 3 times because i didn't know how i wanted jesse/genji to interact! story should get rolling from here. thank u for reading so far!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast at Jesse's. Office shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who finally makes an appearance? Tracer! (woo-hoo!) Reinhardt gets a little cameo. boy oh boy are we moving fast into the next segment of this fic. hope u enjoy! and thank u for reading up until now! i really appreciate the lovely comments. lmk if anything is up!

Hanzo got up and slammed his hand on the nightstand, turning off an alarm that wasn't there. He fumbled and made his way to the bathroom. It was 7 AM on Monday, March 9th. It was time to head to work. His head hurt but that wasn't anything a Tylenol or two couldn't fix. He recalled the single use packets he kept in his suitcase. It was a bit cool. If he recalled correctly, it would be around 34°C/1°C. Hanzo didn't have much of a taste for March. It was always unpredictable. It was supposed to be a nice transition month from Winter to Spring, but its desire to screw around always persevered. It would be cool a week, temperate the next. Dressing was a nightmare.

  
He opened the medicine cabinet and fished out a toothbrush. He squeezed out some toothpaste and put his brush in his mouth. Minty. Maybe a little bit too minty. Hanzo paused and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair tie was still on. He was fully clothed. The toothbrush in his mouth was red. Not green. Red. Hanzo backtracked and went back into the bedroom.

  
This wasn't his. It didn't look like it was his and it certainly didn't smell like it was his. He took a sniff at his arm. He didn't smell like him either. There were clothing articles strewn across the floor and a chair full of shirts in the corner, from what he could see. There wasn't much light except that which was shining through the gaps of the window curtains. He sniffed his arm again. Curious... unless... He took a good look at the bed. Sheets. Pillows. By the amount of disorder, it looked like he slept alone and his skin decided on taking on the smell of what was there. He went back into the bathroom--off the bedroom carpet and onto the smooth, cool bathroom tile. The deed was done. He brushed his teeth to completion.

  
Jesse was taking his sweet time on the couch. He looked like he was having a pleasant dream. Working from home sounded like it would take a great deal of discipline and organization. Hanzo, personally, was not sure he was cut out to work like that. Being around other people kept him stressed--the good kind that made him do and complete all of his tasks. It was a little silly, but it was how he managed. He liked being around people despite not having a complete grasp on how to successfully socialize. He wondered how Jesse did it. Jesse was a very sociable sort. Opposite of him, in fact. He probably called his friends during the day and talked to them while filing or something. Hanzo couldn't imagine Jesse not speaking to anyone for more than an hour while awake. Jesse looked like he was dreaming up something good. Jesse was smiling. He shuffled under his blanket.

  
Best not disturb the sugar plum prince.

  
Hanzo remembered coming over, watching a movie, and falling asleep. He did not remember being moved. It was sort of exciting, not knowing exactly what happened. He tried to fill in the gaps. Jesse probably moved him after falling asleep. Jesse probably tucked him in. Jesse probably moved back to the couch and went to sleep right after. Easy. Maybe too easy. It was a little unsatisfying. He paused. How could a clear cut situation be unsatisfying? Waking up next to him would have been infinitely more complicated. He'd be mulling over whether they engaged in any form of sexual contact. Coming into sexual contact had--implications. Hanzo chided himself. Why want anything complex?  
Not that sexual contact was necessarily off limits.

  
They’re dating.

  
Hanzo took a breath.

  
Sex with Jesse.

  
It was too early for this nonsense.

  
The kitchen looked like had been cleared. He found the bottle of booze in a recycling bin along with plastic yogurt cups and the sort. Strawberry. Interesting. The digital clock on the stove read 7:04 AM. He had about 35 minutes to make breakfast, get dressed, and leave. He took a gander at the living room. He could make some for Jesse, too. If he woke up, they could eat together. Hanzo opened the fridge, the metal handle cool in his hand. Eggs, defrosted chicken breast in a bowl, beans, bacon, orange juice, soy milk, cheese. Well, at least it looked like he was keeping himself fed. He took out the egg carton and decided to scramble the remaining 3 inside. He could also cut up and grill the chicken. If there was rice, he could make a side of rice and beans. Hanzo could also go home and grab some vegetables. He looked at the clock again. 7:06 AM.

  
He started searching for a pan and began the process of familiarizing himself with Jesse's cabinets. There was a trash can in one, boxed foods in another. He also found Jesse's wine cup rack. The pans had to be somewhere. He got down and started checking the floor-level cabinets. Empty. Rice. Baking supplies. Office supplies. Pots and pans. Bingo. He decided on a non-stick skillet and turned on the burner. Now to scout some oil, salt, and pepper. It only took him around 15 minutes from start to finish.

  
He was setting the table when he heard a thud from the living room.

  
"Goddamn!"

  
It was Jesse.

  
Jesse realized how bright it was outside and chided himself for not waking up earlier. Hanzo seemed the type to get up at 6 AM for a run before showering and heading to work. Why didn’t he wake up sooner? He was in the exact clothes he was in yesterday. Must have forgotten to change and everything. Bless his soul for falling off the couch. If he was lucky, Hanzo would still be around.

  
"Hanzo? Ya here still?"

  
Affirmative.

  
“I am, indeed, still here”.

  
Calling across the apartment made Hanzo feel domestic. It felt personal, like was something to be done between family.

  
"Good morning, Hanzo! How are ya fairing?" Jesse made an attempt to not look too disheveled. He smooth out his bedhead and made sure there wasn’t anything stuck to his beard. He took a gander at the table. It was already set. Christ. "Plates? Oh, God. Don’t tell me you made breakfast? I’m such a poor host, waking up after you and all”.  
Hanzo gave him a curt smile.

  
"Not an issue".

  
Jesse made sure to make a mental photo of that one. Hanzo went back into the kitchen to collect the frying pan. Omelette with pepper, spinach, onions, and ham. (Everything but the eggs were Hanzo’s). He also came back with toast. (Hanzo’s as well). It was simple and quick. He had a few more things to do that morning.

  
Jesse liked being fed--not because it meant he didn’t have to cook for himself, but because it felt nice. It was like someone was looking out for him. Nice and cozy. Like home. It was kind of embarrassing, truth be told. It was this when he came over to Angela’s for dinner as well. Eating home cooked meals with others felt like another tier of intimacy. Very nice. Would recommend. He eyed the food. 9/10 of it looked like it didn’t come from his fridge.

  
“Did ya go out and buy food to make this? I could pay ya back”.

  
“I got it from my kitchen and no--I only used leftovers. It doesn’t matter”.

  
Well, then.

It taste nice enough, nothing special. Eating it with Hanzo boosted it to another level, though. He took a few more bites before talking again.

  
"How'd ya sleep? I know I asked this before, but are ya sure you’re alright? I figured it would be a bit more comfortable and all if I moved ya to my bed. It was like 2 AM”.

  
"It was a thoughtful decision, I assure you. Is something the matter? Anything you want to tell me?”

  
Jesse scratched the back of his neck. If he doesn’t remember, then there’s no real use bringing it up.

  
“Just, uh, sounded like ya where having a tough time falling asleep. You were talking and sounded upset”.

  
Hanzo gave him a curious face. Not what he was looking for.

 

“How so?”

  
“We can talk about this later. Do you have to be somewhere by 8?”

  
Hanzo looked at the clock. He had 9 minutes to get dressed and leave.

  
“Thank you for having me over, Jesse. I appreciate the gesture. I guess I just lost track of time this morning”.

  
He was out in a flash, as fast as how he came in. They waved goodbye and Jesse started to clean up.

  
If Jesse was anything, it was a coward.

  
Un cobarde.

  
He could hear his mom now.

  
It was probably a bad dream and anything he heard this morning was out of context. Still, though, it made him worry. Time was trickling down and the season would change soon. He would have to leave the city--and that meant Hanzo as well. He couldn’t believe he would let so much time just slip by like that. It was March 9th. He left April 2nd this year. It felt alright before, but now it just made him anxious. He would need to tell Hanzo, but it looked near impossible now. There was no reason to worry about this. He was sure Hanzo would understand, and he was sure Hanzo would think it sensible considering how much Jesse talked about doing manual labor on the farm. It would only make sense to move back at the crack of spring. April showers were a good way to start off.

  
He remembered how scared Hanzo looked, how shaky he was.

  
It felt like he was holding a dirty secret.

  
\--

  
“Fareeha, I heard you meet up with Hanzo in the office?”

They were at a coffee shop near the building. It was lunch break and Genji took the opportunity where he could. He wanted to know more about his brother’s position. The affair was chewing him up. It was cumbersome to be in the dark.

  
“I did! We were both early as hell for a meeting. I invited him to mini-golf with my family and McCree. Thank you for escorting him home--McCree that is. He really appreciates the gesture. I can’t believe we just missed the both of you. A real shame! Hana, my daughter, she got this limited edition Marsha collectible. I’m sure she would have loved to show it off”.

  
Genji sipped at his coffee.

  
“It’s no problem. My pleasure, actually. He’s a swell of a guy. I’m glad he gets along so well with Hanzo. Sorry about Hana. I’ll see if I can book a meeting with her. She can let me know all about it”.

  
Fareeha laughed. The only meetings Hana attends were discussion panels at video game conventions.

  
“Say, it’s always a story with McCree around. I didn’t really believe he’d be able to mash with Hanzo that well, you know? But I’m glad it’s working out”.

  
“Me too”.

  
Genji threw back to the conversation he had with Jesse. A miraculous occurrence, for sure. Relationships that lasted this long were something else.  
"So, Fareeha, I must ask. Hanzo works in the same building as us?"

  
Fareeha gave him a glance.

  
"You mean you both aren't working for the same company on purpose?"

  
There’s no way. Two siblings don’t end up in the same company by accident. Well, maybe. There were a number of possibilities. There are always possibilities.  
“Kind of silly, huh? I didn't realize he was working here. Do you know when he comes in during the morning?"

  
Fareeha wasn't quite sure how to answer that one.

  
"Guessing on how early he came in for that meeting I'm assuming around 8 AM. From what information I collected, it is also safe to surmise he doesn't travel floors very often".  
Figures.

  
Genji put more sugar into his coffee.

  
"Sounds like him”.

  
He himself came in at 10 AM every morning. There's not a reason they would bump into each other unless Hanzo came in late a day where Genji was early. Especially if he didn’t travel floors. Genji tried to think of coworkers he knew that worked on different levels in the building. Not too many. It is very real to work with someone in the same office and miss their existence all together.

  
"Do you know what floor or he works on?"

  
"Marketing is 3rd floor".

  
Marketing.

Maybe Genji'd just need to stick his head in then and see how his brother was doing. Not that there was any real need. He was sure Hanzo could handle himself. What was left to decipher was why he was working here and not at home. He took a gander at his watch.

  
"Do you know how long he’s been working here?”

  
Fareeha finished the sandwich she was eating.

 

"Jesse probably knows that one”.

  
Jesse probably did.

  
He tapped his fingers against the table. Just exactly how involved was Jesse? Hanzo didn’t seem like the type to have a confidant, but he also didn’t seem like the type to date. Hanzo began receiving marriage proposals when he was around 25. They ended when he was 27. If he was dating Jesse at 25, that made it 13 years. Fuck, that was like, twice or thrice what it took to get married. Hanzo would want to know someone before dating them too. That meant they had to have known each other at an earlier age. That seemed ridiculous. Say it was a year, when Hanzo was 24. They were in Hanamura at that age, and Jesse didn’t seem the type to travel the world. They, as the Shimada brothers, also went on business trips with their father at that age. It was possible for them to have come into contact during a trip. They were frequent fliers to the United States. But it still didn’t add up. Genji remembered tell his brother about a boyfriend he had once. His brother didn’t say much, but appeared to disapprove. Cold. And not because of the dating part. The boy part. It seemed hypocritical. Maybe his theory was off altogether. Maybe they didn’t meet until later. 13 years sounded like a preposterous amount of time to hide a relationship.

  
“What are you thinking about, Gen’? Generation? Generosity?”

  
Genji seemed preoccupied with something. Maybe he was deciphering how to review his food on his blog. Fareeha speculated from the depth of the creases on his forehead.

Genji spoke.

  
“How long have you known Jesse?”

  
“Oh, a few years now. Did he tell you how Angela met up with him on his farm and he came out to her? He turns into such a mess. Angela invited him to dinner and that he could stop by whenever. She didn’t expect that he already had a house in Ellie and everything. My God”.

  
So Fareeha was a relatively new friend. Him and Hanzo go farther back with Fareeha than Jesse.

  
“Do you know how long he’s been together with Hanzo?”

  
“Well, it was news to me. It sounds like Hanzo moved in about a month and something ago, so maybe a week? I’m not sure on this one. Jesse would have told us if they started dating. He seemed really excited about meeting him”.

  
Fareeha was there when they were introduced. That means it’s only been a few years. 13 down to 2 or 3 years. That sounded more realistic. However, she also sounded like she didn’t get the memo. 2 or 3 years down to… days? Welcome to hell, Genji.

  
“How long has Jesse known him?”

  
“You seem awfully interested in their relationship. Jesse says he moved in about a month ago”.

  
A month ago.

  
A month.

  
That was around the same time Genji left.

  
He tasted his coffee and decided to swing it down.

  
“It’s been a wonderful chat with you, Fareeha”.

  
“You’re footing the bill”.

  
“With pleasure”.

  
They started walking back to the office. It was cold today too. Yikes. The wind rustled his windbreaker. Fareeha was enjoying the weather. It was cloudy. Getting dark. It was going to rain soon.

  
He sat back down at his desk and looked at the notes pinned to his corkboard. “Email Mr. Wilhelm”. “Correct number on line 24 of pricing spreadsheet G”. Easy.

  
His desk was neat. He recently invested in a kitten sticky note dispenser to match his kitten tape dispenser. Keeping it real here in the office. He had a cup full of pens that periodically went missing, but that eventually made their way back. There were files and more supplies in his drawers. He had entire drawer dedicated to legal pads. Good stuff. He liked his space. He liked it so much, in fact, that he bought himself a little cactus. Low maintenance was his favorite.

 

The security floor was a cute place.

  
He spun around in his chair.

  
There were about 30 of them on the floor. 14 were Fareeha’s, including him. Fareeha was more of a co-worker than a boss. She made sure her employees were in good social and emotional standings for work. She pep talked anyone that needed pep talking. She also handed out tasks, and all, being the boss. Genji was glad he left his previous job.  
Someone came through around the corner. A visitor. Genji wasn’t sure he recognized them. They had short, light brown hair. They had a few envelopes in their hand. Neon pink running shorts. Office-appropriate button down. Sneakers. Must be an intern of some sort. They spotted Fareeha and made their way towards her desk. Fareeha greeted them.  
“Tracer! How are you? Have anything juicy for me today?

  
“Tracer here! A pleasure, Ms. Amari or should I say Mrs. Ziegler? Wink wink”.

  
Fareeha laughed. Tracer kept talking.

  
“I absolutely do. I have one piping hot folder for you and stapled copies for your subordinates! Tootles! I have more deliveries to make, love! See you soon. Kisses to you and the lovely wife”.

  
Fareeha waved goodbye to Tracer. She was her favorite intern. Her neon shorts disappeared around the corner. Fareeha’s been trying her hardest to get her to work her magic for security, but Tracer really wanted to stick to marketing. Fareeha respected that spunk. It wasn’t too common to find someone with so much determination. Fareeha opened up the binder. The title was enough to set her off. She opened up her laptop and started looking for an empty room. She had to have a meeting right now. She scrolled down the list and found one available. Room 717 was open. Perfect. She stood up and and grabbed her things--laptop and files--with vigor.

  
"Book it to the meeting room, folks, we're starting another project! Who's heard of Lúcio Correia dos Santos? Room 717 for more details".

  
Genji's co-workers began to mumble among themselves.

  
"Lúcio? The Lúcio?"

  
"The one that dropped their album a few days a couple of months ago?"

  
"No way".

  
Genji could hardly believe it himself. Maybe Fareeha just wanted to grab their attention.

  
They all migrated to the meeting room. Fareeha logged into the desktop while her subordinates started walking in. Genji took a seat near the front. She turned on the projector with a thin, black remote. The room was silent except for the occasional shuffling of feet. The screen loaded. Fareeha was going into YouTube. Her subordinates eyed each other. She typed in "Go Heart", the name of Lúcio's latest album. After adjusting the volume, she pressed start on the album playlist. Lúcio's voice blessed their ears. They were alert. Fareeha's pulled a stunt like this before. Remember the time she put up D.Va’s livestream to catch their attention? Maybe it was like that again. She always kept them on their feet. She started passing out the copies of the project around the table. They were brief packets no more than 5 pages. "Go Heart Tour, Ellie Pavilion" was printed on the front pages with gold letters. Fareeha gave them a motion and they began to flip through.

  
"ALAM will be doing security for Lúcio's opening tour concert at Ellie City Pavilion".

  
Gasps of disbelief. A brief round of cheering.

  
"Now, before we get too excited, remember that this is just another job. We will do our best to succeed and provide for a smooth security experience". Fareeha got out a yellow highlighter. Her subordinates followed with their own highlighters of varying colors. Genji had green--a personal favorite. "Date: 03/21. Time of Show: 7:00 PM. Time of Attendee Entrance: 6:00 PM". Fareeha guided them through some more of the set times. This was going to be big. It wasn’t unusual for them to receive requests from celebrities. This, however, was another case. Their client this time was almost Beyoncé important. God tier important.

  
"Sofie, I want you to draft a spreadsheet of Pavilion contacts for the team's reference. Can you do it in 2 hours or so?”

  
"Affirmative".

  
"Prapti, I know you how much you love Google Drive. Can you set up the folders this time around?".

  
"On it, Fareeha".

  
Lúcio was actually a family friend, but that’s not someone Fareeha would ever say aloud. Hana was a huge fan. Likewise Lúcio of Hana. They decided to meet up one day when both of them were in the area. It was one of the few moments Hana decided to not livestream. Hana realized how much of a dork Lúcio was. Lúcio realized how much of a dork Hana was. They became fast friends over bubble tea and ice cream. She came home and told Fareeha and Angela all about it. She wouldn’t stop talking about it.

  
“I knew he loved frogs, but not to that extent,” she said with a couple of croutons in her mouth. Angela had talked to her about the importance of eating healthy that day. Hana ate an entire salad, but also ate an entire bag of croutons. Angela couldn’t believe she had just fueled her daughter with more unhealthy eating habits. It was a disaster.

  
Lúcio came over for dinner once. Fareeha and Angela were nervous as hell, hosting a celebrity. Then again, Hana was their child. Couldn’t say everything was a surprise, but, wow. Fareeha almost forgot she was in the middle of hosting a meeting.

  
"Thank you. I will look a closer look at the request and send an email with task distribution by the end of the day. We have 21 minus 9 days, aka 12, to make it happen. Otherwise, please wrap up loose ends on our previous engagement. Good luck and I will see if I can get some tickets for any of us Lúcio diehards. Meeting adjourned".  
Genji was glad he wasn’t the one giving out instructions anymore. He went back to his desk and eyed the cactus in the corner. Maybe one day he’d be able to step it up and lead. For now, though, he’d just have to learn from the professional.

  
Fareeha could probably get tickets through Lúcio’s manager when the time came. Otherwise, Hana could probably get a hold of some tickets. Fareeha felt cheeky for promising them so early, but she was sure someone could pull through. She’d send out a digital poll to check the demand for tickets from her team first and try to maximize from there. Easy peasy. She’d send it out before sorting through all this nonsense first--20 pages worth of requests and 30 more of terms from Lúcio’s company. It would be fun, though. She would give Hana a call, but lunch break was over. No more wasting time until later today. Bless Tracer for delivering the news. What an angel.

  
\--

  
Curiosity stopped Hanzo in the middle of his pan hunt. He took to inspecting the markings on a calendar that was half hidden by an espresso machine. It almost looked like it was hidden away on purpose, or at least that’s what Hanzo guessed with the specificity of the markings.

  
It had circles and notes on specific dates. They looked like goals or deadlines. “Confirm seed orders” was marked on the 2nd. “Perform interviews” was marked for today. “Confirm summer interns” was marked for next week. Jesse was a wonder working remotely like this. Hanzo wondered how he was able to do it. Hanzo still wasn’t sure of Jesse’s exact place on the farm due to the assortment of tasks he has to perform on a regular basis. He mentioned teaching new farm hands how to milk the goats once. Another time, he mentioned cleaning out the stables for a sick employee. But it looked like he was also helping run the place too if he was intern selecting.

  
Hanzo didn’t take too kindly to the process. He usually got flooded with direct applications, not to mention recommendations from his subordinates. It was always a mess. Interviewing them also took forever. Tracer was an immediate hire, but others, not so much. She was the best person he’s hired in so long. A tremendous help. Wonderful. Sending rejection notes was the worst part of his job. Awful. Despondent. He didn’t like it, but it was necessary to be firm. Hiring everyone that applied or was recommended would be impractical. It’s just how it worked.

  
Hanzo tried to recall if Jesse’s mentioned a location. He assumed it was close if his house was here. Maybe it was just outside the city. It certainly wasn’t in the city itself. There’s no way a farm could survive next to tall buildings and a lack of natural resources.

  
If the farm was close by, he could come over and visit. Check out how Jesse’s been living and everything. It would be nice. Hanzo flipped the page.

  
“Back again to Illinois”.

  
Hanzo read it again.

  
“Back again to dandy Illinois”.

  
He flipped back to March and then April again. Back again to Illinois? As in, Illinois the state?

  
He took out his phone. He pressed the button down and waited for Siri to load. His phone beeped.

  
“Siri, how far away is Illinois?”

  
“Springfield, Illinois is 749 miles away”.

  
Fuck.

  
“Siri, how far is Springfield, Illinois by car?”

  
“Springfield, Illinois is approximately 11 hours and 37 minutes away”.

  
Double fuck.

  
Jesse would definitely bring this up, right? Right? This calendar was hidden behind the machine for a reason, correct? Because it was dated? Maybe Hanzo should ask at breakfast, just in case. Maybe.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Office time with Hanzo and Fareeha. Hana streams. Tracer gets stopped by a mysterious woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! chapter was delayed a bit bc i spent some time planning more stuff that's going to go down! widowmaker makes an appearance towards the end. some of the fic tags will be updated accordingly since i didnt plan for her to be in here. thank u again for reading this far and supporting me. i rlly appreciate all of u!

“So, I understand that you enjoy working with animals, but what compels you to put so much of yerself into taking care of them?”

  
Interviews were rough. This was the last one before lunch and Jesse was glad. Good candidates. Clever fellas. Two more after lunch and he’d start transferring his written notes to a master document on his computer. It was going to be sunny today, not that he’d be able to enjoy it. He had on a pair of shorts that barely covered his butt and a long-sleeve button down with a tie. The shirt was white and had blue pinstripes. The tie was a white satin that had a repeating pattern of pink baby pigs. It was an outfit he saved for looking spiffy professional. He had a multimedia headset on his head. Damn, Jesse looked like an office worker. His white socks reached up a little past his ankles. The light from the outside was pouring from the window and hit his working desk. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his skin. This candidate was his favorite so far. There were a few positions available, but only 1 in the animal nursery. It was a heavily contested position. Many students applied for this specific position, overlooking others on the farm. What Jesse often had to do was deny students the nursery job, but offer them spots in other places, like the greenhouse. Oh, and then students would back out of the position after accepting. It was always a mess.

  
The interview concluded and he took the headset off. He stretched--leaning back into his chair and jutting his legs forward. He wondered if Hanzo had to sit around all day. Jesse wasn’t sure, but there were probably regulations on how many breaks he could take and when during the day. Working alone meant having full control over those things. Jesse wondered what Hanzo was doing now. Maybe negotiating something or printing something out for a board meeting. He shut his laptop and went to the kitchen. There wasn’t much except macaroni and cheese. His mother would chide him for living like this. He’d need to stop by the grocery store later. He scoped his phone on one of the counters. He turned it on. 11:59AM. Just his luck. It was about time he speed dialed Hanzo for the day.

  
Ring.

  
Ring.

  
Ring.

  
Nothing.

  
Maybe Hanzo was busy. His phone went off the moment the minute changed. The time was now 12:00 PM. Jesse pressed answer.

  
“Hello? Jesse? What do you wish to speak of?”

 

Jesse grinned and leaned on the counter. “Guess what time it is!”

  
Hanzo gave him a curt response. “Jesse, it’s lunch time. Lunch time starts promptly at 12 P”--

  
“It’s HIGH noon!”

  
Jesse’s laughter reverberated through the speaker. Hanzo sighed into his cellphone. Break time always started at 12 PM. He didn’t understand what was so interesting about 12 PM. It was a time like any other. Jesse’s called him before to make the same joke. He wondered why it was one worth repeating.

  
Tracer peeked into his office. Right on the dot, as usual. “Taking a break, boss! Be right back!”

  
Hanzo gave her a nod. “Understood. Have fun”.

  
She left.

  
Jesse caught a bit of the exchange. Hanzo was at an office, after all. Made sense of other people were around. “Who was that, sweet pea?”  
“An intern of mine. She likes to be called Tracer”.

  
“Likes to be called? Is there really another option if someone wants be called a certain name?”

  
Hanzo gave a good second to that one.

  
“No?”

  
There wasn’t an option. Hanzo started again.

  
“Her name is Tracer”.

  
“Sounds speedy. Do you like her as an intern?”

  
Tracer was a continuous beam of sunshine. She was always smiling and chatting up her coworkers. She worked hard and enjoyed the occasional interbuilding delivery. She also enjoyed playing soft music at her desk whenever she had to sit down and do something. The liveliness of the floor went up an approximate 50% whenever she was in.  
“I like Tracer very much. I will have a hard time replacing her unless I offer her a permanent position”.

  
Now that was news. “Do ya like ‘er much as ya like me?”

  
Hanzo almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Jesse, you have an interesting sense of self worth if you are seriously comparing yourself to a coworker of mine. Me liking you and me liking Tracer are two different things. You are both are different people. I like you as you, Tracer as Tracer”.

  
Jesse gave a low whistle.

  
“You mean to tell me ya don’t pick favorites?”

  
Hanzo removed his phone from his ear for a second and looked at the screen. He looked at the name displayed in white--Jesse McCree. He exhaled and put the phone back up to his ear. “I enjoy my time with you, if that was what you are baiting for me to admit. Do you want to speak of anything else?”

  
“Nah, just called to hear you for a bit. Kisses. See ya”.

  
Hanzo ended the call. Kisses indeed. He involuntarily touched his cheek.

  
He must be such a pain in the ass to deal with. He wondered why Jesse still liked him.

  
“Because Jesse doesn’t know you’re an asshole”, he thought.

  
As it should be. This was Hanzo’s problem and no one else’s. Jesse was gay. Or bi. Pan. Something. Jesse was also specifically interested in him. It was fine. Perfectly fine. But he couldn't shake off a certain feeling that it wasn’t. What would his father say? Irrelevant. What would Genji say? Genji’s already expressed it was “cool beans”. What would the rest of his extended family say? Irrelevant. Coworkers? Irrelevant. Dating was a pathway to marriage. If it went well, they would eventually get married. Would he have to change his name? Was that the source of anxiety? No. He just had a feeling. Maybe if he spent less time thinking through and more time acting, it’d stop to bother him.

  
He heard the door open again. Tracer stepped through, this time with two cups of coffee in her hand. That was certainly a small break. She gave him a smile and took a seat in front of his desk. She took one of the cups to her mouth. She put the other one in front of him.

  
“For one Mr. Shimada”.

  
Hanzo eyed the cup. It had Tracer’s name scrawled on the side with a black felt pen. There were also a few letters that were most likely short script for the order. He looked at Tracer. She continued to sip from her cup. He looked at the cup. The medium size he didn’t know the name to. He didn’t frequent Starbucks enough to know.

  
“It won’t come out and bit you, I swear. It’s regular coffee”.

  
Hesitating, Hanzo took the cup and brought it closer to his face for a sniff. It certainly smelled like coffee. He took a peek at the inside. It certainly looked like coffee. He blew into it and a little steam escaped the cup. He took a taste. It certainly tasted like coffee. That and sugar, milk, and foam. Quite the treat.

  
“Do you want a favor from me, Tracer? You certainly did not have to bring me a drink to do so. I would be quite happy to oblige you”.

  
Tracer shook her head. “No, no, just wanted to ask a question”.

  
How curious. He continued sipping his drink. It was very warm.

  
Tracer continued. “How much do you like Lúcio?”

  
Lúcio-- as in Lúcio Correias dos Santos?

  
“Lúcio, Lúcio? As much as anyone else. He is very talented and I appreciate how he uses his platform for social justice”.

  
Lúcio is a very impressive celebrity, starting from the bottom up. He was a real success story, rising from poverty into acclaimed fame. The struggles he must have faced attempting to gain the support of his community, the hours he must have spent practicing by himself with limited resources. It was a story he could appreciate, alright. Hanzo himself would never know what that was like. The real question here was who didn’t like Lúcio? He is a charismatic individual and makes sure his concert tickets are accessible to his numerous fans. He adopts animals and supports charities that further the educational resources provided to children. He has very nice hair. There was no way anyone could dislike Lúcio.

  
“Great to hear it, love. Just asking for Ms. Amari from Security. She mentioned wanting to speak with you in her office. She’ll be off in”--Tracer checked the watch on her wrist. Neon purple. “13 minutes and 29 seconds”.

  
Hanzo wondered what this could be, but thanked Tracer none-the-less.

  
“Thank you for relaying the information, Tracer”.

  
“Aw, geez”. Tracer chuckled in her seat. “My pleasure. Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be out to take my real break now”.

  
“Goodbye. Thank you again for stopping by”.

  
“Tootles!”

  
Tracer shut the door behind her.

  
He was left again in the comfort of his own office. There was not much personalization going, despite the amount of space available. There was a calendar on the wall filled with marks. There were ready-to-reach office supplies on the right side of his desk, like staples and tape. On the left, stack of folders. There was a clock that was already in the room when he moved in. The shelves were lined with binders of previous marketing projects. His table was mahogany. The chair he was in was the soft and ergonomic kind. Maybe he could change the curtains. It wouldn’t do anything to change the effectiveness of his leadership. There was no need.

  
He reached into his backpack and took out a lunchbox he purchased at a store before arriving on the scene. He opened the lid and began to eat alone.

  
Kisses indeed.

  
Jesse sent him kisses over the phone.

  
\--

  
“Hanzo! Just the man I wanted to see at this very moment. I take it Tracer told you to pop in for a brief visit”.

  
Hanzo took a seat. “She did. Tracer also did not waste any time going on her lunch break. She rounded up a few coworkers to go with her”.

  
Fareeha laughed. Typical Tracer. “Would you let me borrow her for a day or two? I would love to have her around for planning”.

  
Hanzo tried his best not to look offended.

  
Fareeha smirked. “I’m joking. I would never try to steal one of your employees. Besides, she loves working for you. Says you’re the best. She wouldn’t transfer if I begged”.  
They were in her office. Hanzo was drinking another cup of coffee--this time offered by Fareeha. It tasted like it came out of a Keurig machine. Fun fact--there was a Keurig coffee maker on the 3rd floor as well. Hanzo would know. He was a frequent visitor. Maybe too frequent, but that was not relevant. If there was a Keurig machine on this floor, there may as well be a Keurig machine on every floor. There was one by reception too. He’d just have to floor hop one day to check it out.

  
“I don’t know how much Tracer told you, but we’ve been hired to do security for a very special person’s opening concert”.

  
Hanzo gave her a nod. “Lúcio’s”.

  
“Lúci-oh. It appears you’ve heard. I’m very excited for this one. Did you know he’s one of Hana’s friends? We’ve had him over for dinner before”.

  
Hanzo thought about how dinner at Fareeha’s was a popular spot in this social circle. First Jesse, now Lúcio. Whom else? It was only a matter of time before he himself was invited.

  
Hanzo heard of Hana before meeting her. It is hard to miss her when her face occasionally makes its way onto bags of spicy chips and green soda. He did not know any information other than she was good at games. Specifically, video games. Her popularity among celebrities made sense. Rising to fame was no joke. Of course, if Hana was popular enough for her face to appear on marketed goods, she was not to be taken lightly. Jesse really must have lucked out meeting Angela. A successful doctor, an excellent manager, and a famous child. Quite the family to be associated with.

  
Hanzo stopped to think about Hana’s college arrangements. Playing games seemed like an interesting source of income. There’s no reason why Hana would not be able to pursue higher education while gaming. Hanzo tried to recall any chatter of her educational arrangements. None. Maybe she was taking a year off. She was 19, correct? College age. And already so famous that she’s brought home Lúcio for dinner?

  
“That’s quite the news. I congratulate you on receiving this project”.

  
“Thank you, but that is not exactly why I called you up”.

  
He was lost, to say the least. He did not know where this was going. Maybe this was not a business related call at all and Fareeha just wanted to say hello. Sure didn’t seem like it, though. If Fareeha wanted to meet up for personal matters, she could have called him and scheduled an outside-of-work meeting. But they weren’t in a restaurant. They were in her office.

  
Fareeha made eye-contact. Hanzo wouldn’t have to wait long to hear her proposal, whatever it entailed.

  
She sounded smooth. “I want marketing’s assistance”.

  
“With the concert project? May I know more concerning what you wish to achieve in asking for our aid?”

  
Fareeha gave him a nod and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. “It’ very simple. Lúcio specifically requested that there be posters and cards with charity information available at the concert. Thing is, his manager forgot until Lúcio reminded them this morning. They need everything in 5 days before show time, which is on the 21st. They also requested setup information so they know where to place or how to handout everything. You have an entire week. If you squeeze for more time, you could get an extra day or two. I was having a phone call with Lúcio’s manager earlier. They wanted to keep the charity deal private, and appear to want special transportation for the posters. They also asked me if I could give them a recommendation for the task. Can you believe it? It’s silly if you ask me, but coordinating with you would be easier than coordinating with a printing company. We have a lot to do in a small amount of time, and your assistance would facilitate this process”.

  
Hanzo took another sip of his coffee. Cinnamon, milk, and sugar.

  
“You will be reimbursed for your job, and besides, Hanzo, it will be like old times”. Fareeha wore an earnest smile. “You are also under no obligation to comply! Just putting it out there. The task isn’t too big, either. Perfect to undertake if you and your kids are otherwise unoccupied”.

  
“Kids?”

  
“Subordinates”.

  
There wasn’t anything pressing marketing had to take care of within the next 7 days. It would be an easy project, and they would be working for Lúcio of all people. Fareeha did get him a drink and all, not that it was any sort of equivalent exchange for taking on this job. He wondered how his subordinates would react to having an irregular job. He weighed it against telling his subordinates, his kids, that their prints and designs would be displayed at Lúcio’s opening concert. It would add more to their workload, for sure. He would need to talk to Lúcio’s manager about dimensions, color scheme, and budget. But this would also be fun. It was a unique opportunity. Looks like the pros outweighed the cons here. It wouldn’t even be a problem.

  
“Fareeha, sounds great. Can I request Lúcio’s manager’s contact information?”

  
“Hanzo, you’re an angel. Give me a moment please”.

  
She took out a pen and pulled out an orange sticky note from her dispenser. The note dispenser was in the shape of a camera. Maybe he should invest in a dispenser that had a cute shape. He’d need to hit up the office supply store. Fareeha jotted an email and a phone number down along with the word “confidential”.

  
“You’re the best. I need to run out and feed myself before my break is over. Thank you again for meeting with me. I can escort you down”.

  
Hanzo nodded. Another day, another transaction. Fareeha handed him the note. Hanzo put it in his shirt pocket for easy access.

  
\--

  
Hana turned on her wireless headset and clicked on the stream window. She pressed start. Her fans started cheering in the chat box.

  
"Who's ready for another episode of D.Va's Den?"

  
The chat box filled up with positive reactions.

  
"Let's start off with a bang. Today, we have a special guest on set. Who's ready to play a round of D.Va Description? The first responder to correctly guess our guest will win an entire box of D.Va Doritos. That’s right, a 20 count box. You can buy them at your local grocery store, folks. Thank you for anyone that has recently made a purchase, you keep me alive. The winner will be contacted through PM, as per usual. I will need your address and name. Shipping will be paid for. You need to be at least 18 or have parental permission. Those are the rules. Now, get ready, I'm going to set a timer for 120 seconds. Your clue is the following: sweet frog. I repeat, your clue is the following: sweet frog. Let the timer begin".

  
A little pink firework went off on the top left corner. It revealed a timer that was now counting down. The responses started pouring in. Hana started reading aloud some of her favorites.

  
"Kanye West? Interesting guess, soldier77. I wonder how you came up with that one. The CEO of the ice cream company, Sweet Frog? Guess again, iloveana. I’m not currently affiliated with them. Wink, wink. A large gummy in the shape of a frog? I'm not going for a repeat this time, intotheiris05".

  
The responses kept coming at a manageable rate. "60 seconds left. Since none of you are guessing in the right ballpark, I will hand out another clue. Clue number 2: they have showed up on my show before".

  
The activity rose in the chat box. Hana stopped the timer. "And we have a winner! Congratulations DIEx3! How do you read that, anyways? Die, die, die? What an interesting name”.

  
Hana motioned for Lúcio to come out of the corner and into the chair next to her.

  
"Please give a warm welcome to none other than Lúcio Correias dos Santos!"

  
Lúcio walked over and gave Hana a hug on screen. He took a seat and waved to the camera. “Hello, hello, hello! Lúci-oh, it’s Lúcio!”

  
Hana gave a big smile. The comments in the chat box went wild. The viewer counter started to increase. “That’s right, folks. Get it while it’s hot. Hello, Lúcio. How are you doing this fine evening in the D.Va residence?”

  
“Very good, D.Va. Your mother makes an excellent quiche”. Lúcio turned back to the camera. “So excellent, in fact, that I couldn’t resist having 3 slices”.

  
Hana laughed. Someone in the chat asked which one. Someone else replied probably the organized one, Angela.

  
“I can’t believe you all would fry my mother like this”.

 

 **Juicyturret** : “Hana’s moms are too good for this nonsense”.

 

Lúcio gave a nod and started snapping. “Snaps to Juicyturret, y’all”.

 

 **DIEx3:** *snaps* love ur moms  
**iloveana:** *snaps in2 the next dimension*  
**luci0000H:** u go Juicyturret

 

Hana fished out a couple of game controllers from her desk and plugged them into the computer. “Now that we’re all settled in, I’d like to open up by saying since Lúcio is pretty bad at first person shooters, we’ve decided to kick it back and relax”.

  
“Chillax and have a dorite”.

 

“Like Lúcio said, we’re about to chillax and have some dorites. We’re going to play a good game of 2-player frogger. WHO is ready for this?”

  
Hana’s viewers started laughing. She smirked at the camera. “Any announcements before we get this started, frog boy?”

  
Lúcio held the controller in his hand. “I’d like to thank everyone that is here to support D.Va, everyone that is here to support me, and everyone that is here to see my butt get kicked live yet again”.

  
Hana hollered. “Let the games begin!”

  
And the games began.

  
\--

  
Tracer was pulled over by a woman in a purple hoodie and black workout leggings. She had a burgundy visor and was sporting a high ponytail. Her eyeliner was sharp as a needle. The woman had swagger. She was tall, confident, and unafraid to impose. The woman was a walking divorce paper--merciless and formal. It was intimidating to inhabit the same space as her.

  
“Excuse me, do you know where the ALAM Corporation building is? I am having a hard time locating it”.

  
Tracer spotted the manilla folder in her hand. Whomever she was, she was not a simple tourist. “Making a delivery to ALAM, love? I can take care of that for you”.

  
The woman gave her a glare of disapproval. “This is sensitive material and I was ordered to only hand it to the designated recipient”.

Tracer put her hands on her hips. Yeah, that made sense. “I see, I see. Follow me this way, then. Cheers! You were going in the right direction”.

  
They started walking down the street. Curious. Tracer’s never seen her before. Maybe she was new to the area or didn’t deliver often. Tracer had a ways of networking with other delivery people. She would know.

  
“Can I get your name? My friends call me Tracer”.

  
“Amélie”.

  
French sounding. It matched the woman’s french accent.

  
“Do you work around here?”

  
“I took a cab and they dropped me off about half a mile from here, saying the building was out of range. Why?”

  
She couldn’t figure out why Amélie was being so cautious, but respected her reaction. There was no need to stick her nose into something she shouldn’t. “No, no. No reason at all. I just like to think I know all the delivery people around here.That’s some rubbish if your driver dropped you off before reaching the building”.  
Amélie looked stern. “I am not a delivery person”.

  
She could have fooled anyone. They both looked like they were about to do an after-lunch 5k. Maybe powerwalk with some light weights in their hands. Tracer stopped herself before saying anything funny. Hey, that was not the way to talk to someone new. The building was a few blocks away on their left. They would get there in no time. 4 minutes was nothing.

  
“What place sent you out all the way here? Must not be close”.

  
Amélie scoffed. “I’ve told you too much already. Just help me get to the building and go on your way”.

  
Hm. How was mentioning taking a cab too much? Tracer couldn’t figure it out. Sensitive document perhaps? Whatever it was, though, was bound to have a return address or something that indicated the sender. There was no need to conceal where it came from. “If you can tell me the floor, I can give you clearance to the elevator without having to go to the reception desk”.

  
Amélie scrunched her eyebrows together. “Do you work for ALAM?”

  
“Yeah!”

  
Amélie would make a mental note of that one. Just her luck.

  
“Are you familiar with Hanzo Shimada?”

  
Tracer gave her a nod. “I’m interning at his office, actually”.

  
Amélie smirked and shoved the folder into Tracer’s shoulder. “My gift to you, then”.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unprecedented use of office time. Jesse's sorry excuse for a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, hello! it's update time here on fight or flight. today we have guest appearances by mei, symmetra, and zarya. tags will be updated appropriately. hope u like this one! formatting may look a little off since im using rich text this time.

Tracer looked at the yellow envelope. Her boss' name was printed on the front along with his office number and the building address. It felt like there was a packet inside. Tracer could only imagine the contents, being handed the package by such a mysterious woman. There was no return address. Then again, it was made to be hand-delivered. There didn't need to be a return address or postage for that matter. Tracer wiggled her toes in her shoes. It was too peculiar. Whatever was inside had to be urgent and therefore important for someone to come from out of town.   
The elevator pinged and the doors opened. Tracer stepped inside and waved to a few familiar faces. She claimed a spot to the right, near the number pad. Tracer punched the key to her respective floor and it lit orange.   
Hanzo Shimada. Not a very common last name. He was probably related to whomever ran the Shimada Company, LLS, not that Tracer was rude enough to ask. She debated coming into his office and asking in private at least once a week. Who ran the Company anyways? Maybe if she asked around she could get a response.    
Tracer patted her shirt pocket for her phone.   
Goddamn it, Tracer. How long has the Internet existed again? All that time, wasted.   
The elevator pinged again. Not her floor.   
She took it out of her pocket and felt the cool, plastic case in her hand. She pushed one of her fingers on the home button to unlock it fingerprint style. Tracer blew some strands of hair out of her face. She was the student in her classes to send Facebook requests to her professors and invite them to student gatherings through instant message. She couldn't believe she let this one slip by so fast. Google search opened up and she tapped on the search bar. "Ceo of shimada company lls".   
The results were in in a flash. There was a little photo along with a name. Not Hanzo. Tracer wasn't sure why she worried about it. Even if he was, there was no way he'd be at a different company. Especially if he was the acting CEO. Hanzo was good, but he wasn't good enough to handle two full time jobs. Not to brag but she was part of the reason the place ran so smoothly. Pun intended. Running was one of her many passions.   
The elevator beeped again and she stepped out. The air conditioning hit her legs. Maybe Hanzo had a wiki page. Tracer paused in her tracks and just searched his name. Bingo. She clicked on the first link. A recent photograph of Hanzo showed up on the screen. Definitely him.   
  
Hanzo Shimada    
Age: 38   
Gender: Male   
Family: Jiro Shimada (father, deceased)   
Naoki Shimada (mother, divorced)   
Genji Shimada ( younger brother)   
Hanzo Shimada used to be a division head working for the Shimada Company, LLS. He worked in a pair with his brother, Genji Shimada. Hanzo is a successful businessman, assuming the family business after his father's death. Hanzo is the current acting CEO. In his spare time, Hanzo enjoys archery and painting.

 

Well, that was conflicting, to say the least. Hanzo’s never mentioned a thing about painting. Tracer put her phone in her pocket and kept walking. Maybe it was a different Hanzo Shimada. Hanzo’s twin, Hanzo, that looked exactly like Hanzo, but wasn’t. Easy to miss.

Tracer turned the corner and stepped into the office. What the fuck? Chill it, Oxton. Who that in the photo just now? Not Hanzo. Maybe this article was edited as a joke. Wasn’t Genji the green-haired one that worked on Ms. Amari’s floor? Yeah. That was probably it. There’s no way he was a part of the business either. It was too big. They wouldn’t let someone so frivolous on the job. She stopped worry about it. Whatever the case, it wasn’t any of her business. Pun intended. It definitely wasn’t Hanzo’s either. Or Genji’s for that matter.

She dropped the envelope off in Hanzo’s drop-off bin and retreated to her desk. Genji was there. He looked over and greeted.

“Tracer! Hello”.

Tracer waved back. “Hello, love. Didn’t I just see you? What brings you all the way down here?”

“I came to see my brother. Do you know where he is? It’s sort of urgent”.

“Yeah, reckon he’s still up at Ms. Amari’s!”

Genji sighed. “I can’t believe I just wasted like 20 minutes staking out on this floor”.

“He’ll be back soon. I can page him for you?”

“No, no. It’s fine, Tracer”. Genji paused. “Page him?”

Tracer felt around her waist and snapped a small pager from her shorts elastic. “They’re as cute as a button. They’re only one-way, though. I can send him a message but can’t receive any replies. Sounds good to you?”

Genji combed the hair out of his face with his fingers. “It wouldn’t hurt, I suppose”.

“Great. I’ll message him right now and you can wait in front of his office door. I’ll be at my desk if you need anything else”.

Genji thanked her again and went to wait in front of Hanzo’s door. A wonderful door. Glass. He looked inside and saw numerous office supplies and an unpersonalized space. Hanzo was always the boring one. There was a plaque on the table with Hanzo’s name on it. A desk supply cup. Didn’t beat the level of his kitten tape dispenser, that’s for sure. Genji didn’t understand how Hanzo stood being so bland.

Tracer was right, it was a minute before Hanzo arrived on the scene. Tracer’s guestimates would become a currency if her work became interdepartmental. She just knew when things happened. Hanzo was transferring the contents of the sticky note to his phone when he realized who stood outside his door. Genji’s green hair was a red flag. Couldn’t miss it.

Hanzo managed a curt nod. “Genji. Let us take this inside”.

He wanted to ask how Genji found the location to his office, why exactly he was here, and who gave him the information. He also wanted to ask how many sweatbands he owned and why he was wearing one right now, but that was another matter altogether.

“Nice to see you too”.

Hanzo grabbed the documents in his drop-off bin and opened the door. They went inside. Hanzo offered some tea that was declined. He pulled up a seat for Genji and went back to his rotating office chair. They sat in silence until Hanzo figured out what to ask.

“How do you always manage to find me?”

Genji smiled. “You’re not that hard to find. I was here first”.

Hanzo paused. That was news to him. “Since when?”

“Since before you. When the hell did you manage to get a job here, anyways?”

“A bit shy of a month and two weeks?”

“Good fucking hell, bro. How do you, Hanzo, always manage to find me?” Genji couldn’t believe it. “Aren’t you the CEO? How are you managing this job?”

Hanzo gave Genji a grim smile. He looked over and made sure that the door was closed before speaking again.  “No, this is my only job”.

“What?”

Hanzo took a quick peek at the schedule for today. There were things that needed doing, especially now that he would have to squeeze in that favor. It wasn’t the appropriate time to be having this conversation, that’s for sure. He shouldn’t be using office time for personal matters. He was essentially paying himself for this. Maybe he’d put in some overtime. No--there were restrictions on employees, deeming it necessary for them to log all of the time they spent working. He could put in some time remotely to make up for this.

He couldn’t believe he stumbled straight into Genji’s nest. Did it ever occur to him to check the staff directory? No. Why would Genji be here for all places? That’s why. This was ridiculous, like everything else with which Genji was involved. Just Hanzo’s luck.

“There was no public announcement. The official story is me taking a vacation, but I fully plan to leave the business behind. I am a man filled with guilt, Genji”.

“Guilt doesn’t mean you should leave the business behind altogether. What would father say?”

“Father is dead and his approval means nothing. He was a successful entrepreneur but hasty and did not value his family. There is a reason why we have not spoken to mother in years. We do not even know if she remarried and had more children. We could have siblings we don’t know about, Genji. She left us and has an entirely different life now”.

Genji scratched the back of his head. They were 3 years apart. That might not seem like anything now, but it was a lot when they were children. Hanzo was with mom 3 more years than him. She was a ghost. Genji remembers hugging her calf and the warmth of being in her arms, but that was it. There were a few photos of her back home, but he wouldn’t remember her face otherwise. She left when he was around 4, meaning Hanzo was 7. Their mother was replaced with a live-in caretaker. He didn’t think much about it. He was too young to care. Hanzo wasn’t. This wasn’t a conversation he imagined ever having with his sibling. Hanzo probably cried a lot and whinned to their father concerning mom’s disappearance. 4 was too young to remember. He remembers asking their father when he was 12 about mom. A curt response. “It doesn’t matter”.

“You left because of mom?”

Hanzo sighed. This was not a conversation they should be having in his office. Definitely not during work hours, either. “No, no. Driving you out of your job stressed me. I did not want to work anymore. And then maybe mother. There was a lot going on. I left”.

Genji nodded. “Hey, now. Taking care of yourself is nothing to be ashamed about”.

“I do not like the feeling of being comforted by someone I hurt. As you say, please step off”.

Genji laughed. “Hanzo, what is done is done. I like it here, you know? More than the other place. Everyone looked at us strange, like they were expecting us to fill the roles of fortunate heirs around the clock. It’s nicer here. No harsh expectations to climb the corporate ladder by proving ourselves as fast as possible. You know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s better this way”.

Maybe it was. Hanzo started going through the envelopes and found the large one with his name and address on it. Outside mail? No postage or return address. Hand delivered. He took the contents out and Genji stopped him before he could read past the company logo. The Shimada Company, LLS.

“This is nice and all, but moping around with you isn’t what I came for”.

Hanzo gave him a curious face. What was going on? Genji continued.

“I got the same summoning request. We’re being called back to the Company to take action on the ownership. The person acting in as CEO is getting cranky”.

Hanzo flipped the cover page and skimmed the contents. “Looks like I’ll be co-signing with you again then, Genji. A pleasure”.

Woo-hoo. “The Shimada sibs are back in town! What would mom say?”

“Hanzo, you cause unnecessary drama wherever you go”.

Genji laughed.

Hanzo smiled.

“This is a big decision, though. Are you sure you don’t want the company?”

“I’m sure there are more qualified than I to run the business. We could always join the board of directors”.

“But do you really want to do that?”

“No”.

More laughing.

Hanzo took a moment to think. This was a decision indeed. He had been brought up for the purpose of inheriting his father’s work. Throwing the business away would also mean that years of school cramming and attending board meetings with his father would go to waste. There were specifics about the way the company worked, about the vision and the values. Hanzo’s entire life revolved around the LLS, but maybe leaving it behind could set him free. He could focus on developing hobbies if he had a smaller job. What was the appropriate road to forgiveness?

“What do you want me to do?”

Genji gave him a look. “It’s up to you. I’ll trust your judgement. I think we’re more comfortable away from the LLS than in, but, eh. It’s not a decision you have to make now. The paper says next week”.

Hanzo gave him a nod. “I will update you, then”.

Genji stuck his hand out for a handshake. Hanzo, after hesitating, met Genji’s with his own.

“One last question before you leave. Genji, how did you find my office?”

Genji gave him a curious look. “Fareeha. Jesse. Tracer”.

Looks like Hanzo was ratted out for the best.

\--

7:12PM

Jesse McCree

hey hanzo meet me in the ice cream store 2 blocks away. mei’s. u know the 1 right

 

Hanzo looked at his phone. He typed a reply.

 

7:12PM

Hanzo Shimada

Yes. I can meet you there in a moment. What is the occasion?

 

His phone beeped.

 

7:13PM

Jesse McCree

pls get over here!!!!

 

Sounded urgent. Hanzo was out in a flash.

It was dark outside save the street lamps and the couple of stores still open. The sidewalk was splashed with blues and reds and oranges from the neon signs. He knew the area immediately around the apartment complex. There were a few restaurants and some clothes shops. They were in a busy part of town. Hanzo enjoyed it most of the time. On one hand, there was immediate access to food. On the other, there would be nights where the was so much noise coming from outside, he couldn’t fall asleep. Those nights were the weekends where the young and the restless came to have a good time. Jesse mentioned it once, but apparently it got worse as the weather warmed. There would be festivals and the swarms would come out. Regardless, Mei’s Ice was an ice cream shop. Not much of a party, but a quaint attraction.

Hanzo wondered what was going on. Who would want ice cream at 7 PM on a weekday? He kept walking. The sidewalk had a few small groups people here and there, but no crowds. It was peaceful. He felt the chill air on his skin. He didn’t think to bring a sweater. It was nice, just walking outside out of his own free will. No one could stop him from turning the corner or staying up late. No one would recognize him here, or if they did, probably wouldn’t call him out on it. Hanzo made it to Mei’s Ice. The sign said closed but the lights were on. He rapped the glass door. No answer.

 

7:20 PM

Hanzo Shimada

I’m outside of Mei’s Ice.

 

He heard movement. Someone was coming from inside the store. Jesse greeted him as soon as their eyes met. Hanzo stepped inside. Jesse was wearing a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was also wearing a pair of jeans and some saddle shoes. Jesse also had a belt buckle on. It was rectangular and a rose gold. It had two deers on it--a small one and a large one. Hanzo remembers it. It was in Jesse’s bathroom.

“Hanzo”.

Hanzo looked up from Jesse’s belt buckle. “Your deer are quite intriguing”.

“I am pleased yer enjoying staring at my deer”.

Hanzo placed his hand on Jesse’s shoulder. “I did not mean anything suggestive. My apologies”.

Jesse smiled. “I certainly did. No problem”.

Hanzo let go.

Jesse led them on to the seated area. There were groups of people hovering around the store. Jesse led Hanzo to the middle table, where there were 3 people seated in a semi-circle. The first one looked kind. She had her hair pinned in a bun. She was wearing a blue t-shirt and a white tennis skirt. Another, with her hair down, donned a teal Salwar Kameez. Her nails were an icy, light blue. Her manicure was perfect. The third and final individual was muscular. She had highlighter pink hair and looked like she could lift a literal ton without a sweat. Visually, an interesting bunch.

“Hello, I’m Mei”. The woman motioned to the individual next to her. “This is Satya”. She motioned to the one over. “This is Aleksandra. Welcome to our biweekly ice cream social!”

Satya intervened. Her voice was calm and calculating. “We welcome you with open arms. Jesse has told us much about you, and we are excited to receive you. Your entry fee has been paid in full”.

Hanzo gave Jesse a look. Entry fee?

“It was $3 to cover materials but if ya want to pay me back, that’s fine”.

Hanzo would need to make a note of that.

Aleksandra laughed. Her laugh was strong and full. “We’ve set up quite the challenge this time. We’re asking people to make ice cream using the materials we’ve set out. There are basic instructions available on the counter to the right. Ice cream shakers only! You are not allowed to use any other ice cream making device for this challenge. The group that comes up with the best ice cream by the end of the night will receive a prize. There will also be a runner up”.

Hanzo looked over. There were milk jugs in ice bowls on the serving counter. There were different types of sugars on one of the tables. There were egg trays on another. Heavy cream. Whipping cream. Butter? Different types of fruits. Hanzo looked back at Jesse.

“Want to try it?”

He was already here. “Time to have fun. Expect nothing less”.

Zarya got up only to give Jesse a whack in the shoulder. It hurt like a dog, but Jesse tried not to say anything. “Have fun, both of you. Welcome again, Hanzo!”

Hanzo and Jesse walked over to where a set of basic instructions were printed. They also took a measuring cup kit from the basket. There were two steps: mix the ingredients together and start shaking in the ice cream shaker. There were small pockets of people in several stages of progression. Some were choosing what to mix into their ice cream before putting it in the shaker. Some were tossing the shaker around. Some were just putting their mixtures in the shaker.

“Have you attended one of these socials before?”

Jesse gave him a nod. “Yeah, we usually don’t do this though. We typically all gather around and talk about our weeks over free ice cream. I definitely wanted you to come to this one, though. I thought you could use a bit of a destresser”.

Did it look like he was stressing out about something? They took a small bowl and poured in some half-and-half. The container was cold against Hanzo’s fingers. He poured while Jesse measured. It didn’t require much effort. The recipe called for scanty amounts of a few different ingredients. It only took a minute or two to put in the basic, recipe called for items in the bowl. Jesse mixed with the teaspoon measuring cup. Hanzo wondered if there were any actual spoons available. If the purpose of this activity was to be relaxing, it was living up to expectations. That was, until, they weren’t sure what to do next.

“If we start shaking this as is, it is going to taste like milk”.

Jesse licked his lips. Milk flavored ice cream sounded dull. They made their way to the table with fruit. “We could cut up some strawberries”.

Hanzo shook his head. “It would then be milk ice cream with strawberry chunks”.

“That doesn’t sound too bad”.

“It is too plain. Milk ice cream is plain”.

He was right. He spotted a few condiments on the sugar table. “Let’s go look over there”.

They looked over there. There was cinnamon, mint leaves, coriander, pepper, salt, along with a bunch of other small bottles. Did Mei really use all this stuff when making ice cream? How did she know which ones to use and which ones to not use? Jesse opened the lid of one labelled juniper and sniffed the continents. That did not belong in their mixture. Hanzo caught on and put the bowl down on the table. He flipped the lid of marjoram and smelled. They went on for a bit, sharing some of their finds, moving the spices around, organizing them into groups. Hanzo smelled another one and decided to put it next to the cumin. The maybe group. Finally, after quite a bit of deliberation, Hanzo and Jesse decided to put a healthy amount of cinnamon into their mixture. Hanzo tried it. Jesse tried it. Any more and it would taste peppery. They decided to add an extra teaspoon of sugar, deciding that it would not mess up the chemistry of the ice cream.

“Cinnamon ice cream with strawberry chunks?”

“What if we added strawberry preserves instead of actual strawberries?”

Jesse replied after thinking for a moment. “It would mix in while we shake the ice cream sphere and we would have cinnamon-strawberry”.

Not what they were aiming for. Jesse made a suggestion.

“What if we added something else other than cinnamon?”

“What is your idea?”

There ice cream would have to make a statement. “Guava”.

Hanzo gave him an eyeful. “Guava?”

Jesse nodded. “Guava”.

Why not. They made it over to where the fruit were laid out. Strawberries, blueberries, passionfruit, kiwi, lychee, etc. Not a single guava to be found. If there wasn’t a fresh one, then maybe it was elsewhere. Jesse and Hanzo checked out the fruit preservatives. There were an assorted number of small containers with pastes and jams. Jesse picked up a small cylinder. Its packaging was blue and white. There was a photo of a brown substance on the cover, under the logo. It looked like a condensed paste of some sort.

“Is that guava? Why does it say ‘guayava’?”

“That’s how you say guava in Spanish”.

Ah. “How do you pronounce it”.

“Like you just did”. Jesse spoke, this time with a noticeable accent. “Guayava”.

It sent a small ping through Hanzo’s ear. It sounded nice to hear Jesse speak in Spanish. Something different. Hanzo new some due to travel and business, but he never picked up the language like he did English and Korean. He almost regretted it for if he did, maybe he wouldn’t need to ask Jesse silly questions on pronunciation.

Jesse continued. “It’s in paste form, so we can squish it a bit before putting it in and then try our best to dissolve it. Not too sure how well it’ll go, but it’s worth a try”.

“Very well. Let us give it a try”.

They cut a slice of the paste and Jesse smashed it with the knife before putting it into the bowl. Hanzo took a shot at stirring and found that the paste just started to clump. It was foolish to believe it would have worked, anyways. The paste was too solid.

Deciding it was fine enough, that they were here to have fun by trying something new, they moved on to the ice cream shaker portion of the evening. They settled for the green one with a rubbery layer on the outside. Hanzo filled the ice chamber with crushed ice, some salt, and some water. Jesse poured their cinnamon-guava paste mixture into the shaker. He then sealed it by closing the lid.

“How long do we shake it for?” Hanzo doubted that the little contraption could produce ice cream.

“The instructions that are on the table say ‘shake vigorously for 8 minutes’. I’m not sure what defines vigorous, but let’s take turns shaking this thing as hard as we can”.

“Very well”.

Hanzo decided to go up first. He shook for a 42 seconds before passing it down to Jesse. Jesse tried shaking it as well. He lasted for a bit before passing it up to Hanzo. Hanzo shook it and passed it. Jesse shook again and passed it again. It wasn’t long before they were tired. It felt like ages passed by.

“How long has it been?” Jesse yawned.

“I don’t know. Do you want to check inside and see the continents of the ice cream?”

Jesse opened the lid and checked. It looked like it was almost done. Some of it was still running. Maybe they weren’t being vigorous enough. The instructions didn’t just say shaking, they said vigorous shaking.

Satya spotted them having trouble.

“Does something happen to be the matter? I notice you both have stopped taking turns”.

Hanzo gave her a curt nod. “We are in good standing. Thank you for checking on us, Satya”.

Jesse turned to her with more desperation. “Can you please ask Aleks if she wants to shake the rest?”

Aleksandra overheard her name and came flying from the other side of the room. “Who mentioned me?”

Satya pointed to Jesse.

Aleksandra laughed again. “Would you like some assistance?”

Hanzo turned. “We are fine. Thank you”.

Jesse handed her the sphere. “Please rescue us from hell”.

Hanzo tisked, but there was no point in arguing. He was also tired of shaking the orb.

“No worries, I’ve already finished shaking 4 tonight”.

\--

They were in front of their respective apartment doors again. Jesse was grinning, looking content about the results of the evening. They didn’t win any prizes. In fact, they didn’t even submit their ice cream for tasting. They ate it all themselves. It was peculiar, to say the least. Cinnamon-guava. Hanzo was sure guava alone would have been better. The cinnamon through the entire thing off. Or maybe if it was just cinnamon. Whatever the case was, Hanzo wasn’t sure cinnamon and guava were meant to be put together. Cinnamon and tamarind, however, would have been something. Or cinnamon and strawberry, like initially proposed. Whatever the case was, Hanzo was happy the ordeal was over. He never wanted to see an ice cream shaker again.

“Thanks for flying over on such short notice. I hope ya enjoyed yerself, for the most part”.

Hanzo smirked. “It was fun creating something with you”.

Jesse blushed, maybe just a little.

“Just between you and me, can I ask where we stand?” Jesse twiddled his fingers on his sides. “I know you said we’re dating, but I kind of want a confirmation, and all”.

Hanzo didn’t know where to take it. He stood here.

Jesse sighed. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it right now”.

He was thankful for that. “I will speak with you later”.

Jesse smiled and bid him goodnight, as happy as a rabbit outside in the open breeze.

\--

1:46 AM

Hanzo Shimada

I know what I said, but I don’t believe we should continue the romantic aspects of our relationship.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satya tells it like it is. Another ride with Genji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am alive and well and i have no intention of dropping this fic! im in school now but will the updates will absolutely continue. hope u enjoy this one! a little slow but things will start to pick up p fast. thank u again for all the support i appreciate each and every one of u  
> EDIT: spaces for accessibility have been added to all chapters.

“Ok, Satya, so imagine”--

  
“A simple task”.

  
“Very funny”.

  
Satya smirked.

  
Satya wore a pencil skirt and blazer. She looked every part business formal. Her hair was pinned into a neat bun, not a strand out of place. Her bangs were neatly combed behind her ears and sprayed. 6:50 AM was the only time she was available for a personal matters today. Her schedule was down to the minute. Busy until 9 that evening. Just as she’d have it. A signing, a meeting, a business dinner, etc. Jesse begged her to talk in person, and the urgency in his voice suggested it could not wait. It piqued her interest. Jesse was not one to beg without being in deep water. She agreed to meet him at the only time she had to herself.

  
They were in a posh coffee shop near Jesse’s apartment. The store was recently renovated--new tiles, seating, and display cases. The morning sun glistened through the glass windows. It was bright orange through the clouds. The clouds themselves were dispersed throughout the sky. A cloud fleet threatened in the distance. Today was last time it would be cold and dreary, for the season at least. It was to be the last of its kind for now. Winter was on its last breath.

  
“So, imagine someone sending ya a load of mixed messages”.

  
“Is this conversation going to be about Hanzo? He appeared to enjoy your presence enough during the social event at Mei’s”.

  
Jesse went from ok to dejected.

  
Satya stared. Her prediction was deadeye.

  
She and Jesse became friends when she was elected onto the Mei’s Biweekly Get Together e-board. It was a group they both frequented. Jesse was on and off. Satya didn’t notice until much later. They did not interact with each other until she became acting treasurer. Mei knew Jesse well, and she introduced him to her. Said he sprinkled visits throughout the year but made sure to come to the majority of the meetings during the Winter. He was all hospitality. Jesse brought people along every so often. None quite like Hanzo. The man appeared to be on his guard, even when having fun. And they were having fun. He and Jesse started comparing muscles when Zarya took over the ice cream shaker. That was fun. Smiles and laughter indicated fun. They were both smiling and laughing. Satya and Jesse were friends, to say the very least. They independently sought each other out for advice and conversation.

  
Satya tried to sound compassionate, but fell short. “So, I take it you don’t like mixed signals, Jesse”.

  
“Does anyone?”

  
“Fair enough”. Satya didn’t know how to handle this, but she tried to give an adequate response. “Have you attempted conversing with him? He seemed like an approachable person”.

  
Jesse shook his head.

  
Satya took another sip of her tea. “Why not?”

  
Jesse had a look on his face--tired. It wasn’t just the I-woke-up-for-this-early-meeting tired either. He rested his head on one of his hands that was propped up on the table. He used the other one to stir his drink. Jesse took a gander out the window and stared with a hardened expression. It was like he was trying to pinpoint something elusive. Something troubling. Jesse frowned. Sad? Upset? Satya wondered what the matter could be.

  
“I really like him, you know”. He took the hat off of his head and placed it on the empty seat next to him. “What if he thinks I’m some sort of joke or something and he’s just been dragging me around for fun?”

  
Satya knew little about Jesse’s romantic relationships outside of second hand stories she’s pieced together through Mei. Lots of interests, lots of heartbreak. A few successful hookups and flings. Nothing serious just yet, or at least from the sounds of it.

  
“There is a reason for it, regardless of whether you or me know the specifics”. They made eye contact. “What is the current state of your relationship?”.

  
It’s been a few days, yeah. Nothing much. Just a lack of communication is all. Again. Jesse wasn’t sure how to handle the situation so he did the only thing he knew how to do: run as well as approach a trusted friend. The only thing he really could do was hope for the best. It was silly how many people he’s turned to for this damn crush of his, Hanzo. Multiple phone calls to Angela, text conversations with Fareeha, this meeting with Satya. That one time he got wasted and passed out on Angela’s lawn. That other time he got wasted and passed out on Angela’s lawn. Which reminded him.

  
He asked them how they came up with Hana’s last name once. They were going to rock-paper-scissor it out but Fareeha mentioned that if her last name went first, then Hana would be first on school student lists, which were alphabetical. Angela saw reason in that. She was always last, hence the impossible wait to be called up to the stage for graduation. But being last had its perks too. Teachers sometimes told student groups to present in the order of their last names. Her group always went last. That always meant an extra day or two before show time. The two couldn’t decide, so Hana just continued with Song, her legal name. He had to admit, Hana Amari-Ziegler and Hana Ziegler-Amari sounded off. There was also the matter of Hana’s cultural education, but that was a story by itself. Hint: a mix of Arabic and Korean Sunday schooling for adolescent Hana with German lessons at home. The kid was ridiculous smart.

  
Jesse wondered how much of all those classes she still retained, video games and all.

  
“Well, uh. We were dating I suppose, no longer than it takes a tomato to bake in the sun, though. He sort of came out of nowhere and told his brother that I was his, and God forbid, lover one day. Can you even believe that? And it was surprising to hear because I didn’t know. He kind of just decided on it himself and I was confused, but went with it because damn, Satya, I want to date him. My God. So we’re all nice and sweet for a couple of days. And the other day he literally just came over to my house and we had a nice time chatting over booze and a movie. And then just regular stuff. And then I brought him to Mei’s because I thought it would be a good time. Anyhow, he texted me yesterday like a few hours after we got home. And well, I was asleep when I got it and read it when I woke up and I was just so surprised. And I just don’t know. What do you think?”  
Satya put her cup down and tried to think. That was quite a bit of information to process. Sounds like there wasn’t anything in particular that could have set Hanzo off. She wondered if Hanzo knew Mei’s Get Together’s were LGBT+ events dedicated to discussion concerning local concerns and just for a chill time, pun intended. He’d have to be living under a rug to not know. She scratched that out. Maybe he felt inadequate after Zarya finished shaking their ice cream. That did not sound like the answer either.

  
“What exactly did he say?”

  
Jesse fished his phone out of his pocket with reluctance, like he didn’t want to reread the message. After a moment of searching, he found Hanzo’s recent text. “‘I know what I said, but I don’t believe we should continue the romantic aspects of our relationship’. He wants to break up with me? Neither of us even asked each other out?”  
“It’s always something with you. Very unfortunate”. Satya tried to console him by putting a little bit of humor in her voice and smiling.

  
Satya attempted to be clear-cut, like with her clients. Jesse was no client, but like clients Satya dealt with, he had an issue and was turning to her to fix it. Satya was a business lawyer. Her salary depended on her communication and interpersonal skills. It was not always easy, but it was a job she enjoyed because it challenged her to make due with the traits she already possessed. She needed to be clear, succinct, and even bold. Jesse’s life was in her hands, or at least part of it. She would not let him down.

  
“I will ask. How much do you like this man?”

  
It was a tough call for Jesse. There wasn’t any one thing he enjoyed the most about Hanzo, because the man had so many qualities. “Well, I mean”.

  
To be direct, sure, one of the first things Jesse may have noticed were the size of Hanzo’s pecs. They were huge. Large. Jesse may or may not still be obsessed with them. Hanzo was a very attractive man and that wasn’t a statement Jesse could deny. He had a sharp chin and a firm physique. He was the rugged kind of handsome Jesse was weak for. Not that these qualities were the be-all end-all. Hanzo emitted a perpetual aura of confidence. He was active in seeking the answers to his questions. Hanzo was calculated, well-versed, and could laugh like he just experienced the funniest thing in his 38 year old life over and over. It hadn’t been long, but Jesse was questioning the line between frivolous infatuation and something else. Hanzo was like the first daisy to peek out of the ground after months of snow. Brash, admirable, and a sight to see.

  
Ok, well as bad as having a frivolous infatuation was, it wasn’t scary. He was an avid dater and knew where to set boundaries for himself. It was easier to pull out of a relationship early than later. Later could be difficult. Later could be dangerous. Jesse always cut himself off before later. Maybe not this time, though. He shivered at the thought. This wasn’t his intention at all. It wasn’t supposed to go down this way.

  
Despite the jubilant persona Jesse liked performing, he could be ridden with insecurities. There were many things he had to clear up with Hanzo. Many. One of them was his sexuality because Jesse wasn’t sure if he was being messed with or not. He didn’t like it. Hanzo didn’t seem like the type to manipulate for amusement, either, but Jesse couldn’t help of thinking of the gloomy and troublesome sometimes. Straight people were--Jesse’d stop right there. Whatever the case was, Satya was right. There was probably a reason behind Hanzo’s actions. There was an explanation for everything, and he should stop worrying about the possibilities. There were endless possibilities, each one worse than the previous. Thinking about possibilities didn’t help.

  
Jesse thought of the last time Hanzo smiled.

  
The noise that came out of his throat was pure honey to Jesse’s ears. He made sure to make a mental note of the occurrence--the way Hanzo’s shoulders bounced up and down, how he tried to cover his mouth with one of his hands. Jesse could still see his endearing grin through his fingers. Not to mention the tint of rose that stained his cheeks that was in full sight. Jesse rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

  
“Satya, I’m certain I want him”.

  
Satya appreciated the direct answer. “If you really want him, talk to him”.

  
Jesse appeared a tad squeamish at the response. A very simple and modest plan of action, for sure. But he didn’t want to.

  
Satya continued. “Plans are easy to make. Actions are not to carry out. I understand if you are hesitant to converse with the man that holds your affections, but inactivity will not ameliorate your situation. Running away is the worst course you can take”.

  
Her attention shifted to her watch a second before it started beeping. It would be time to head off soon, but she did not want to leave Jesse in such a state. She pursed her lips and tried to think of something else to say. She was glad to be socializing, but it would have to come to an end. She’d have to fly off to serve some purpose.

  
“Satya, what was that thing that Lúcio kid is always sayin’?”

  
Satya did not know the purpose of the question, but tried to answer carefully anyways. “‘Come on, let’s bring it together’?”

  
That didn’t sound quite right. “The other one?”

  
Satya tried again. “You gotta believe!”

  
That one. “Thank ya kindly”.

  
To blatantly piss on rural Illinois, it was a hot mess, as rural places were. He would stop and wonder about his life so far and what caused him to stay in one place for so long, but that wasn’t related to the question at hand.

  
He turned his attention back to Satya, whom was finishing her tea. She was scribbling something in her pocket planner. Probably a small adjustment to her schedule from taking the time to speak with him this morning. She had a habit of doing that, not that it mattered. She had to do what she had to do. Speaking of which, it was an awful early time to meet.

  
Jesse put his hat back on and tipped it at Satya. His business with Hanzo was long from over, but it was time to give Satya a little bit of time to chill out. “Thank ya for hearing me out. Anything planned for today?”

  
She snickered a little. Jesse knew from that laugh her schedule was packed. There were many things planned today. Her schedule could not be boiled down to a single sentence. “The most interesting is that I’m scheduled for the Shimada LLS today.”

  
“The what?”

  
Shimada?

  
Satya gave him a curt nod. “The Shimada Company, LLS is a translating service that was very popular in Japan, the country from which it originated. It has since expanded to the States. They are quite the name to associate with. Hanzo has probably already taken the time to talk your ear off about it, so I won’t bore you with the details. I also won’t bother you with the details of the business arrangement I have today. Hanzo has most likely already told you about it, and besides, I couldn’t tell you due to privacy statements I have signed”.

  
Jesse didn’t like the sound of that. “Well I’ll be as lost as a kitten in a corn maze”.

  
“What?”

  
“I’m a lil’ confused here”.

  
Satya could never be sure with the wild things that came out of Jesse’s mouth sometimes.

  
“About the specifics of the arrangement?” They weren’t just any arrangements. Surely Hanzo has talked to Jesse about them already. Handing off a business was no joke and not a very common occurrence.

  
Truth be told, Jesse didn’t know the business was a thing at all in the first place. Shimada from Hanzo Shimada. He wouldn’t have pieced it together. He didn’t know how common of a last name it was, but he guessed Hanzo wasn’t a significant player in the business if he’s gone this long about mentioning it. Maybe it was owned by a close relative or something and he was in the loop because of that. He brushed it off. It was just another thing to talk about with Hanzo. He didn’t think much of it, not that owning a business wasn’t all that. Just didn’t want to worry about too much at the same time.

  
The watch on Satya’s wrist beeped again, telling her to wrap up her business and move onto the next segment of her day. Jesse knew the sound and what it meant for their conversation. He yawned. It wasn’t even 8 AM yet.

  
“Say hi to Hanzo if ya see ‘em”.

  
It was one thing to the next with Hanzo. Having daydreams about him and thinking of him in the shower was enough to deal with. Let alone real interactions. Jesse had a queue of things to run through in his head. They spoke and interacted frequently. There was always something he could ponder about--what a certain gesture meant or what a specific phrase implied. He worried too much. He was hyper-conscious of him. And Jesse thought he was too old for this. It was kinda like getting nervous in high school around a certain someone, except he was 37 and Hanzo wasn’t just any certain someone.

  
He wasn’t sure what he specifically liked about Hanzo. Maybe it was how he talked about hard learned lessons or his general attitude about getting to know new people. He was a bit reserved at times, but Jesse was sure he had friends. Hanzo was charming. Very charming. He wondered what type of boss Hanzo was. He seemed the type to allow his employees to stay out an extra 5 or 10 minutes on break, but not a second more. Maybe like the type to allow his employees to occasionally make a mess of the office space as long as it was cleaned up by the end of the day to not disturb maintenance staff. Lenient about general rules, but firm on guidelines.

  
Maybe he’d make a good parent. Allowing his child to explore, but not giving them all the reins. He wondered how Fareeha and Angela did it. It seemed like a load of trouble, to be honest. Especially children. Babies. He wondered what it was like to raise a baby. He had no experience caring for a baby. He was an only child, so learning how to take care of one via a younger sibling was out of the question. Jesse’s never worked in a baby daycare. He also didn’t work in a hospital. He wondered if Angela knew how to deliver, but he digressed. It was kinda scary, being in charge of protecting a life.

  
A lot to think about. He sure would care for a friend if they were sick. He would go over to their house and everything if they wanted. But that wasn’t exactly protecting. The word was like swallowing a mouthful of water filled with traces of heavy metals. Sickening.

  
He thought about his life on the road. Gang life. Deadlock. Protecting illicit weapons on their way to their destination. He remembered touching a gun for the first time. Smooth, cold, metallic. It was a weapon that could be used with or without mercy. Not that it mattered. He remembered being barked at. Protect the cargo. Protect it with your life.  
He sniffed and took another look out the window while Satya went over the items in her suitcase.

  
The sun was in full view after taking its time rising above the horizon. It was a sweet yellow. Bright and glorious. There was no way it was going to snow later, but he wasn’t kidding anyone by doubting a 90% chance forecast.

  
He bumped his knee against the pole which was holding up the table.

  
Ouch.

  
Smooth, cold, metallic. Completely different setting. It was safe here.

  
He yawned and scrunched up his shoulders. Satya was writing something else down in a pocket notebook she kept--probably notes to accompany her planner. She put the pen and her notes away in the suitcase and snapped it shut.

  
“I will make sure to greet him on your behalf”.

  
Jesse gave her a nod as she got up to leave.

  
“Mighty appreciated, Satya. Yer one of a kind”.

  
\--

  
His Fioravanti was clean and ironed. It was a suit he has only had the pleasure of wearing a few times in his life. It was formal and quite expensive. He received it as a birthday gift from his father one year. The man was insistent that Hanzo have a suit that exemplified his status and class, not that their business was huge, by any means of the word. It was not a gift that he could turn down. Genji had a matching suit. Same color, style. They could maybe passed as fraternal twins if Hanzo shaved. That was besides the point.

  
It was early in the morning and they were heading off to sign release forms at the Company. Hanzo was excited to hand over the company reins, but not excited about having to show his face in the building. Genji supported the decision, saying something about it being best to share the wealth. His father was like a ghost, forever haunting the halls of the States branch of the Shimada Company, LLS.. He was an ambitious and cold man, never forgiving and never heading to the will of others. It would be cathartic to leave for good. Another day, another memory being left behind to rot like an apple in the sun.

  
But he stopped thinking about it.

  
Genji was driving them away to the office. The heater was on low and the windows were up. There was Swedish pop on the radio. Hanzo wondered if Genji understood any of the words. He wouldn’t put it past him. Genji liked to mess around a lot, but was serious about getting down to business. Picking up another language wasn’t that far-fetched. Genji was much more a capable man than some gave him credit for. The radio took a dive into announcements and ads.

  
“So, Hanzo, bro, I can’t shake a certain feeling. Do you have any idea how the Company knew where to send the letters we got? See, I don’t really understand it”.

  
It was a good point to make. The Company was quick to do business due to their network. He couldn’t imagine them telling everyone to keep an eye out for himself or Genji, though. They did regular business with ALAM. It wasn’t that secure of a move in the first place. It would have been very easy for a representative to come over and come into contact with either himself or Genji without trying. There was that, but also the fact that his and Genji’s names were on the staff directory.

  
Ah.

  
“We are semi-public ALAM employees since our names appear on the directory. They could have also contacted the human resources office for more information, but it wouldn’t totally be necessary. Our company address boxes are on the directory website. The only thing they would have needed to have done is ask a current ALAM employee to look us up on their behalf”.

  
Hanzo surmised that this was probably what happened. It was the easiest course to take, and a simple one at that.

  
“Damn. Not such a smart move then?”

  
Sounded just about right, just like everything that came out of Hanzo’s mouth. Genji accepted the response as legitimate.

  
Hanzo continued. “I never intended to run away from the Company. I seeked repose”.

  
Genji pushed the break for a stoplight. “Heck, me neither. I imagine you found what you were looking for?”

  
Hanzo looked his way. It was a comfortable setup--living by himself and getting to know people that hadn’t necessarily heard of him. It was great. Very great. There were no expectations to fill the role of young master, as he liked to call it. He could just be a person for a second. He wondered why he didn’t search for a break from the Company sooner. It made him think. He enjoyed his time away from the Company. Hell, it was the reason why he was seeking a permanent leave. Hanzo nodded.

  
Genji took off again. T-16 minutes. Time to steer the conversation somewhere else.

  
“How’s Jesse doing? I still can’t believe you have a boyfriend”.

  
Hanzo sighed. Well, he hoped. They haven’t spoken in a few days. Jesse hasn’t tried to contact him. Maybe it was for the best. “What is so unbelievable about me seeking companionship?”

  
Genji laughed. “You’ve had a pole up your ass since forever? I thought you were straight? Wait, let’s stop there. You know I’m bi, right? What the hell are you and like when did this happen?”

  
Hanzo didn’t half expect to be interrogated like this. Hanzo didn’t know a term that best captured what he was feeling just yet. Was there a term for not knowing? Questioning?  
Genji, feeling his hesitance, dropped the question. “You don’t have to come out to me all at once, I guess”. He waited for a reply. Hanzo gave none. “Does that silence mean Jesse’s your first boyfriend?”

  
“He’s not my boyfriend”. Hanzo’s reply was immediate.

  
Genji cracked a smile at that one. “Don’t fuck with me Mr. Shimada. I saw him kiss your hand. My God--in a public area too. You’re such a scandal”.

  
More silence. Hanzo was good at being silent in a very particular fashion.

  
“Sorry--lover, as you introduced him?”

  
“No”.

  
“Did you break up?”

  
And that was enough. Hanzo didn’t look like he was in the mood for conversation.

  
Genji took the social cue and kept driving for a bit. He wanted to break the silence, though. Didn’t meant to strike a rough patch right. He wanted to talk more about Jesse. The man knew how to ride horses for hell’s sake. Even Hanzo didn’t know how to do that. Hanzo appeared a little hurt that Genji would mention breaking up. Genji was interested at the display of sensitivity.

  
He started up the conversation after a few traffic lights. The development was too juicy to let go.

  
“Hey, if this is your first male/male relationship I want you to recall that one time I got chewed out for ‘smashing’ that vase in the living room. You remember the one? The replica of an imari vase? That one. Bullshit. I was arguing with the boyfriend that I had at the time and he accidentally bumped the table when he was in the middle of storming out. Do you remember that I had to do a month’s worth of supplemental worksheets for school after that? I’m not totally sure at what I’m getting at here, and I don’t give out advice often, but it’s great to experiment. This is regardless of your age”. He paused momentarily, only to ponder what else to say. “I know I turned into a serial dater and all back in the day, but it was a good time. I think it was good phase. Learned a little bit more about myself and who I am and all. Didn’t really know what my sexuality was or anything but dating around helped me out. You’ve lucked out a little though. I bet you don’t even know it. Sure--we have family and everything, but you won’t have to hide yourself from your own parents like I did”.

  
Genji licked his lips. He had a feeling that Hanzo was trying to explore his options, just didn’t expect that it was the case.

  
He couldn’t believe he knew more about something than his brother. And Hanzo knew just about everything. Almost.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's transfer time. It's Jesse time. It's Genji time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i have stalled for quite some time but i am planning to update this fic 25k during the month of november in honor of nanowrimo. chapters should be coming out weekly for the next 4 weeks. maybe get some extra content in there towards the end. i want to thank everyone that has been in contact during my hiatus. i love all of you and wish you the best.  
> stay chill!  
> i really appreciate everyone that has left kudos or comments so far. as usual, lmk if anything is up! i skipped over editing a bit this time

“Are you sure it’s this floor?”

  


“Genji, you have quite literally stepped foot on the top floor of the Company building before”.

Recently too. Hanzo’s office was on this floor, not that it would be for long. There were doors to some of the top company executives on this floor. There was also a waiting area, a multi-stalled bathroom, and quite the view of the city. Not to mention the boardrooms. Hanzo took a moment to look through the picture windows.

  


There were people walking from one place to another. Some were probably late for their jobs and others were running to make appointments in different buildings. Some were in t-shirts and some were in parkas. Typical. Some, most, were rushing to their destinations, while others were taking it slow. Probably tourists. But at this time of the year? It was hard to not compare them to ants from this distance away. It was like watching movie confetti, with the different colors everyone was wearing.

  


He touched the glass with the tips of his fingers. It was cold. He wondered how much it cost to keep the interior of the building heated. Probably a lot. He wondered if the company was getting their energy from sustainable sources of energy. He also wondered how much it cost to make the building in the first place. It was strange to think about how this would probably be his last time inside. He spent a part of his life being raised in this building. Hanzo turned away from the window and took a look at the rest of the floor.

  


Genji had already started to sprawl out on one of the lounge couches. His feet were over one of the coffee tables and next to a stack of Forbes magazines. He was fiddling around with his phone. Maybe he was playing a game of some sort. Hanzo thought about giving him a few pointers about how to behave in public spaces, but he knew damn well they were both adults. And it didn’t matter, anyways. It was also Genji’s last time in this space. Genji would straighten himself out when other people came, and that’s where etiquette mattered. What would he say to correct him, anyways? “Is this how you act at home”? This building had been their home, though whether it was home at the current moment was debatable. He remembered how their father would push them to voluntarily spend their personal time to shadowing him on the job. Voluntary was romanticizing it a little.

  


“Zo, what’s up?”

  


Hanzo snapped out of it. Genji continued tapping on his phone screen. Maybe he was playing a game. Genji continued.

  


“Seem a little glum there. Having second thoughts? Thinking about blaming yourself for everything?”

  


“Genji”.

  


“Zo Shimada”.

  


They gave each other serious looks.

  


“And just whom is this Zo Shimada?” Hanzo asked.

  


They smiled.

  


“Go use the bathroom or something, Zo. It’s going to be chill”.

  


Not a bad idea.

  


Where was the bathroom again?

He checked his back pocket for his wallet and took it out. He unzipped it open and the keychain with all of his keys fell to the ground. There goes his apartment key along with the one that belonged to his father’s house. Hanzo crouched and picked it off the floor. He flipped through a few of the keys on the keychain and remembered he returned his office key to the building’s security office when he stormed out. Just his luck. Nothing personal against the semi-public bathroom on the floor, but the one in his office was stocked with soft toilet paper. It was the little things. Looks like he would just have to do without multi-ply toilet paper. What a world.

  


“Zo, why are you crouching?”

  


Genji’s voice echoed across the floor. Hanzo got up and started walking.

  


The floor was made of cherry wood planks and there were carpets every so often, specifically near office doors and around the lounge area. There was also quite the amount of commodities on the floor. There were two coffee makers, each accompanied by a small sink, dish rack, and cupboard full of ceramic mugs, not to mention the vending machine in the waiting lounge. Hanzo also swore that there was a kitchenette somewhere, maybe in the COO office. He didn’t realize how commodified the space was until leaving. Howdy.

  


The multi-stall bathroom too. There were folded paper towels in a stack near the sinks. There was also a counter lined with baskets near the stalls. Baskets? He wondered what they would be filled with. The diamond shaped bathroom tiles were a marbled beige. They shone under the light coming the ceiling lights and the lights that framed the bathroom mirrors. He walked closer towards the array of baskets. The baskets were of different sizes, but they were all the same color. He vaguely remembers seeing a bundle on Amazon once, when he was deciding on home decor. Mints. One of those looked refreshing. Sanitary pads? Hanzo looked around.

  


No urinals. He heard a flush. He paced out of the bathroom to look at the sign.

  


Huh.

  


Genji time.

  


He paced back to the lounge, where Genji was still living it up. Genji heard his footsteps and instinctively turned around.

  


“Back so soon? Did you just pee or something?”

  


“Genji”.

  


“What’s up now?” Genji exited the app he was playing so he could give Hanzo his full attention. He turned so they were facing each other. “Did you really come to the bathroom and back? You look constipated”.

  


Hanzo covered his face with both of his hands and paced around the couch so he wouldn’t have to walk over Genji’s legs, that were still on the coffee table. He took a seat.

  


“What does the Gender Neutral sign on the bathroom mean?”

  


“Hanzo”.

  


Hanzo looked at him. 

  


“You know the family bathrooms you always see at restaurants and stuff? Like, airports, too?The ones where parents can go in with their children? It’s the same thing. Run along, now. Off you go”.

  


“My apologies”.

  


“Oh, my God. You’re a standing soap opera. Come back when you’re done”.

  


Genji took his feet off the coffee table and decided that sitting criss-cross would be more comfortable. He adjusted himself on the sofa. Hanzo looked at him for a moment.

  


“Off you go”.

  


Hanzo pursed his lips and went off. He paced back to the bathroom. It was just so matter-of-fact, with Genji. He almost felt silly asking. Hanzo resisted the urge of taking out his phone and inquiring Siri for more information. He approached the entrance of the bathroom and heard someone’s shoes clicking against the tiles. He decided on whether waiting outside the bathroom or going in would be the best decision. The clicking stopped. Well, Zo Shimada, might as well step into that bathroom. He heard his shoes clack against the tile as he entered the space. The clicking of the mystery individual’s shoes continue.

  


Satya.

  


She turned turned around and spared him a quick glance before going back to shuffling through a few packets.

  


“Jesse’s man. Hello”.

  


“Good morning”.

  


He wondered what she could be doing on the top floor of the Company building.

  


“How are you doing today?” she asked.

  


“Peachy, alert”.

  


He also wondered if it was socially appropriate to use one of the stalls while she was organizing her papers. Hanzo decided on grabbing a mint and chatting for a bit.

“Pardon me for asking, but are you going to be a part of the meeting today concerning the transferring of my title?”

  


“It will entail a little bit more than just transferring your title, but yes. I am one of the lawyers that will be supervising the paperwork. Nice to see you again, Hanzo. To reiterate, my name is Satya Vaswani and we met at Mei’s”.

  


She turned towards him again, this time for a handshake. They shook. It was firm.

  


“A pleasure. I am Hanzo Shimada”.

  


“Yes, I am aware”.

  


She finished counting the packets and placed them back into her suitcase. She then pulled a sticky note out of her sticky note dispenser and wrote down a number. Hanzo wondered if it was socially appropriate to be hovering over her while she was going through the papers. She wasn’t saying anything, so he assumed it was fine, not that assuming has been all that great for him lately.

  


“I spoke with Jesse this morning”.

  


Hanzo remembered what a small world it’s been this past month and some.

  


“What did Jesse say?”

  


“He loves you. Just to clarify, he did not say that directly. It is not my place to interfere, but since we are not yet in the meeting room, and the conversation has been casual so far, I believe I am not overstepping any boundaries. Please correct me if I’m wrong. I am 90% certain that he loves you, which is quite the percentage and the reason I am telling you”.

Hanzo pursed his lips. Quite the percentage. He attempted to divert the conversation. “It was a pleasure attending the event at Mei’s”.

  


Satya began to think about the possible path their conversation could take. “That reminds me. Are you on the mailing list? If not, are you comfortable answering a few questions about the quality of the experience? To be succinct: what was your favorite part of the evening and what was something that you did not enjoy?”

  


He enjoyed spending some quality time with Jesse. He also did not enjoy having to part with him for the evening.

  


At this point in time, he was not surprised about how much he was thinking about Jesse McCree. It was a little too much of a common occurrence. The thing was how specific he was being about him. His emotions were clear-cut at this point, and that was what was making him a little fearful. There was no pondering about whether he was enjoying his time with Jesse or not. What was left to be done at this point? Reassure each other of mutual interest? This was typically the part in his thought process where he would disengage.

  


“I enjoyed the copious and sundry ice-cream add-ins. In terms of organization, I do not think the mixed fruit bowl was a good idea. However, I do see merit in the decision if it was made to inspire competition”.

  


Satya pulled out another sticky note and jotted down some points. “This is not a survey question, but how was the evening for you and Jesse? Was this a date night for both of you?”

Hanzo wanted to wave the question off, but knew he could not.

  


“I had an enjoyable time”.

  


“Is that so”.

  


Satya finished organizing her materials for the upcoming meeting and stuck the note to the inside of her briefcase. She closed the latches.

  


“Just one more question. I know that regardless of whether we are in the meeting room or not, this is an area that can be accessed by company executives and other important personnel. I am a little curious about you, because Jesse has not wanted to part with very much information. What made you decide to start dating Jesse?”

  


Genji.

  


He took a second to think about the type of people that could potentially cue in on the conversation at such an inopportune moment.

  


“It’s quite silly”. He paused and thought about how to finish off the thought. There was also nothing he could gain from being honest about his relationship. He did not know Satya very well, though he assumed she and Jesse got along. Was there anything he could lose? “He’s a man with an open heart”.

  


If Hanzo’s approval of Jesse was high, then there was no reason for them to be having any type of dispute. Satya wondered, but appreciated the answer.

  


“How long have you been involved? I know Jesse is only around for part of the year due to work-related reasons. Sorry, strike my previous question. Jesse is only present in Ellie for part of the year. Do you have any plans on how often you are meeting during the rest of the year? I find that a few of my colleagues do not like long distance relationships, and was curious about how you and Jesse are dealing with the situation”.

  


Hanzo knew he couldn’t wave off this one, though he wanted to. That’s right. The calendar. Another thing to think about and avoid. He didn’t know. He wondered if Jesse had figured out that the calendar was the cause of this current debacle. What would reassuring each other of mutual interest do for the relationship? He did not like the idea of a long-distance relationship. Didn’t think it would work. Distance would be hard, especially considering how often they’ve been seeing and texting each other. It was best to end it now, before getting too attached. His current level of attachment to Jesse was enough. He could move while Jesse was away and that would be the end of them being neighbors. Simple. Not simple. He spent the money he had moving to a new apartment. He had already started an account for retirement savings. Couldn’t touch that. Exponential growth. He could also rely on Genji for the time being. No. Why was he thinking about escaping Jesse’s presence? It would hurt. He didn’t like that.

  


“We need to discuss before we decide on anything”.

  


“Fair enough. It can be tough, from what I have gathered”.

  


Satya took out her pocket planner and flipped to today’s date.

  


Hanzo decided it was his turn to ask a question. “Did you say you are the financial manager for Mei’s?”

  


Satya gave him a curious look. So looks like Hanzo could hold a regular conversation. “I am officially treasurer, which is not quite the same. I do help Mei with the financial responsibilities of hosting events, but she is the backbone of the club”.

  


“Favorite part? Worst part?”

  


There were no bad parts of being treasurer. The only source of stress that came from the job was the amount of reimbursement forms she had to fill out biweekly for the events being hosted, but she was aware of all treasurer responsibilities before accepting the position on the executive board.

  


“Making individuals happy is quite fulfilling. Helping coordinate an LGBT+ space in the area is quite the experience. Worst? I was informed about all of the responsibilities that came with the job before accepting the position. There is no worst. I was aware of everything”.

  


An LGBT+ space?

  


Jesse.

  


Even though he was invited to the space, Hanzo had a basic understanding of what it meant for spaces to exist for that were for minority groups only. Jesse’s been dragging him by the sleeve since they met. He wondered if he had entered any other LGBT+ spaces without knowing it. It felt a little embarrassing to say that he probably stepped into spaces and used up resources that weren’t meant for him.

  


He felt hesitant to say anything.

  


Jesse.

  


Was it ok if he was invited? Jesse invited him for a reason. It was a date.

  


Satya yawned. “As someone that is new to the space, I have to ask if you want any information on future events or the origins of the space. We can be contacted through social media on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. We also have a website, if you care to look us up”.

  


Hanzo nodded.

  


Looks like he knew what he was doing this evening. Speaking of this evening, there was only so long he could avoid coming home at the same time as Jesse.

  


“Hanzo”.

  


“Yes”.

  


“To get serious for a moment, how are you feeling about this meeting?”

  


“Good”.

  


Good.

  


Good.

  


Satisfactory.

  


That was all he had to say. It was what he and Genji had discussed and decided on together. Satisfactory. It made him a bit anxious, being back in this building, but it would be satisfactory. That was enough. There was nothing really to it. Hanzo had made sure to talk to some of the other individuals that lead the company before today. Some of them knew about the transferring of the title.

  


His phone buzzed in his pocket.

  


He took it out of his pocket.

8: 42 AM

  


Jesse McCree

  


call me please 

  


“I will take that as my cue to stop prying. Thank you for speaking to me before the meeting. I will see you there. Please contact me if you have any questions. I will be located in the lounge area”. Satya smiled and left. Hanzo heard her footsteps as she exited the restroom.

He thumbed his screen for a little before deciding on whether to call. There were approximately 15 minutes until the meeting started, but he should be in the boardroom in about 10 or 5. Early was on-time. It was the only way to live.

  


He needed to call.

  


Wanted to call.

  


Didn’t feel great about having to call.

  


Maybe stepping outside for a bit and having a quick conversation with Genji would calm him down. There wasn’t any real time, though. It was really coming down to the clock, here.

He could also call after the meeting, and everything, but something told him this was time-sensitive. Just a feeling. It was sort of a fight or flight thing. He could just not call, but that would be running away.

  


He punched his passcode into his phone and hit his contacts button. 

  


Yeah, just call.

  


\--

  


“Let’s begin the meeting. We are here today because Mr. Hanzo Shimada is the legal heir to the Shimada Company, LLS., but for personal reasons has decided to transfer leadership. Today we will be moving company leadership from Mr. Hanzo Shimada, current acting CEO, to the current company COO, Ken Shimada. Mr. Ken Shimada has been named due to his close relationship with Mr. Hanzo Shimada’s late father, and years of dedication to the company. My name is Satya Vaswani and I am here to mediate the transfer today”.

Satya motioned to two individuals to her left.

“I brought along two talented individuals to facilitate the amount of paperwork we will be going through this morning. They both have been with the firm for several years. I would like to introduce Marisol Matos and Jules Blom. We are very excited to be in attendance today. On to logistics. This meeting will approximately take one hour, but we have booked two hours due to questions and further explanation of the material. Let us begin”.

  


\--

  


“Jesse!” Hanzo called from the end of the hall. He saw red suitcases outside of Jesse’s apartment door.

  


\--

  


His phone vibrated in his pocket. Jesse shut his laptop and spun around in his swivel chair. Showtime, cowboy.

  


“Howdy. Jesse McCree, Ellie Office”.

  


“Jesse, good morning”. Hanzo sounded nervous. “I’ve wanted to speak with you”.

  


\--

  


“I think I need to make something very clear, and it is that I am interested in you”. Hanzo set his cup of coffee down on the table. “However, I am not certain about continuing this relationship with you, because I am unsure about having a long distance relationship”.

  


Jesse sat up straight and took a sip from his mug. Hazelnut cream. “I’m glad you’re interested me”.

  


And he was.

  


They briefly shared eye-contact and turned back to their respective beverages. Hanzo started tapping his knee with the tips of his fingers. He felt warm. Emotionally warm. Tender. He thought about chicken katsu for a brief moment. Not that kind of tender.

  


Jesse tried to stave off silence. “I am quite interested in you as well and that’s why I’m trying to say that you should go out with me. How ‘bout it?”

  


Jesse felt a swing of nervous and then a swing of calm. It was up and down. But he tried to look calm. They were finally speaking to one another.

  


He looked down at the clock on his wrist. If he left in an hour, he could make it back to the farm by tomorrow afternoon. He could theoretically leave later, but that would require him to drive through the night, and we hasn’t sure if that was how he wanted to start off the year. Not that he had to come back tomorrow. He thought it would be pardonable to come later in the day. The thing was, there was just so much more he could do if he came early.

  


Hanzo saw Jesse check the time. “Somewhere to be?”

  


Jesse looked up and saw the disappointment in Hanzo’s face. “How long have you known?”

  


“Long enough”.

  


Forecast said it was going to snow today, but looks like conditions weren’t right. It was hailing. There were small pieces of ice that were melting against the balcony window. There was silence between them. They could hear the low gurgling of the heater and the crackling of the hail against the empty pots in the balcony.

  


“You could’a told me”.

  


“You, Jesse, could have informed me”.

  


“I could’a”.

  


He took another sip out of his cup.

  


“Not that cute”.

  


Hanzo thought about the mini-golf manatee. Very cute. Marsha’s design could rival the Pachimari’s design. Hana Hana Song. Had Hana ever seen a Pachimari? Hanzo took a good look at Jesse’s face and tried to recall all of Hana’s features. They weren’t that similar. Maybe a little, hair color wise. Hana’s hair was lighter than Jesse’s hair, though. Maybe it wasn’t her natural hair color. He thought some more. Her eyebrows seemed to match the color of her hair, and her hair was all one consistent shade of brown. He snapped out of it and realized Jesse was giving him a meaningful look.

  


Long eyelashes and undefined eyebrows.

  


Hanzo asked. “Is Hana Song your child?”

  


“Excuse me?”

  


Hanzo looked serious. Jesse wondered where the question came from and what could have possibly lead to it being asked. “What made ya ask that, of all things?”

  


“Excuse me”. Hanzo got up.

  


“Hanzo, Hana’s quite literally adopted. She’s not even mine”.

  


He shouldn’t have asked. It was a silly question. Silly question, Hanzo. It was baseless, anyways. He took his mug and started pacing towards the kitchen. Jesse followed him.

  


“You two seemed close at golf”.

  


Hanzo stopped walking when he got to the sink. He rinsed out his mug.

  


“We are like family, I suppose. Or at least that’s how I like to view Angela and bunch. Family. You get to pick your own”. Jesse placed is mug in the sink and leaned back on the counter. He crossed his arms. “How’re you and Genji holding up?”

  


Hanzo turned off the water and placed his mug on the drying wrack. “Satisfactory. Good”.

  


“Good”.

  


It was good. They were getting along.

  


“I’m glad you moved in next to me”.

  


“Is that so”.

  


“I love you”.

  


Hanzo looked at him. Jesse looked back.

  


“Is that so”.

  


Jesse, you son of a gun.

  


\--

  


It was 11 AM. Almost lunch time. If he was working in his office, this would be about the time where he would start writing down goals and aspirations for the rest of the work day. This wasn’t his office. This was his car. He was driving back from the Company meeting with Genji in the passenger seat.

  


“Don’t you think you’re going a little fast?”

  


“4 miles over the speed limit is trivial. However, since this is your vehicle, I would listen to any request you have about slowing down”.

  


“Hanzo, I’m joking. Why don’t you go faster if you want to get there earlier?”

  


Hanzo didn’t spare him a look. He kept his eyes on the road and proceeded with caution. If he drove a little fast, he could make it back to the apartment complex in time. “4 miles over the speed limit is enough to get us to my destinations a few minutes ahead of schedule. That’s all I need”.

  


Genji snorted. Typical.

  


They dashed to the elevator as soon as the meeting was adjourned and pressed the button that corresponded with the parking level. They loaded their things and were off.

  


“You two going to have a hot date or something?”

  


“Genji, this is no time for baseless banter”.

  


“Hey, now. A car is always the place for banter”.

  


Hanzo couldn’t argue.

  


Hanzo called Jesse McCree after Satya left the restroom. He was asked to come in before 3 PM. There was no reason to be rushing. But there was something in Jesse’s voice that indicated urgency, and that was enough for Hanzo. He remembered the calendar he wasn’t supposed to see in the first place. If it was one thing about calendars and planners, is that they are subject to change. He had a hunch something was going on with travel time. If that was true, Jesse was leaving early than expected, at 3 PM today. It might have just been a baseless guess, but he had a feeling.

  


“Brozowskie, I don’t think Jesse would leave without telling you like this”.

That was most likely true, but he couldn’t help but think about the possibilities.

  


“Genji, am I impulsive?”

  


Genji wondered what his brother could possibly be worrying this time. He was the type to stress out, not talk to anyone, and then stress out some more. Though he looked calm. Genji would give him that. He didn’t know much about Hanzo’s social life, even when they were working together as co-heads at the Company. He remembered the final party they had before the overseas company expansion. Hanzo was sitting by himself at the end of the bar.

  


“Well, you have to do you. I wouldn’t worry about it. Caring about people is such a mess, huh?”

  


Hanzo spared him a look this time and went back to looking at the road. Genji started laughing.

  


“Christ, Hanzo. I’m joking. Jesse looks like a nice man. Wholesome. Has you in his best interest. Likes you”.

  


“Genji”.

  


“Hi, I’m Jesse and I love Hanzo”.

  


“I am attempting to focus on the road. Please save this for later”.

  


“Wonder what he’s going to say when he sees you. Hey, can I take my car home when you’re done driving us? Yeah, right? Just checking. Hope you solve everything you want to solve”.

  


“Thanks”.

  


Hanzo meant it.

  
They kept on the highway. Genji turned up the Swedish pop.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is that a confession? Sure is. Outing with Angela and family? Absolutely. Angela putting her doctor love hat on again? Yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belated! Expect a double update this week. Next one is scheduled to be tomorrow. Cheers to you all.
> 
> Edit: small changes made to text.

"I love you".

 

"Is that so".

 

It took Jesse McCree, farmhand extraordinaire, a few moments before realizing the implications of his statement. He realized how it came out of his mouth. Fast. Quick. He didn’t spare it a second thought. He always spares conversation topics a second thought. He did not take the extra moment to stop himself. It took him a few moments to realize the consequences of his behavior. His vulnerable feelings were out there. Jesse hoped none of his feelings came as any surprise, but Hanzo was a card. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t said anything at all, but it was too late for regrets. He braced himself for the aftermath.

 

His embarrassment became apparent. His ears and cheeks lit up without warning. As if he wasn’t embarrassed enough. He was embarrassed for saying something, but also embarrassed of being embarrassed. Jesse looked away to hide his expression from Hanzo. It was almost upsetting to have such a reaction. It was embarrassing. There was no real reason to hide. Jesse stuffed his hands in his pockets. There was no reason to collapse and take up less space, but it was what he wanted to do. Was this how confessions went? He wondered. He remembered a story Angela told him a few days ago, about her and Fareeha.

 

It was a Wednesday, mid-afternoon. Business was continuing as usual. Angela was still working at a drop-in only clinic. There was nothing particular about the day. A few people came in that morning. It looked like no one in the area was having issues that day. Fareeha came in with a rash on her arm. Angela attended her. They talked. Fareeha invited her out to coffee.

 

Angela did not go out to get coffee with patients, but she admitted to being curious. They got coffee. A week later. They got coffee again. A week later, coffee. Angela suspected something was going on at this point, week 3 of coffee outings. Fareeha, afraid Angela was getting tired of getting coffee, used their weekly coffee meeting as an opportunity to ask her out to dinner. “Just friends,” is how Fareeha phrased it.

 

They started dating two months later.

 

“Just friends, my ass,” Jesse wanted to say.

 

Just friends.

 

He didn’t want to be just friends with Hanzo. He wanted to date him. He wanted Hanzo. Jesse was surprised at how often he was getting nervous after Hanzo moved in. Hanzo made him nervous. The other day, he was taking a day trip to a state over. It was for business. He exited his car and worried about how Hanzo would like his suit. Would Hanzo think he looked spiffy? Hanzo was taking the day off and saying home. They were quite literally miles apart. They were going to meet tomorrow for lunch at this restaurant for which Hanzo had expressed curiosity. The point was, they wouldn’t be meeting that day, but Jesse couldn’t get his mind off what Hanzo would think. That was the type of nonsense Jesse was dealing with--worrying about Hanzo’s opinion even if they weren’t close to one another.

 

It had calmed down since then. Hanzo was a person, and not a floating image that either approved or disapproved. That kind of took Jesse a bit, but he came to terms with it. Putting a crush on a dias could cause some problems. Idealizing, as fun as it was, was unrealistic. Hanzo was a person with a multi-faceted personality. He had his own issues to deal with. Jesse hoped he could be let in on those issues one day. Having a crush was fun while it lasted. Cute times. Cute now that he was serious and bracing for impending doom.

 

Maybe he would call Angela on the ride back to the farm. The call would last about an hour if he was lucky. It was always variable with Angela’s schedule. He remembered last year. They were in the middle of a call. Angela put him on hold for 16 minutes of his life. He heard wailing and feet scurrying. Angela picked her phone back up and resumed the conversation when she was free again. Jesse didn’t even bother to ask what had just transpired. Podcasts and audiobooks were a good alternative to speaking with real people, he found. At a certain point of the trip, he wasn’t in the mood for calls. Last year’s favorite audiobook:  _ Moby Dick _ . Now that was a wild ride. The radio was also a decent form of distraction, but he turned to that last. Having more than a handful of friends was something to behold. Calls, in all honesty, would take up about half the trip.

 

He sighed.

 

“I’m serious,” Jesse mustered. Not that he doubted that Hanzo had caught on to his advances.  He took his hands out of his pockets and folded them across his chest. Oh, Jesse. It made him feel a little better to stay small. Oh, self-assurance, always running away at the most unnecessary times. He tried not to sound shaky as hell, but there was something in his voice that betrayed the unsettling feeling he was experiencing. He was very serious. Shaky, yes, but serious. He loved him. Ugh, he did. It made his heart race a little faster to think about it again. Hanzo was in his apartment right now. They were about a foot away. He loved him. Yikes. It felt a little strange to say, but he was certain. He wondered what Hanzo would respond.

 

What timing, too.

 

Jesse recalled the first moment he saw Hanzo, standing outside of his new apartment, a box in his arms. Firm physique. Now that merited a yikes. Probably wasn’t more than a brisk desire to make a friend at that time. Maybe something else. Point was, it wasn’t serious at that point. Jesse realized how much of a fool he was for hightailing it towards Hanzo to get a better look at his biceps.

 

Embarrassing.

 

How long had he actively started flirting with Hanzo? Helping a new neighbor with boxes was the gayest thing he’s done in his life.

 

His confession couldn’t have come as a surprise.

 

Jesse’s shit timing for everything came back to haunt. Why now in his apartment, of all places? This could have been a more extravagant affair. Would Hanzo have enjoyed extravagant? It could have been more romantic than this. What could be more romantic than standing in front of a sink and looking with forlorn expressions out a window? Just about anything. Jesse resisted the urge to grumble.

 

Hanzo took the discord in Jesse’s voice as nervousness, not that he blamed him. Hanzo turned around and faced the same window Jesse was facing. Hanzo leaned back on the counter, like Jesse was doing. He folded his arms. Jesse loved him. Hm.

 

Did Hanzo mention how at home he felt in Jesse’s apartment? It was like an extension of his own apartment. It had a different smell, a different set of home decor, but it still felt his, like the space was for him. Hanzo couldn’t have predicted the amount of spare time he would spend here the day he moved in. Jesse loved him. The boxes. Did he love him then? Probably not. Jesse could be a fool, but he wasn’t that kind of a fool. 

 

Hanzo saw Jesse out of the eye of his eye. He also had his arms crossed. His ears were a tone redder than they were before. It was obvious he was blushing. He wondered what Jesse was thinking about. Maybe something silly. Probably something silly. Definitely something silly. All else aside, Hanzo was impressed by the display of affection. It took confidence, even if the outcome wasn’t guaranteed. Hanzo brushed the hair out of his face behind his ears. It was worse if the outcome wasn’t guaranteed. It took more confidence to present under worse circumstances. Hanzo knew that well. Iffy clients were a larger pain to deal with than clients that had stuck with the Company over the years. His personal opinion was that older clients were easier to keep than roping in new clients. Just his two cents.

 

This wasn’t the first confession he’s received in his life. Probably not the last, either. It was a parade on Valentine’s Day. Why were Americans like that? Confident. All the time. Especially on Valentine’s Day. The number had gone up this year. He had grown increasingly popular as the rumor spread that he did not want to marry quite yet. It was his first time being confessed to in such an intimate space. That was the only thing he was sure about. The home was intimate. It reflected an individual’s personality--down to the quantity and qualities of mugs in the cupboard. He didn’t mind confessions. Not from women, at least.

 

Hanzo tried to recall if he’s ever confessed himself. Yes. He was 38. Did he remember any? His mind was not turning up any information. Probably not important at this moment. Confessions. Declarations of romantic attraction. Jesse wasn’t one to joke about romantic attraction. Flirting aside, he didn’t joke around much when it came to the nitty gritty. They both joked around plenty. Not like this, though. Jesse wasn’t the type to make a declaration without being confident.

There were so many actions Hanzo could take. He couldn’t decide on what to do. Reciprocate? Deny? Reciprocate. Deny. Reciprocate and deny? Deny, but reciprocate. He tried to weigh the impact of his words to the reaction he would get from Jesse McCree. He wondered how long Jesse would stay there with his arms crossed and rosy ears. Maybe he’d say something else if Hanzo didn’t reply soon. There would be consequences for any path he chose. He wanted to look at the practicality of actually having a relationship. Couldn’t help it. Hanzo sighed. Practicality. 

 

Was falling in love practical?

 

“Jess”.

 

It was not something he had planned on doing. Falling in love was annoying. It distracted him from his job and from family affairs. Jesse was on his mind all the time. He spent a fair share of his spare time either being with Jesse or thinking about Jesse.

 

Jesse turned around.

 

Hanzo saw Jesse’s eyes. They were framed by his stumpy eyelashes. Jesse had a handsome pair of eyes. They weren't pitch black or light brown. They were brown. Dark brown? Darker brown. They were like the brown of chestnut or dark walnut wood. Maybe his eyes were like iron gall ink. Visibly brown. Not totally black. Hanzo observed the muted red that Jesse was trying to hide by looking away. It covered his cheeks, nose, and the tips of his ears. It was endearing, to say the least.

 

Hanzo broke eye contact. Jesse was wearing a smooth button up and a pair of gym shorts. He remembered the first time he saw Jesse in such attire. Video call. He remembered teasing the first time, not that it didn’t make sense. It made sense. There was no need to wear dress pants of only his torso and up would be visible. It never occurred to Hanzo, since the video calls he took were always at work, where it was required to look sleek from top to bottom.

 

Hanzo trailed up to Jesse’s chin and took notice of his beard. It looked quite soft, but he knew better. Hanzo almost wanted to touch it, but he knew better. He trailed up. Lips. They looked like Jesse applied a neat layer of chapstick today. Cheeks. His cheeks were the same they were before. Muted red. Hanzo had already observed his cheeks. Eyes. Jesse was looking at him. His eyes were the same as before--daring and vulnerable.

 

“May I kiss your cheek?”

 

Jesse went from stern to bashful. Jesse inched closer to Hanzo’s side. He unfolded his arms and stuffed them in his pocket again.

 

“If yer up for it, I wouldn’t mind”.

 

Hanzo took a step close to Jesse as well. They stood next to each other for a moment. It was still hailing outside. Jesse felt Hanzo’s arm against his own. It was warm. The hair on Hanzo’s arm was darker than his own.

 

Hanzo put a hand on Jesse’s shoulder and Jesse leaned down. They faced each other. Hanzo was trying to keep it cool, but Jesse could tell by the pink in his face that he wasn’t totally calm.

Hanzo placed a peck on Jesse’s cheek.

 

Hanzo let go.

 

They resumed their previous positions--a foot away, arms crossed, both looking out the window.

Jesse almost wish he had shaved that morning. Hanzo’s lips could have come into direct contact with his skin. He didn’t think his stubble was something he could ever find himself cursing, but here he was. Not that it mattered. Hanzo had voluntarily pressed a his lips on his face. It felt soft.

Hanzo resist the urge to scratch or rub his lips. They itched. He’d have to wash his face when he got the chance.

 

It was hailing outside. The little pieces of ice made small smacking noises against the window. Some of them stuck to the glass and started melting.

 

Jesse motioned for a hug.

 

They embraced.

 

Hanzo felt Jesse’s chest beat. He closed his eyes. It was more therapeutic than he wanted to admit. His heartbeat had become on of Hanzo’s favorite sounds.

Jesse felt Hanzo’s arms around his shoulders. He felt his own arms wrap around Hanzo’s torso. Hanzo’s hair smelled like apricot and honey. He wondered where he got his shampoo. What this real? What a reality.

 

Satya.

 

Jesse’s eyes widened. He remembered the conversation he had with Satya that morning. The Shimada Company, LLS.

 

Hanzo was comforting.

 

Jesse closed his eyes for a moment.

 

Company heir. Why not mention it? He tried to think of a reason, but couldn’t make one up. Jesse sniffed. Was he going to cry? Embarrassing.

 

He convinced himself to calm down.

 

“Goodbye”.

 

He let go.

 

\--

 

They were at Jesse’s favorite restaurant. It happened to be a 10 minute walk from the apartment complex. It was his favorite on the east coast. Very cosy. He loved everything down to the tiles on the floor. There were paintings and images created and captured by local artists of Latin American descent on every wall. He wasn’t big on art, but it was something he could appreciate. It was a space where he could kick back and take a breather for a few. It was like another home. The feelings he got from being in the space were the feelings he got when he thought of his childhood. It was a semi-popular place. Customers would have to make appointments if they wanted a table with no wait on the weekends.

 

They were at a round table near a set of windows. Ice water had been served. The group was currently waiting for their drinks to roll in. Jesse took a breath. Fareeha, Angela, and Hana were still discussing the result of mini-golf.

 

“Can you believe I won Marsha? I can. Good performance, me! Not perfect, but good”.

 

“You mini-golf star. How do you do it, my child?”

 

Fareeha smiled at her kid. Hana gave her a knowing nudge.

 

“Ok, but 4 real. Like with the number 4. Not f-o-r. It was my best performance so far”.

 

Angela stirred the ice in her cup with her straw. “Do you mean your best performance so fore?”

 

Fareeha kissed her wife on the cheek. “Good one”.

 

“Moms! Not in front of Jesse! He’s in the middle of a romantic rut and probably wouldn’t appreciate you two showing off the stability in your relationship”.

 

Jesse laughed.

 

Hana raised her eyebrows. “TBH, though, am I wrong?”

 

“It’s fine, Hana. I’m not as sensitive as I look”.

 

Fareeha and Angela apologized anyways.

 

He remembered last year when he was heading off. Angela tricked him into a farewell dinner that time, too. It was wild, considering it wasn’t something he’d expect from Angela. It was the day before he started driving up. Angela called him in the middle of the afternoon. She sounded concerned, like there was no hope to be had. It was about a tomato plant. She said she had bought one last week and it was on the verge of death. She said it was important that her plant stay alive, that she honest to God wanted to learn how to take care of one. There were a few things that were suspicious about this call. First and foremost, Angela was not one to have a plant on her schedule. She had too much going on--sporadic late nights, 4 AM calls. Jesse knew. She didn’t seem the type to spare the extra time she had on a plant. She loved her family too much for that. Spent all the extra time she had with them. Why spend it on some little plant? As a bonus, Jesse had been over last week and hadn’t sighted the little sprout.

 

He came over anyways.

 

Family dinner.

 

It was a wholesome moment in his life. To be honest, he could have dealt without the extra surprise factor, but he loved it.

 

There were fava beans and falafel. He loved those. Sausage and liver? Just fuck him up. German sweet rolls? Get out of town. It was the most wholesome experience he had ever had. He swore. It was the sweetest thing anyone could have done for him at the time. A home cooked meal. Fareeha and Angela blessed his stomach that night. He was all set to go that morning.

 

It was a little sad that that didn’t repeat itself this year, but he understood. Going to this place was almost as comforting.

 

Angela baited him to the destination this time with a similar excuse. She and asked him to pick up a potted cactus and texted him the address. Angela knew her target audience. Jesse was a sucker for plants. He recognized the address straight away, though. Not this time, Angela Ziegler. It came as no real surprise when he saw Angela and family standing outside the restaurant, but, howdy, was he happy to see them. It was a real treat.

 

“Jesse, you alright there?”

 

Jesse glanced across the table and saw that everyone had diverted their attention in his direction.

 

“Just thinking of old times. I’m as alright as a can of peaches”.

 

Angela started laughing. “Thanks for coming out today! We love eating with you. Fareeha’s paying since she got her paycheck this week, so order whatever”.

 

Fareeha smirked at her wife. “Angela, you didn’t have to tell him that”.

 

Angela placed an arm on her wife’s shoulders. “Sorry, dear”.

 

One of the waitstaff came out and handed them all a copy of the menu. They were left to decide.

Jesse wondered if it was best if he took over and ordered for the table.

 

Hana aah’d at the menu. “Hey, what’s horchata taste like?”

 

“Sweet”.

 

“Yes! GG, my fav”.

 

Fareeha and Angela muttered to each other about some of the menu item names. The contents of the items were listed in English and Spanish, but the names were all in Spanish. It took Angela a second to catch on to pronunciation conventions. Hor-cha-ta. Angela looked up from her menu and looked at Jesse.

 

“So, what do you recommend? I have no idea what to order”.

 

“I feel like you would enjoy one of the quesadillas, Angela”.

 

Angela squinted her eyes. “How many of the food groups does that cover”.

 

“Mom!” Hana chimed.

 

Angela smiled. “I’m joking. That sounds like quite the dish. Thank you for the input, Jesse. How does everyone feel about ordering 4 fruita picada’s?”

 

The group took the next few minutes to decipher what the wanted. Hana reached out to him for opinions on a few more dishes. Angela also consulted him about tacos al pastor. Fareeha decided on what to order with the first runthrough of the menu items. The waitstaff came out again and took their orders. Stress over, the conversation continued. Was Angela relieved.

 

“Hey, Jesse, Hanzo’s your neighbor, right? What’s that like?” Hana was quite curious.

 

Jesse grinned. “He sure is. Not sure if it’s helped or deterred from our relationship, but yeah. We see each other like every day”.

 

“Wow-za, bud. What’s that going to be like while you’re away? How’s it gonna be in an LDR?”

Jesse scratched his head and tried to come up with a plausible phrase that the acronym could stand for.

 

Hana popped a pink bubble gum stick in her mouth and told Jesse what it stood for. “A Long distance relationship”.

 

Ah.

 

Jesse didn’t know.

 

“Well, since I haven’t actually told him yet, we’ll just have’ta see”.

 

Fareeha opened her mouth in surprise. “You have not communicated your departure to Hanzo? Jesse, this is unlike you. What has deterred you from being direct?”

 

It was a little unlike him, he had to admit. But to be perfectly fair, he was notified a few days ago that he would be leaving early. 5 days, to be exact. Ok, that was almost a week's notice. The notice came straight from one of the general managers. Leave early. Soil was ready. Time to start up for the year.

 

She was a talented individual that got everyone’s asses in gear--the general manager that sent out the notice. It kept the place running. She had standards, but was flexible. If she said the 19th at noon, early morning on the 20th would slide if there was something going on.

 

Starting early wasn’t something that happened very often. He had been working at the same place for several years, now. Did not happen often at all.

 

He was surprised to receive the message at all.

 

The one time he wouldn’t mind staying for a bit longer.

 

He felt sheepish.

 

“Should’a squared up by now. You’re all right. I’m not totally sure”. He paused and speculated whether sharing some of his private feelings was appropriate for restaurant discussion. “He’s charming. I don’t want to let him down, you know? Didn’t want to be a disappointment. The thing is though, I’ve really played myself by pushing it off until last minute like this. I’m usually good at this stuff--planning”.

 

“You can’t plan romantic attraction”. Angela sneezed.

 

“The sad truth”.

 

One of the waitstaff came out with two horchatas, two licuados de fresa and four cups of fruta picada. Jesse thanked them, and they went off.

 

Hana took one of the fruta picada cups and stabbed her fork through one of the melon cubes. She took out her phone to take a photo of the cute fruit. There were different types of fruit inside of the cup--melon, watermelon, strawberries, kiwi, and a few blueberries in the bottom. She texted Lúcio the photo directly and then uploaded it on Instagram. She captioned it with a string of fruit emojis and a blue heart.

 

Her phone began to buzz with notifications a few moments afterward. She put her phone on sleep mode and tossed it back in her bunny bag.

 

“Oh, Jesse”. Hana reached over and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

 

\--

 

Hanzo was sitting with a cup of earl grey in his hands. They were in Angela’s living room.

 

“So, Hanzo Shimada”.

 

He looked up and sipped from his purple mug. Angela was still in her doctor robe.

 

“Could I get you anything else?”

 

Hanzo shook his head no. Angela folded her hands.

 

Hanzo wanted to scream. He never wanted to scream. He wasn’t sure why he came all the way to Angela’s, but here he was. That was a joke. He knew Jesse and Angela were close friends. Talking to her would give him better insight on what Jesse was going through.

Hanzo Shimada was not a man that came over to people’s homes without intention. Or at least, that’s what Angela had gathered so far from second-hand knowledge. Fareeha was her source. A beautiful source, at that. She said she and Hanzo met up once every so often due to interdepartmental meetings. She said he seemed like a nice fellow. His employees adored him, which was always a bonus. Especially Tracer, the one that ran documents all over the place. He took his job very seriously. Always on-time. Early to meetings. Fareeha wondered how he was hired. He was a gem.

 

He was also off this week. He was present to say a few things during a council gathering, but wasn’t as thorough as usual. It was like there was something on his mind. Most likely Jesse. She said that with 86% confidence. Probably Jesse. She didn’t know what pertaining Jesse, but Jesse. Not that she was complaining about his performance. Though he was distracted, he said what he needed to say.

 

Fareeha found out a few things about Hanzo, working in the same building as him. The main points were that he did not socialize very well at parties and he looked out for his colleagues. Did she mention he displaced one of the old company heartthrobs? He took over for some attractive employee that was moving to work abroad. Some hated him for taking over her job. Some were relieved that he was as much eye candy as the last individual with the position.

There was chatter about his relationship status. Fareeha personally knew an individual that was interested in him. She broke their heart by telling them Hanzo was taken. For the best. There was no point if Hanzo was dating already. Or at least she thought he was dating. She was uncertain about Hanzo’s and Jesse’s official status. She knew they were something, and decided to shield them from interference.

 

Fareeha, curious about Hanzo’s background, looked him up. One of the perks of working security--not that she partook in this sort of behavior often. Just public sources. She didn’t think anything out of the ordinary would come from the search, but it looks like she stepped in mud. He was current acting CEO for a translation company. That one caught Angela by surprise. He was also on the archery team in high school. They speculated how he could be CEO and also have a full-time job. Didn’t add up in the slightest. Fareeha deduced that he wasn’t actually acting CEO, though he was marked as active. She almost made a call to find out more, but decided not to stick her nose in where it didn’t belong. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair. Jesse worked hard to get as much information as he had from Hanzo. It almost felt like cheating, knowing more about Jesse’s romantic companion than Jesse did.

 

Hanzo enjoyed the mug he was using--it was lilac. One of his favorite colors. It had “pour vous” written in cursive below a little figure of a deer.

 

“Where did you obtain this mug?”

 

Angela tried to recall its origins. “Hana brought it back from class. She was in a printing class and the mug design was her assignment. I believe this was last year”.

 

“She is quite talented”.

 

“She’s so talented”.

 

Hanzo wondered what it would be like to have a child. It seemed troublesome, but rewarding. A time commitment.

 

“So, I can more-or-less guess why you have decided to grace my house. What is he doing that’s bothering you?”

 

Hanzo furrowed his brows and took a second to ponder the question. “Jesse left this morning”.

 

Angela smiled and reached over the coffee table to give him a consoling pat on the shoulder. 

 

“Fareeha went on this long business trip to Hanamura, once. Isn’t that where you two met? Me and Hana video called her every day. Of course, it must be harder if he’s going to be away for more than a few weeks”.

 

Hanzo took another sip of his tea. It hadn’t settled in yet that Jesse wouldn’t return until the end of the year. “What is it like for you, Angela, Jesse being one of your companions?”

 

Good question. “Well, since he likes to pop in every so often, it’s no big deal. We’ve only known each other for about a year now. He visits Ellie every so often. I would say maybe once every month or two. Maybe three. We meet up then. Last year, me, Fareeha, and Hana all took a roadtrip up to see him in the middle of the summer. It was really fun. We got to see the sort of stuff he does on a daily basis. Other than that: video calls”.

 

Hanzo nodded. “We have been seeing each other every day for the past couple of weeks. He did not tell me he was leaving until this morning. It is a little daunting”.

 

Angela tried to think of something that could make him feel better about himself. “Did I tell you how Jesse got wasted and passed out on my lawn?”

 

Hanzo looked at Angela in disbelief.

 

“I do not recall that tale, no”.

 

Sweet Jesse.

 

“It was after you moved in. Absolutely shocked at how handsome you were”.

 

Handsome?

 

Hanzo felt embarrassed. He remembered Jesse’s confession earlier in the day. Handsome. He almost couldn’t believe his ears. Hanzo smiled. That sounded like Jesse. He was a handsome fellow himself.

 

Full offense, Hanzo Shimada. That was kind of gay.

 

“How did you decide on getting together with Fareeha?” Hanzo had to ask.

 

Angela smiled. One of her favorite topics. “Are you talking about Fareeha specifically?”

They made eye contact. It took Hanzo a moment to come up with an adequate reply to the question. “Women”.

 

“Are you asking about my process of shuffling through sexual identities?”

 

Hanzo sneezed. He wanted to hear about it from someone, but didn’t have anyone in particular he could ask. He hoped this wasn’t a bother.

 

“If you could. I do not mean to impose, but I am curious. I am still trying to form my own identity, and would like to hear about your experience”.

 

Form his own identity? Angela wondered if Jesse knew about this. He probably did. Actually, he most likely did. Hanzo’s behavior around Jesse during mini-golf made sense. They felt a little distant.

 

God. Sweet Jesse. What have you gotten yourself into?

 

She wondered where to start. It was a lengthy process. She was currently 37 years old.

 

“Well, it wasn’t that much of a deal. I don’t think it was that much to deal with for Fareeha, either, but I could be wrong. Well, Fareeha’s experience was a little different. Dating anyone was mainstream at my high school. Parents were iffy on it, but changed their minds after a while. I’m so glad to have such accepting people in my life. I took my girlfriend at the time to prom. That was kind of the turning point for my parents, because they wanted to take photos of me and my date with their new camera. Typical Zieglers”.

 

She paused. Hanzo saw Angela get excited about what she was going to say next.

 

“I don’t have very much to say on the topic. Fareeha, though. She told me her parents switched over to her preferred name and pronouns the second she came out! How wholesome. I absolutely adore her mom, Ana. She’s the funniest person I’ve ever met. Love her. Sexuality was after that, I think. God, I just love accepting parents. Sorry to digress, but I had to say that Fareeha has the most wonderful mom”.

 

Hanzo took another sip from his tea. It was at the right temperature now--not to hot. Preferred name? Hanzo remembered something Jesse mentioned about that once. Oh, about Tracer. Saying how it was only appropriate to use the name someone wanted. Made sense. Pronouns? Change in pronouns? He supposed that made sense as well.

 

He moved on.

 

“I am attracted to Jesse, but am unsure what label to use for myself. How do you go about choosing a label?”

 

Angela smiled. Jesse, Jesse. Picking the straight ones. Questioning at Hanzo’s age could be difficult, but palpable. Not that there was a specific age for questioning. She sipped her coffee and decided it needed more honey.

 

“Even though I have more-or-less solidified my own identity, I just want to say that I do not have all the answers. I could go off and explain this with an allegory, but I am not going to do that. The point is, you are you. Your sexuality is what it is, and there may not even be a label to capture what you’re experiencing. There might even me multiple labels that capture what you are experiencing. Your sexuality might even change, but still consider yourself the same label. You can change”.

 

Angela took another breath.

 

“Your identity can evolve. Your identity is not stationary. This is not easy. You can choose a label if you want. You can choose more than one”.

 

Hanzo did not like uncertainty.

 

Angela waited for a response before saying anything else. Wait time was important. 30 seconds was usually enough to get her patients talking, not that Hanzo was a patient.

 

Hanzo sighed. His grasp on his cup tightened.

 

“I am certain I am romantically attracted to him”.

  
Angela smiled. “That’s all you need, really”.

 

Mercy on your soul, Jesse.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fareeha makes an appearance. Genji calls. Hanzo travels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> belated, but here! hope it was worth the unexpected wait. stay tuned till next week for the finale where I try to finish semi-nanowrimo on-time

Fareeha stepped into the living room in a turtleneck and a pair of rubber ducky pajama pants. She had a pint of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other.

 

“Hanzo, a surprise to see you in my living room”.

 

She took a seat next to Angela and spooned another mouthful of sea salt caramel ice cream out of the container. Well, wasn’t this a party. Hanzo and Angela chatting over a few cups of tea. Was that her favorite cup? The one with the deer? Excellent choice. Fareeha’s been using it at home and taking it to work since Hana made it in class. There was a coffee place near her workplace that would give a discount to customers that brought reusable containers. She had plenty of thermoses, but loved that mug too much to let it go.

 

Hanzo greeted her. “Fareeha, good evening”.

 

She wondered why he was here. Sure, she invited him to mini-golf the other day, but her home? She wondered how urgent the business had to be to deserve an in-person visit from Hanzo Shimada. It was not too big of a deal, and he might have been here for something else. She didn’t blame him if he was here to talk business. They had an approaching deadline. The concert.

 

“We were talking about Jesse’s departure today. Hanzo came over to talk about the circumstances surrounding their LDR”. Angela saw that Hanzo was at a loss with the acronym. “LDR stands for Long Distance Relationship”.

 

Ah.

 

Hanzo took another sip of his tea. LDR. He was not familiar with the abbreviation.

Fareeha remembered the term Hana had coined a few days ago at Jesse’s farewell dinner. That’s right. LDR.

 

“How are you faring, Hanzo? It is nice to see you again, and so soon at that”.

 

They had met just this week due to an interdepartmental meeting about the concert. There was a mountain of items to finalize before the thing was held. The short meeting was on the transportation of the posters. It was a trivial task, but she wanted to quantify the success of the operation before moving on to more pressing matters. People were hired for the task. Routes were set. She needed to make a few calls to confirm the date and time, organize a meeting about pre-show security procedures. She was a busy woman.

 

Hanzo sneezed. That’s right. Hanzo was here.

 

Hanzo muttered an excuse me. He spoke. “I am so-so. It is nice to see you as well, as well as Angela. This tea is quite optimal”.

 

Angela smiled at him. “Great, didn’t do a thing besides pour hot water over the tea bag”.

 

Fareeha kissed Angela on the cheek. “World’s best wife”. She put another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. “So, what was this about Jesse? Departure? If I remember, he left today, correct? LDR”.

 

LDR. Hanzo felt a bit sheepish opening up to a colleague at work, but this had to be done. He could trust her. And Angela. It’s not like Fareeha would post his personal agenda on a public forum for others to dissect. Just imagine. Worst-case scenario.

 

“I am just a tad bothered by Jesse’s departure. I am also uncertain about our romantic relationship status”.

 

Fareeha smiled. She remembered when she went off to Hanamura for an extended period of time--the merger. Angela made sure to call her every day. Hana too. Occasionally, when they were all free at the same time, they would have a joint video call. Her family was something to behold. Did those two ever sleep? Yes. Until 12 PM or even 2 PM on weekends. Fareeha knew her wife and child. This was a little different.

 

“Are you sad that he is no longer with you? It can be quite the emotional burden. We are glad you decided to visit us. It’s not the thing you can handle on your own. What are friends for?” Fareeha put her spoon in the ice cream tub and set it on the table. “You should have seen Angela crying when I went on that multi-week business trip to Hanamura”.

 

“Fareeha!”

 

Angela nudged her. Fareeha smiled.

 

Hanzo smiled as well. Their stability was reassuring. Did either of them cry about the departure? Hanzo felt his nose heat up. Not yet. Not now. He pushed it back and decided to further the conversation.

 

“He didn’t warn me. Well, it is sort of a tangle of events”.

 

He sighed.

 

“I found out through a mutual acquaintance we share. However, that was for his updated date of departure. I knew well before that he was going to leave at the end of the season. I saw the previous date marked on one of his calendars one morning”.

 

“That does sound like quite the tangle”. Angela took a sip from her tea. She tried to think of a mutual acquaintance Jesse and Hanzo could have shared besides Fareeha. No one came to mind. It was curious, not that it mattered. That brought up the question: in what circumstance could Hanzo have seen the calendar without Jesse noticing? That was digressing a bit.

 

Fareeha chimed in. “It came as a surprise to us as well--his early departure this year. I do not know much about farming. However, guessing by the 5 days of advanced notice that Jesse received about departure, it was not his original intention to leave early”.

 

5 days.

 

Quite a bit of time.

 

5 days was a lot of time to work with. He could have.

 

Hanzo was a bit upset. It was more accurate to say he was unsatisfied with the turn of events. 5 days was a lot to work with. Jesse could have reached out to him, but did not. Jesse kept silent for a reason. Did he not trust him? Was this relationship worth pursuing at all, if there was no trust between them? He needed to stop. Jesse trusted him. He knew that well. But it was still upsetting. Maybe he was just too scrupulous for his own good. Maybe he should just focus on the bigger picture--that there were mutual feelings of attraction between them, and in theory, that should be enough. He didn’t like that. He was detail-oriented. Forgive, Hanzo, like you have forgiven yourself. He looked at the tea in his mug. The cup was half empty.

 

“There are worse things to worry about”.

 

He sighed.

 

Fareeha leaned over and gave him a pat on the shoulder. She sat back down. “I have to admit, not the most  _ secure _ way to start off your LDR”.

 

“I heard that, mom!” Hana projected from the study room.

 

Fareha laughed. “I, personally, thought was a good pun”.

 

Hanzo chuckled.

 

“Are you going to go after him?” Angela asked.

 

Hanzo looked up.

 

After him?

 

“How so?”

 

“I mean by chasing him all the way to his workplace”.

 

Leaving Ellie.

 

Now, chasing after Jesse was a concept. What was more of a concept was chasing Jesse in the middle of a work week. He would have to double check with Tracer, but their week was not too busy. He could theoretically leave them, but at what cost? He did not like the idea of abandoning his colleagues without notice. Today was with notice. Something was bound to happen the day he was gone. That is just how things went. He could leave Tracer in charge. She was already his second in-command. No. It was too short notice. It could be tricky, not that he doubted that she would be able to take over. She was one of his most capable colleagues. Besides, Hanzo was skipping over something.

  
  


He didn’t know how to go about finding Jesse in the first place. He knew the general location: Illinois. He also knew one piece of secondary information: he worked at a farm of some sort. Was Illinois not a large state with a lot of rural areas that could be potential candidates? It would take weeks to find the farm Jesse worked at. It was almost helpless. He mentioned goats once, and some other type of animal. Where there farms that did not have farm animals?

 

If he left right now, he would not know where to go and he was not sure if Tracer would even want to be in charge. Hanzo, Hanzo. Sweet Hanzo. What sort of mess have you gotten yourself into? This was almost too much. However, he would have been lying if he said the suggestion did not intrigue him. It was an interesting concept.

 

“I do not think it would be such a great idea to chase him. I am a busy individual with a job. I do not know where to find him. Besides, it would not be very courteous of me to leave my team on such short notice”.

 

Angela whispered something into Fareeha’s ears.

 

Fareeha shook her head no. “I am practically on fire this week with the chores I need to get done. My schedule is packed. I’m actually about to go write up a document”.

 

Hanzo tipped his head and wondered what they could be talking about.

 

Angela expressed her disapproval. “Sad to hear! Hanzo, I was just asking if she could take over for you if you decided that going after him was feasible”.

 

Wasn’t it concert week for Fareeha? Of course it was. Hanzo wondered how she was able to keep it together under so much pressure. L úcio was a big name. She was a manager to be admired. Personally, he did not know if he would have accepted the job.

 

Hanzo pursed his lips. What would happen if he didn’t go? It was on thin ice, though they both had feelings for one another. Hell, Jesse made transparent just a few short hours ago. He loved him. Didn’t he love him back?

 

He felt impulsive. It was a 7 hour drive. He didn’t know. How bad would it be if he left for two days? One day? 14 hours of driving in one day. That meant 10 hours to talk, sleep, shower, and do anything else he needed to do. That was 24 hours. Would the place fall apart if he left on short notice for 24 hours? He did not know. He took the morning off today for the signing. The place ran just fine with Tracer.

 

Tracer.

 

She sent him an email a few hours ago about being able to complete all of the objectives he left.

He set his cup of tea on the table. “That leaves the address of his workplace”.

 

Fareeha whispered something into Angela’s ear. Angela nodded. “Hanzo”.

 

He looked over and saw the sparkle in her eye.

 

“We took a family trip to his farm once. It’s called Apricot Meadows. Do you want the address?”

 

“Would he even want to see me?”

 

Fareeha laughed. “Jesse? Not want to see you? Has Angela told you about how he passed out on the front lawn the week you moved in?”

 

\--

 

“Holy fuck, bro, are you serious? The Hanzo Shimada? Holy fuck!” Genji was on speaker. His last “fuck” was exceptionally loud. “Does that mean you like him? I’m so excited for you? Oh my God! Wait, have you had made out with him? Actually, I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me, because I seriously will consider not speaking to you again. I do not want to know if you’ve made out with him, Hanzo Shimada. But, shit! Illinois! I know you mentioned he worked at a farm, but like, not a  _ farm _ farm? Hanzo!”

 

Hanzo was on the highway. It was 1 AM. The road was busier than he expected, but that didn’t mean much. He’s stayed up until 1 AM before, but it was his first time driving. He wondered how often individuals in the United States found themselves driving at 1 AM. Did people party on weekdays? Roadtrips? Why would anyone voluntarily be up at 1 AM?

To be fair, he was driving at 1 AM because he needed to see someone. He wondered if others were doing  the same. He assumed so.

 

Genji was accompanying him on the phone. For once in his life, Hanzo was glad his sibling did not go to bed at a reasonable hour. Hanzo called as soon as he left, which was a few minutes ago. Genji’s been spurting nonsense since then. Hanzo appreciated company. Out of the select few he could call, Genji was the one that was most likely awake. And he was.

 

Hanzo’s GPS went off.

 

“Take Exit 5A in .5 of a mile”.

 

He could turn back and go home. He didn’t need to be in his office until 8:30 AM this morning. If he turned back, he could sleep a bit before heading off to work. It would be easy. He’d just need to get off the highway and turn around. He knew this area well. There was only one highway going through the city.

 

No.

 

It was decided. Apricot Meadows. 7 hours away. Had to get there. He had already crafted and sent Tracer a detailed list of instructions for tomorrow, just in case she got stuck on anything. He was hopeful. She was the one that created the schedule in the first place. She had his trust. She was a leader.

 

Hanzo grumbled. He almost couldn’t believe himself. It was something to have an impulse. His plan of action was not fully formed. He knew he had to get there and come back. That was it. All of the guts of the visit have yet to be decided. It was quite the predicament. It was a good thing he had 7 hours to sit on it. He resisted the urge to call himself a mess. This was a messy affair. He remembered why he steered away from romance for so long in his life. It was a mess. But this was like, a good mess. He wanted to do this. He was voluntarily taking a trip in the middle of the night.

 

He wondered how Jesse was doing. Jesse was probably fine. He was most likely sleeping at this point. If he left at 3, that meant he arrived around 2 hours ago if he took an hour break somewhere along the ride. He almost wanted to call and check up on how he was doing, but that did not sound like the best idea at this moment.

 

Ok, getting his ass to go on an 800 mile trip in the middle of the night didn’t make much sense. Fair. But calling Jesse at 1:02 AM was definitely not the answer to any of this. There’s no way he would respond. He didn’t know.

 

It was a pain to not know.

 

Genji continued to chatter. “Han, you sure as hell can choose ‘em. I haven’t seen you this motivated to do something since you wanted that limited edition pumpkin Pachimari. Remember the one? You spent a good 20k Yen on the claw machine. How far are you travelling again? Did you say 7 hours? Talk about yikes”.

 

Hanzo turned his turn signal on and made a right into Exit 5A. His GPS told him the next exit was in 20 miles. Goodbye red buggy.

 

“Yikes indeed. The the trip will take 7 hours and 5 minutes, if traffic does not change. I should be there by the time I was supposed to head into the office today,” Hanzo replied. “Also: nonsense. I am motivated all of the time”.

 

Genji groaned. “Ok. You get your shit done, bro. But like,  _ motivated _ motivated. Inspired. Hey, that reminds me. I have to end the call pretty soon since I’m only human and need to get some rest, but do you have music to play during your ride? 7 hours is so much. Switch it to 87.4 FM. I’m not sure when you’re going to be out of the station range, but give it a shot. It’s the station I listen to all the time. You know the one”.

 

Hanzo didn’t appreciate Genji’s taste in music much, if the car trip home from the signing was any indication. However, he did appreciate the thought. His sibling was trying to help him through the journey. “I will give it a try. Good night, Genji. I hope you are productive at work tomorrow”.

 

“Cheers. Say hi to to McCree for me. Genji: McOut”.

 

Genji hung up.

 

Silence.

 

That was a lie, of sorts.

 

Hanzo could hear the tires of his car skid across the surface of the road and the low purr of the engine. Without a voice to keep him company, he could here some of the trees swaying in the wind.

 

His world changed in the matter of a second.

 

It was a sleek road. There were yellow lights every so often that illuminated the path. The red buggy was gone, but there were several cars that took its place. A truck. A bus. Even if there wasn’t a voice to keep him company, there was human activity all around him. He wondered what it would sound like to be in a different vehicle. The people on the bus were asleep, no doubt. He wondered.

 

It wasn’t silent, but maybe he needed more noise.

 

He decided to heed Genji’s advice. Maybe listening to the radio would make the trip less lonely. Hanzo took a second to turn the radio on and tune it to the station. He heard the voice of the announcer. Hanzo sighed. Leave it to his brother to become interested in peculiar radio stations.

 

_ Hello from DJ Torb. We are coming at you live, L-I-V-E, from our radio station. Next up is  _ Euphoria _ by Loreen, requested by DieX3. _

 

Might as well. He turned the volume up and heard the intro to a mysterious song. The artist began to sing.

 

_ Why _

_ Why can’t this moment last forevermore _

 

It was going to be a long morning.

 

_ Tonight _

_ Tonight eternity’s an open door _

 

Hanzo decided to concentrate on the road.

 

_ No _

_ Don’t ever stop the things you do _

 

\--

 

It was 5 AM. Pit stop. Nutrition. Coffee. Power nap.

 

\--

 

Apricot Meadows lived up to his name and more.

 

Hanzo yawned.

 

He stretched and stepped out of his car. He was so glad that caffeine existed. He was exhausted, to say the very least. Maybe it was better to leave it at that. Talking about how he was about to drop and sleep on a patch of dusty soil 803.7 miles away from his apartment was kind of much.

 

There was a building that seemed to be the shell of a farmer’s market. It was tall, and had an elongated walkway that ran the perimeter. Hanzo could make out the shapes of folded desks underneath some of the plastic tarps. The building had many garage doors. Taking a look inside, there were more tables. These were empty. There were shelves with what looked like jam containers. Stocked up from last season, no doubt. Those were the few items he could make out. It was dark inside, with the interior only being illuminated by the light shining through the garage door windows. He stepped back. The roof was a cheerful green--like that of a guava shell. To his right was a welcome sign. It had a variety of produce items around the perimeter. The building didn’t look like it had been open since last year. Baren.

 

Time to wander.

 

Hanzo went back into his car to get his phone and then shut the door behind him. His car beeped as he pressed the lock button on his key. He took out his phone.

 

“Siri, is there a visitor center?”

 

His phone chirped.

 

“Here’s a map of Apricot Meadows”.

 

Time to head off and find Jesse McCree.

 

He made sure his shoelaces were tied and started to head off. There was a dusty road that connected what he assumed was the visitor center. It also had a sprightly green roof. It looked like a small town home--the size of a small office. There were a few bushes that looped around the construction. It had a large sign that read “Apricot Meadows: Visitor Center”. The sign also had a variety of produce decorate the perimeter. It didn’t look like it was open, but it seemed like the most reasonable place to check out first.

 

Hanzo took the two stairs up and walked onto the porch. The windows were curtained closed. He couldn’t see inside. He decided to knock on the front door and wait.

 

Empty.

 

15 minutes minutes passed. There was definitely no one inside.

 

He wondered where everyone could be. A low hum filled his ears, and he looked off into the distance. Movement. Was that a tractor? Fancy that. Hadn’t seen one of those in a while.

 

He wondered what would happen if he continued down the dusty path. He could hardly believe this was a rode he voluntarily chose to travel. Hanzo thanked himself for bringing his sneakers with the foam insoles. And his sweatpants. It looked like it would be a journey. He took out his phone.

 

“Siri, could you mark the buildings on the map?”

 

His phone chirped.

 

“The buildings are as labeled”.

 

Next building was a ways off. Maybe he’d run into someone before then.

 

There was a humming behind him--that of a car engine. He turned around.

 

A large, blue, pickup truck turned the corner and stopped in front of the Visitor Center. The farm logo was printed in white on the pickup truck door. The window scrolled down. Hanzo took a step away from the door and went back down the stairs. He looked inside of the vehicle. There was someone inside with yellow lipstick and a large pair of sunglasses. They had a red baseball cap on.

 

“Are you lost, sweety?”

 

Their voice was a relief.

 

Hanzo shook his head yes. “I need assistance getting to the right location”.

 

The person in the car took their glasses off and put them in one of the cup holders. They looked at Hanzo, standing in front of the Visitor Center with his phone in his hands.

 

“Say, are you Lucy? Lucy P.? The one intern that needed to come early because your flight was cheaper or something? The one working with Jesse this term?”

 

Hanzo wondered if it was best to play along or tell the truth. “Sorry, you must be mistaken. I am not Lucy. However, could you take me to Jesse?”

 

The person in the truck smiled. “Sure as hell can! I think he said he was checking up on the mulberry patch? Hop the hell in”.

 

Hanzo put his phone in his pocket and got in the vehicle. It smelled like car freshener. Flower-y.

“So, mystery individual. Is there something you want with Jesse? God bless you. He actually came yesterday. He looked like a hot mess, like he usually does after driving for so long. Totally out of it. If I didn’t know any better, it would sound like he was dealing with a broken heart or something. What a funny guy. I’ve never seen him so sad to leave Ellie. I think that’s where he stays over the winter. I’ve heard some nice things about that place”.

 

Hanzo buckled himself in. “I am one of his neighbors when he is in Ellie. I have some business to take care of. I did not think it could wait, so I drove over”.

 

The driver laughed. “Damn, you drove? Let’s get going then. You must be running on your last drops of juice. You can tell me all about it”.

 

They were off.

 

Hanzo smelled a variety of items as the truck started zooming along the road. Manure. Flowers. Manure. Pollen. As they went along, they began to approach a pond. It had a small pier. It looked like someone was sitting by themselves on the edge and scratching a few notes into a book. He looked ahead. There was a team of 3 fixing up a wooden sign. The driver waved to them. They all waved back. Bushes. Empty land he assumed was grazing land. Another building with a green roof.

 

They rode on for about 5 minutes, before approaching an apricot field sign. The driver turned left. The road was uneven. Hanzo grabbed onto one of the handles inside of the car. The driver spared him a chuckle and continued driving. The vehicle slowed down a bit. There were people outside that looked like they were removing covers from the trunks of some of the smaller trees. They had gloves on and hats. Not cowboy hats. Baseball caps. They passed another transportation vehicle that had sacks of fertilizer and saplings loaded on the back.

 

They went off road.

 

Hanzo gripped the handle harder. The patch of trees ended. It was a bumpy ride uphill. He wondered where the driver was taking him. Wherever they were going, he hoped it was the right place. The ride up was short lived. They reached the top of the hill and got onto another road. 

 

Greenhouse.

 

The driver stopped the vehicle.

 

“So, I would just get off here and try to find him on foot. If you have his number, you could call ‘im. I think he said he was around here”.

 

Hanzo nodded. “Thank you for taking me so far. I appreciate your kindness”.

The driver laughed. “No need to be so polite. We’re all friends here. Take care”.

Hanzo got off the truck and closed the door. He patted his pockets for his phone. “Have a wonderful day”.

 

The driver tipped their hat.

 

Time to head off and find Jesse McCree.

 

He started to wander.

 

There was not much foot traffic in this area. Hanzo could make out some people if he looked back. He stepped inside of the building entrance. It was cool inside.

 

The lights were on, so he assumed there were people occupying the space. He saw a rack of pamphlets and a welcome desk. Chairs. A rug. He walked behind them and looked around the counter. There was a sign on the wall that pointed towards the greenhouse entrance. He continued walking.

 

The hallway was lit by dim ceiling lights.

 

Glass door at the end of the hallway.

 

That was probably it.

 

He braced himself for what could be inside.

 

He sighed and took out his phone. It was only 10 in the morning.

 

He opened the door.

 

Plants. Spider plants. Mulberry plants?

 

He stepped inside and surveyed the area. He heard the sound of the sprinklers. It was empty. There was a door near the back of the greenhouse. He walked across the construction and took a peek through the window on the door.

 

Nothing else.

 

He walked back. Hanzo closed the door and decided to exit the way he came out. The door shut behind him. Why did he come in the first place? Why was he here, so far away from home? Fruitless. What if someone caught him exiting the building? He’d just have to apologize and somehow get a ride back to the main entrance. Why bother. There was reason why planning was so important. He wondered how Tracer was holding up. She was just fine. No new messages.

 

Whatever.

 

He continued walking until he reached the reception area. As empty as it was when he arrived. Why were the lights on? He took one last look at the hallway. Why did he enter in the first place? He stepped out of the building and felt the spring breeze on his skin. Maybe it was time to pack up and go home. He wondered.

 

Jesse with an orange clipboard in his hands. He was scribbling something in one of the margins and walking his way.

 

Hanzo closed the door behind him. That was Jesse.

 

Jesse continued writing.

 

Hanzo called out.

 

“Jesse”.

 

Jesse muttered a reply before looking up from his clipboard.

 

“Greenhouses open for employees today at 2 PM. Please come back at the appropriate time”.

 

“Jesse”.

 

Jesse looked up. Hanzo.

 

The breeze picked up again.

 

Jesse looked around.

 

He looked at the clipboard in his hands again.

 

They were in front of the brick visitor building that was connected to the greenhouses. They were in Apricot Meadows. They were in Illinois, the last time he checked. What was he doing here? Hanzo.

 

He paused.

 

Jesse tensed up. He pursed his lips.

 

His grip tightened on his clipboard. He could feel the coolness of the plastic on his fingers.

 

“Hanzo”.

 

Hanzo took a step forward. He had those blue shoes on--the ones with the foam insoles he liked so much. Jesse was pretty sure those were the ones with the foam insoles. Hanzo raved about them for a solid week after he got them. Jesse saw that there were bags under his eyes. Exhausted. They were a few yards away, but Jesse could tell. The summer sun hit Hanzo’s face straight on. Hanzo donned a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Where did he come from? They weren’t home.

 

How did he get all the way here?

 

How did he knew where to go? Jesse felt the radio he had clipped to his belt. Did someone take him here?

 

Was it just them?

 

Hanzo placed a hand on his chest. His heart beat escalated. He could only imagine what he looked like--disheveled, not totally there. A mess.

 

He got closer. His walk turned into a jog, a sprint. He was went faster. He extended his arms out. Jesse saw that he was coming in for an embrace and opened his own. Hanzo flew into his arms. He exerted a force that almost made Jesse lose balance. Jesse dropped his clipboard.

 

Hanzo.

 

Jesse.

 

They stood.

It was 10:02 AM. Jesse had been up for 5 hours already. 

 

Hanzo let go and placed both of his hands on Jesse’s cheeks. 

 

Hanzo’s breathing was uneven. He looked worse up-close.

 

They looked at one another.

 

What was he doing here? Hanzo Shimada?

 

“Could I kiss you?”

 

This couldn’t have been real. Jesse placed a hand on Hanzo’s cheek. Sure felt like Hanzo. Sure looked like Hanzo. What was he doing here? Jesse leaned in and closed his eyes.

He could smell the sweetness of apricot blossoms. He felt the heat of the sun on his face as his hat flew off his head. It was a sensation. He couldn’t feel but feel something--confused, touched, thankful. Satisfied. They were in eachothers arms. Hanzo tasted like gas station mints--fresh. Hanzo’s lips felt warm against his own. Just where did he come from? Jesse almost didn’t care. He felt his face flush just a little.

 

The kiss ended.

 

They both leaned in towards each other for another moment together.

 

Hanzo didn’t realize how much he would enjoy the contact. Jesse pulled him in a little closer. Hanzo ran his hands through Jesse’s hair with one of his hands. It was soft and oily. He traced it from his ear to the back of his head. Jesse’s chapstick tasted like artificial honey.

 

The kiss ended.

 

It started anew one last time. They they pulled each other in.

 

They ignored the buzzing coming from Hanzo’s pocket for as long as they could.

 

“Call from: Genji Shimada”.

 

They let go of each other and took half steps back.

 

Jesse cleared his throat. He looked around to see if there were any traces of his hat. He folded his arms behind his back and stepped away to get a better look of the area.

 

Hanzo felt the the redness in his face and the pulsing of his lips. He cleared his throat and pressed the accept button. He brought the phone up to his ear.

 

“Hello, this is Hanzo Shimada”.

 

Static.

“Zo! What’s up! It’s your bro, Jiji. Genji. Have you arrived at AM, Apricot Meadows? Figured I’d call you and check on your progress. Any sight of Jesse, yet?”

 

“Genji. I am fine. Jesse is here, too”.

 

Genji took a moment to digest the statement. “You found him? You don’t sound like you did. I thought you’d be happy about finding him. Oh, are you currently talking? I’ll call back later. Peace”.

 

Genji hung up.

 

Hanzo put the phone in his pocket and walked over to where Jesse was.

 

Jesse started walking. Hanzo followed.

 

His hat.

Jesse crouched and nabbed it off the ground. He put it back on his head and turned around. Hanzo saw Jesse unclip his phone from a holder snapped to his belt to check his recent messages. No new messages.

 

Jesse turned around.

 

Hanzo.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“To see you”.

 

“Why?”

 

He had 7 hours to figure out the guts of the operation. 7 whole arounds and then some because he took a pit stop in the middle of his trip. And a nap. He had yet to figure out anything.

 

“I wanted to see you”.

 

He remembered what Angela told him before heading off--about not being able to plan romantic attraction. He yearned. He wanted. Hanzo felt silly. Pulling an all-nighter, leaving Tracer in charge for an entire day, not being sure of what he wanted himself.

 

“You signed off your position at a company?”

 

“Satya was there”.

 

He should have known news travelled fast. It didn’t come as a surprise.

  
Jesse couldn’t believe his eyes. He brushed some of the hair out of his face. Hanzo.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo takes a nap. Tracer makes an appearance. Hanzo and Jesse have some coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the support. last chapter will roll in by this wednesday at 12am bc that's when nanowrimo is due. hope you enjoy the update! had fun writing this one.  
> shirtlessness is present in the beginning chunk after the office part of the chapter and mentioned towards the end

“I’ll be back later, but you’re free to call me if you need anything”. Jesse’s voice sounded smooth and calming.

 

Hanzo murmured in compliance. Jesse switched the lights off and shut the door behind him. He was going back to work. Hanzo appreciated how he took what would have been lunch hour to get him to rest. He hoped he was able to eat before going back into the fields. It must have been tough, being outside all day. He realized why Jesse was so attached to his hat. It was put to good use, him being outside for several hours every day. Hanzo almost wondered how he did it. It must have been a fulfilling job to quite literally see the fruits of labor when the job was near completion.

 

He was in Jesse’s room. His bed. His house. The lights were off, and as soon as Jesse exited the building, it would be just him. Hanzo Shimada. Alone in someone else’s home. It wouldn’t be the first time he found himself in such a situation, but the first like this.

 

It was a quaint house that resided on Meadows property. Two-story. White exterior. Brown roof tiles. Porch had a rocking chair.

 

Hanzo loved it the second he laid eyes on the thing.

 

Small. Decorated interior. Warm.

 

The bedsheets smelled like black vanilla and currant. He’d have to consult Jesse later about his choice in fragrances, because this was something else. It somehow felt sweet. Hanzo turned to his side. The pillow was memory foam. He felt it conform to the adjusted shape his head made now that he was resting in a different position. It had the faint smell of tobacco and orange peels. Hanzo wondered if Jesse smoked. He didn’t get the impression when he was at his apartment--no ash trays and no lingering smells. He wondered if it was an old habit. Maybe he picked it up from a friend or his parents. The smell almost bothered him, but it was very faint. He almost wondered if it was really there. Hanzo shivered and pulled the comforter over his head.

 

Something about this felt too intimate.

 

Jesse slept with foam toppers and an ominous body pillow tucked against the wall. Hanzo would not have pinned him for the type to sleep with a body pillow, but it was of little importance. Different people had different sleep habits. It was as simple as that. Hanzo almost felt like he shouldn’t have taken up the offer in the first place--Jesse’s bed. He almost wondered if it was worth it to come all the ways to Meadows. He had to say, it was a nice bed, but he couldn’t help but question whether he belonged in it, and all.

 

Soft. Soothing. Smelled nice.

 

He wondered when Jesse went to bed every day during the rest of the year--when he wasn’t in his city apartment. It was probably early. The only knowledge Hanzo had on farm living came from childhood movies. He thought of going to bed before the sun went down and waking up before the sun rose. That sort of stuff. He wondered how accurate those statements were. Jesse probably slept well. This bed was plush. Mega plush. Baby plush. Hanzo personally made the switch from futon to mattress soon after moving to the States. It was easier to seek out a mattress than it was a futon. Still wasn’t used to it. Maybe he’d have to invest in one of these. It felt like a miracle. Curiosity struck him. Jesse would not appreciate it if he took off the bed covers to look at the mattress brand.

 

Did Jesse hide items under his foam toppers? Not safe for work magazines. Were there not safe for work magazines for men loving men? Hanzo wasn’t so sure he wanted to find out. Probably. That was all he could say. As long as there was a market, there was sure to be a producer.

 

Lovers.

 

Hanzo wondered if Jesse had brought people home before. Probably. He was an attractive man. Attractive men attracted. Most likely. Surely. Did he bring people home to sleep with? Hanzo sat up.

 

The window on the other side of the room was covered with red curtains. The curtains had a few, yellow curves towards the bottom. The red contrasted with the light blue of the room. The walls were scant. It looked barren compared to his room in Ellie. Hanzo tried to recall the morning he woke up in Jesse’s room. Here in Meadows? There were a few drawings up near his desk. They were tacked to the wall. Children’s crayon drawings. He wondered where Jesse could have ever gotten them. Were there children on the farm? Maybe from the children of visitors? His desk was organized. There was a pile of manilla folders on one end, a steel table lamp on the other. A mouse pad to the side. Office supplies lined one of the table-top shelves. A card holder. God.

 

He was perfect.

 

Hanzo blamed his inability to think straight on his fatigue. Maybe it was time to head to bed. He got back down and pulled the covers over his head. Black vanilla and currant. He wanted to cry. It was perfect. He’d just have to sleep. Maybe think about how to get Jesse to sleep with him. 

 

Sleep.

 

Hanzo slept.

 

Black vanilla and currant.

 

\--

 

“Boss, you’re back!” Tracer dashed from across the hallway with an arm-full of manilla folders. “How are you, love? Want a report from yesterday? It was a wild productive day. I tried to take care of everything. I sent you a summary email yesterday, but just to reiterate: the coffee machine almost caught on fire, but it did not. No one got hurt. I also stayed after hours to run a few tasks. I figured I should take care of my own job, and all. I’ve already submitted the documentation for overtime”.

 

Hanzo adjusted his tie and they stepped into the elevator. Tracer was a beam of sunshine, ready to go so early in the morning. He wondered how she managed. Pun intended. “Thank you for your leadership during my temporary leave. I appreciate the effort you put into guiding the team yesterday. I cannot express my gratitude”.

 

Tracer laughed. She transferred the folders she had from one arm to the next. “Boss! You’re such a sweetheart. It was no problem. I expect a bonus at the end of the term, though, or some type of compensation. Can’t be running around and doing that sort of stuff for free, and all. You owe me one!”

 

The door shut and Hanzo pressed the button to their floor.

 

“I have no direct control over the bonus you will receive for your stay, and am unsure of whether you will receive a bonus at all. However, I will make sure to put in a word on your behalf. I will let you know. However, in any circumstance, I do owe you one”.

 

It was 8:12 in the morning and Hanzo was running on a few hours of sleep. That was a lot more than he had the day before. He was grateful for every moment he was able to rest after commuting from Meadows. 7 hours was no joke, especially after driving the same distance that very morning. Hanzo hadn’t even checked his email yet. That was a dangerous thing to do. They piled up faster than he would ever like them to pile up--emails, that is. He almost dreaded checking his inbox. His phone went off with a buzz. He patted down his pockets and took it out of his coat.

 

8:12 AM

Genji (Jiji) shimada

item for pickup upstairs for one hanzo shimada come and get it b4 u get 2 ur office this mornings its p important

 

Hanzo pushed another floor button. Genji? At work so early in the morning? He wondered what it could be, considering he never saw Genji in the morning. Maybe Fareeha had him working overtime due to the concert coming up. Hanzo’d just have to go up there and ask. Fareeha did what needed to get done to reach goals under time restraints. Maybe Genji came in early to see what it was like to head home early.

 

“What was it?” Tracer asked.

 

“I will be a few minutes late to the office, since I have to pick an item up from Ms. Amari’s”. Item for pickup, says Genji.

 

She ah’d. “Gotcha, I’ll notify everyone that’s here already. No sweat at all”. The elevator pinged and Tracer motioned to get off. She gripped her folders so they wouldn’t fly off as she dashed to her destination. “See you in a bit”.

 

Hanzo waved.

 

The door closed.

 

Package for one Hanzo Shimada. Hanzo wondered how Genji’s desk job was going, all else squared away. Where was he living, anyways? Father’s States home? That was a ways away from here. It was close to the Company. Maybe he shared an apartment with a few colleagues or made a downpayment already for a home in the area. He wondered if he was taking care of himself. Did he know how to cook? Hanzo thought he was alright in front of the stove, but Jesse was so much better than him at making something out of food that was laying around. It was almost a joke. He couldn’t compare himself to Jesse. He was phenomenal. Phe-nom-enal. It was ridiculous, and also the reason why his transition from having a personal chef to living by himself was easy.

 

Part of the reason why he went to Jesse’s so often.

 

Part of the reason he couldn’t get him out of his head now, standing alone in a moving elevator.

Having a personal chef was so easy. Hanzo bought cookbooks the day before he left. He’s maybe tried 3 or 4 recipes the time since purchasing them. It was almost laughable. He wasn’t helpless--he knew how to make several basic dishes. Knew how to feed himself. Scrambled eggs, rice. That eel he made for Jesse once was the most advanced recipe he knew. He took a cooking class once, because knew the recipe was going to be taught.

 

He could hire one now, easy. A chef to come in and prepare some of his meals. It didn’t seem practical. What would Jesse think? It stressed him out. Buying takeout often was almost as bad.

 

The elevator pinged and the door opened.

 

He stepped onto the floor.

 

Lúcio’s face was collaged onto one of the boards. Hanzo never seized to be amazed by how intensely Fareeha’s colleagues wanted to have the aesthetically pleasing work space. Where did the time come from? Lunch break, perhaps? It was an intense collage. Hanzo couldn’t imagine how long it took.

 

He continued walking and spotted Genji typing away on his laptop. He was seated at his desk with a cup of coffee, two oranges, and a legal pad full of notes. That and his office supplies. Hanzo stopped next to his desk and Genji looked up at him. Genji looked like he was managing. Probably went to bed early to compensate for the extra time ne needed to be awake that morning.

 

“Hanzo! You’re here. Give me one second to finish up this sentence and I’ll get your thing for you. Straight from Ms. Amari. She got them for you yesterday, but held onto them because you weren’t in your office. Did you tell her about your trip? I figured Tracer stopped by before I arrived on the scene and told her you were gone for the day. She seemed to know it was a trip and not a day off”. Genji took a moment and looked at his legal pad. He went back to his computer screen and punctuated his sentence. Done for now. He got up and went to Fareeha’s office.

 

Hanzo wondered. Did Genji know the extent of their relationship? Him and Fareeha. There was not much to be said. He wondered what it would sound like if he said Fareeha was the one that convinced him on taking the trip in the first place. Hanzo figured that would only boost his image of her. It would add a bit of deviousness to her collected persona. He saw Genji enter Fareeha’s office and come out with a yellow clasp envelope. It had Hanzo’s name on it in black Sharpie. Suspicious.

 

Genji handed it to him and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Concert tickets. Be grateful. She’s a busy woman but took the time to get them for you”.

 

He took a seat at his desk and sighed. “Have you gotten to meet her wife and kid, yet? Just out of curiosity. They sound like such a great bunch. She likes to brag about them all the time”.

Hanzo nodded. “She has a wonderful wife and daughter. I saw them before going off on my trip, in fact. They are an amicable family, and I admire their humor. Their child, Hana, is quite talented. She designed a mug for one of her college classes”.

 

Genji’s mouth dropped. “Get the fuck out of here! Hana ‘D.Va’ Song? You get all of the luck. We’ve all been trying to get Fareeha to get Hana in here for bring your kid to work day. Hana’s a celebrity. Fareeha says she doesn’t know if Hana’d be interested. Isn’t that so sad? Hook us up. Let her know that the demand is present”.

 

Hanzo made a mental note to speak with Fareeh later. “I will send her a personal note later today”.

 

Genji smiled. “That reminds me. Talk to me later about Jesse. I gotta know what’s going on. Catch you later, alligator. Ms. Amari wants the rest of the notes in this legal pad transcribed by 11”.

 

Hanzo thanked him for the package and headed off to his own office. He pressed the down button and waited for it to arrive. It would take a moment. He was left with his thoughts.

He felt the surface of the envelope. It felt like the continents were all along the bottom. He undid one of the clasps and pulled the envelope open. He reached inside and took out a handful of tickets that were rubber-banded together. Interesting. He looked inside of the envelope to see if anything else was inside, and saw a paper copy of the spreadsheet Tracer had made for quantifying ticket requests. A miracle. He had forgotten he had requested the tickets at all, with recent events.

 

Having a personal life was quite tedious. People were tedious. Interpersonal relationships were tedious. But he had fun. He did not regret any moments he had spent with anyone this past month. It was incredible to see his horizons grow and take on new forms. He was probably gay. Bi? Pan? Most likely. Certainly. Something. Part of him wanted to go into denial about the whole affair, but he knew that it would not change what he was feeling. He sighed. It was hard. He wondered. Labeling himself was still a stressor. He tried to remember what Angela said, about not needing to choose a label if he did not want to. He wanted to, just didn’t know what fit him best quite yet.

 

If he and Jesse got married, would he change his last name? Would Jesse change his? Would either of them have to change names? Name changes were not necessary, but would either of them want to? That was taking it a step too far, but he couldn’t help but wander into the uncharted.

 

A miracle.

 

It was a miracle to have stumbled into so many caring people. Fareeha, Hana, Angela, Jesse. 

 

All of them.

 

The elevator pinged and he stepped inside. Hanzo pressed one of the buttons for the ride down and his finger lingered on the cold steel.

 

The elevator was steel. It was a moving, metal box. It was a space to laugh about an office joke and stand in silence. People came and went. It was a space that people got on and off of. The button felt cold. Laughs and smiles were not. He took his finger off of the button. He couldn’t have imagined the complexity of the space before branching out and making lasting relationships. He found himself used to wondering why people would bring vibrant emotions into the workplace--despondency and jubilance. Emotions trailed people. People inhabited the office. People would be in the elevator, feeling. He sounded like an art student.

 

Delving into emotions a tad more than he cared for.

 

He wondered how he would make his subordinates feel when he presented them the tickets. He hoped they would enjoy themselves.

 

He wondered if Jesse would have enjoyed himself, if he was still around.

 

Jesse looked like he would enjoy a concert.

 

Jesse McCree.

 

The elevator pinged and he got off. Tracer was waiting for him to unlock his door so she could get inside. It was time for office supplies to be restocked, and she wanted to try filling out the request form to maintenance.

 

“What are those, boss?”

 

Hanzo got out his keys and jimmied the door open. “One moment. Has everyone arrived, yet?”

Tracer licked her lips. “Sammie and Rimona arrive in an hour, I think. You know that. Does this have something to do with that envelope?”

 

“The Concert tickets for Lúcio’s Go Heart tour have arrived”.

 

“No way! You actually got tickets?”

 

Hanzo opened the door and propped it open with a wooden door stop. He nodded. Tracer stepped inside.

 

“No way! No way! Oh my God. Boss!”

 

Hanzo heard the enthusiasm in her voice. It almost sounded like she was about to cry. “Thank you for organizing the form, Tracer. I appreciate you taking initiative by taking a count of the number of tickets. I only helped by passing the information along”.

 

Tracer smiled. “Aw, shucks. You’re embarrassing me. Can’t wait to tell the rest of ‘em! Could you help me take inventory, first? What exactly are we missing, now?”

 

“I believe we are missing red expo markers, masking tape, and thumb tacks”.

 

\--

 

There was a knock at the door. Hanzo jolted up at the sound of the noise. He felt his wrist for a watch and realized he didn’t bring one. He examined his clothing. T-Shirt. Sweats. Gym socks.

He was in Jesse’s room. 

 

Jesse opened the door and stepped through. Hanzo lifted the bed sheets over his body.

He turned the lights on and closed the door behind him. Hanzo noticed the mud on his boots and wondered where that came from. Hanzo wondered how long he has been out cold. Hopefully not for long. He heard Jesse yawn and saw him drop his hat onto the seat of his desk chair. It looked to be in the same condition as it was before.

 

Hanzo saw Jesse’s hair. Not a rare sight. Just appreciating the view.

 

Jesse scratched his chest and started to unbutton his shirt. He stopped half way down and made his way to his drawer. He opened the second shelf down and started shuffling through the continents. Hanzo could make out more flannel and a forest green t-shirt. Jesse took out the forest green t-shirt and examined it for a bit before deciding it was the shirt he wanted to wear. Jesse finished unbuttoning his shirt before Hanzo realized what was happening.

 

“Jesse”.

 

Jesse jumped. He pulled his shirt closed and looked over to the corner of the room, where Hanzo was in his bed.

 

“Hanzo!” Jesse wiped his forehead with the back of one of his hands and looked at the rest of the room. “Sorry, I forgot I left you in here”.

 

They made eye contact.

 

Jesse looked away and started to button up his shirt. “Sorry for sort of flashing you, there. How was your nap?”

 

Hanzo wondered what would have happened if he had called out at a later time. Nothing good. “I feel more rested than before. Thank you for lending me your bed for the second time. I appreciate the gesture”.

 

Jesse sighed. “Good to hear you’re alright”.

Hanzo yawned. It was time to be awake. He shifted off of Jesse’s twin mattress and onto the ground. Time to be a real person. He didn’t want to be a real person. He wanted to sleep until tomorrow, despite that being an impractical impulse. He almost yawned again. Coming all the way over here was an impractical impulse, but that did not stop him from coming over here. Did it really matter if he slept until tomorrow?

 

Yes.

 

He had to drive all the way back.

 

Hanzo wondered how Tracer was holding up.

 

“How was your morning?” Hanzo asked.

 

“Good. Productive”.

 

Jesse wanted to ask how Hanzo’s morning was, but he realized he had to have spent it traveling to be here in the first place. He wondered if Hanzo drove up or transported by some other means. 

 

“Want to talk over coffee?”

 

“Absolutely”.

 

They travelled downstairs.

 

Hanzo was led down the wooden steps. The hallway was white. Brown fairy lights looped around the railing. They looked like they would turn yellow once plugged in. An interesting choice of decor. Hanzo made a mental note.

 

His kitchen was larger than the one in his apartment. It had an island counter with a marble countertop. The stove had a double oven. Steel. There was an espresso machine on the counter next to the refrigerator. Hanzo wondered if Jesse knew how to use the machine. Hanzo himself didn’t know how to use the machine. Didn’t know how to even turn it on. Paper towel roll with little fish printed on it, a bowl full of fruit, flowers. It was a nice space. Hanzo wondered if the building and appliances were funded by Meadows itself.

 

Hanzo took a seat at a counter and saw Jesse put water in a kettle. Instant coffee. Fair enough. He saw Jesse take out two mugs and set them aside for later. They were white--ceramic with a few swirls on the side.

 

“Do you want anything to eat? Toast?”

 

Hanzo shook his head no. “No thank you”.

 

Jesse took a seat across from Hanzo at the island counter. Hanzo looked a bit perkier than before. They didn’t get much talking done when they were outside, near the greenhouses. Hanzo looked like he was on the verge of collapsing. Their conversation fell short. Jesse offered to take him to his house after realizing he was probably dealing with exhaustion. They went to his house. Jesse offered him the bed. Hanzo got in it. Jesse left to continue on with his day. Simple as that.

 

Not really.

 

He couldn’t stop thinking about how Hanzo was in his bed. Like that wasn’t a big deal for him. The Hanzo Shimada, the guy he’s been after. Him. It wasn’t the first time he’s let Hanzo have his bed. The had that sleepover. Hanzo slept in his bed that night. It happened. They didn’t talk about it again. Jesse convinced himself to getting some shuteye after a few hours of going back and forth in his head about how Hanzo was sleeping in his room. It was a mess.

 

This was a mess. Friends liked to come over to his room sometimes for an extra pair of socks or sunscreen. When they wanted to sleep over, they’d use one of the guest rooms. Jesse wondered why he didn’t put Hanzo in one of the guest rooms. It didn’t even cross his mind. Hanzo was a guest. He was going to serve him coffee in a few minutes.

 

Could have avoided flashing Hanzo some of his chest and torso.

 

Jesse was a little self-conscious when it came to Hanzo.

 

Good grief.

 

“I am sorry if I interrupted your schedule with an impromptu visit”.

 

Hanzo sounded serious. Jesse wondered how to respond.

 

“No, no, just a bit surprised to see you and all, in the flesh”. He paused. “Did you drive up?”

Hanzo nodded. “Yes. I did not realize how taxing a 7 hour ride would be”.

 

That made Jesse smile a little. It was rough, and he was thankful he only had to do it once a year.

 

“Yeah, it can be real hell, especially going through some of the less crowded parts of the country. It’s wild to not see any other cars on the road, let me tell you”.

Hanzo knew.

 

Silence.

 

It was nice.

 

But he had to break it.

 

“Jess”.

 

“Yes”.

 

“I came to visit you because I did not want you to leave”.

 

Jesse nodded. “I figured so. I didn’t really want to leave, but I did”.

 

Jesse wondered what he wanted out of this. Hanzo was right in front of him, practically saying he liked him too. He wondered if it would be better to leave it at that, though they could take it further if they wanted to.

 

“Could you give me the details about your managerial position at the Shimada Company? Is that what it’s called?”

 

Hanzo nodded.

 

The kettle started to whistle and Jesse went off to make the coffee. Hanzo took the moment to ponder what he could say.

 

“For you”.

 

Jesse placed a mug of coffee in front of him. It smelled like pumpkin. Unusual, for this time of year.

 

“Thank you”.

 

Hanzo grabbed the mug by the handle and blew into the drink. It was too warm. He’d need to let it cook down first. The closer he got, the better he could smell the aroma coming from the drink. Hanzo set it down on the counter.

 

“I want to open up by first stating that I am sorry for not being open about my position. I realize that even though my position was public, I did not disclose the information with you or anyone else that was not directly correlated with the Company. Though I held the title up until a day ago, I had the title the entire time we were seeing each other. The reason I moved into the complex in the first place was because I was making plans of discarding the title, and wanted a change in pace. I wanted to try out what it would be like to live a life outside of the Company. I enjoyed my time”.

 

Hanzo looked at Jesse. He continued.

 

“I enjoyed my time with you. I enjoyed it so much, that you became one of the motivating factors for me to leave the company behind. I understood that if I wanted to continue seeing you, as well as the other friends I made while taking leave, I would have to, in some way, relinquish my title. I am no longer affiliated with the Shimada Company, LLS. However, I understand that hiding this information from you was not the best decision, though the Company leadership decided it be hidden that I was spending time away. My position was officially signed off yesterday in the morning”.

 

Jesse wondered what Hanzo’s life been up to this point. A lap of luxury in some form. He stirred his drink with a spoon. “Does your family run it?”

 

Hanzo nodded. “Family-owned business that has been passed on over the generations. It has begun to grow into a different entity. The reason I am residing in the United States now is due to a recent company expansion. Fareeha was actually involved in the process, which is how I originally became acquainted with her. She was on the expansion team as head of the security division”.

 

His drink was probably cool enough to drink. He took a sip and burned the tip of his tongue. Not cool enough just yet.

 

He was intrigued. Jesse didn’t expect Fareeha to be involved in the mix at all. He didn’t recall her mentioning anything about meeting Hanzo besides ALAM meetings.

 

“What was your position, exactly? The one that you resigned from?”

 

“CEO--Chief Executive Officer. I held the position for a few weeks before it stressed me to wanting to take leave. There were a few other factors that played into wanting to take leave besides the job. I also had to deal with the death of my father and my strained relationship with my brother, Genji. You have met him. Our relationship is no longer as sour. We actually have begun to be on good terms. It is quite nice”.

 

Jesse felt sorry at the sound of the death of Hanzo’s father. He wondered about the complexity of their relationship and what it meant when a company was involved. Jesse himself had found family in unexpected places. He wondered what it was like for Hanzo.

 

“It’s a shame--your father”.

 

Hanzo wasn’t so sure. It was a topic with mixed feelings. “I am glad that that portion of my life is no longer relevant, for what it is worth. It is complicated, especially considering my mother. I have not seen her since I was a child. I hope she doing just fine”.

 

Jesse couldn’t help but agree. “Bless her soul”.

 

Hanzo sighed. “Is there anything else that you would like to ask me?”

 

Jesse wondered.

 

They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the taste of the coffee and the presence of each other. It was nice to sit in silence sometimes. Jesse thought it was nice to have someone around. The house didn’t seem as lonely. Hanzo appreciated being able to sit in the place Jesse called home. Hanzo’s ears perked at the hum of an engine. It was a faint sound that became larger until it reached its peak and then diminished. Probably another tractor. Fancy that.

 

“Jess”.

 

“Yes?”

 

The grip Hanzo had on the mug tightened a little. He felt a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.

 

“I love you too”.

  
“I know”.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hana streams. Concert shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter! thank you all so much. this is the first time ive finished a fic so large. time to validate that word count over on the nanowrimo website! im so glad that all of you took this journey with me. hope you enjoy! there's some Portuguese near the bottom, lmk if it's off. revisions will start sooner or later! havent gotten the chance to proofread this massive thing since i started this semi-nanowrimo challenge  
> edit: changed Jesse's last line

“Hello, this is D.Va here coming at you live from my room. As you may know, Lúcio’s first concert for his Go Heart tour is today, 03/21. Can you believe it? The fated day has arrived. I know all of you are excited and have been excited since the tour was announced. Honestly, I’m with so. So stoked. We have so many surprises waiting for you today. What do you have to say about this, Lúcio?”

 

Hana passed it on to Lúcio.

 

Lúcio laughed at the camera and waved. “Pretty good, D.Va. It’s going to be an amazing time, and I can’t wait to share the experience with all of you attending. For those not attending, there’s going to be a livestream of the concert on my website. There should be a link in the description bar. You should also find links to the charities we’re promoting in the bar as well. Ellie Concert Pavilion, attendee entrance begins at 6 PM. Can’t wait to see you there, and if not, for you to join me online”.

 

He was a mix of excited and nervous. A load of stuff he had to do before starting the tour, like pack his clothes. Hana realized he had to go through his last minute checklist and offered to do a special morning stream. This was it. 11 AM. Hana made sure to go to bed by 12 AM last night, so she could wake up, get dressed, eat, and start the stream without a hitch.

 

“Thanks for taking the time to come out here and joining us for our stream this morning. I know, folks, it’s an early one, but for a good reason. Get a load of this!”

 

There was a bit of dissent in the chat room. Hana always managed to pull one on her fanbase. They vocalized concern about what she had in store for them. Hana continued her announcements.

 

“For any of you that missed the opportunity to purchase a concert ticket, or were otherwise unable to get your hands on one, we’re having a D.Va Drawing! I know! Amazing! Come back every hour on the hour until 5 PM today for the chance to win a ticket to Lúcio’s concert today! We will be giving out 2 every hour. That means 2 chances to win, for a total of 12 shots at getting to go. Link to the Drawing is in the description bar down below”.

 

Hana pointed down, motioning to the description bar.

 

“First Drawing is at 12 PM!”

 

The chat room was full of exclamation points and cheers. DieX3 left a comment that told everyone to leave it to Hana to keep them on their toes. Hana laughed at that one. She continued.

 

“For now, we’ll be having a Q&A session with Lúcio fuelled by questions you all submitted during my last stream. Thanks again, Lúcio. I know you have a busy day today, with all of that concert prep. Hope you get everything done, and I honestly mean that. Straight from the bottom of my heart. Right everyone? Send in those warm wishes! Each and everyone of them is much appreciated. If you have suggestions for more questions, feel free to comment in the chat. Ready Lúcio?”

 

Lúcio remembered the extremity of the last time he had a Q&A session with Hana. Frogs. Romantic interests. Hobbies. He was asked a questions about his favorite type of soap. That was an odd one. Environmental activism. Political activism. He sighed. Lúcio could only guess what questions would be thrown at him this time, all considered. They were usually fine, but he got some odd balls once in awhile.

 

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, D.Va. Lay it on me. What do you have instore for me this morning?”

 

Lúcio and Hana fist bumped.

 

Hana laughed.

 

If only he knew.

 

\--

 

Fareeha made a call to Hanzo’s personal phone that afternoon. She’s been at the Pavilion since 9 AM. Sharp. Fareeha and a few of her colleagues would be rotating in and out until the concert ended that evening, and then stay until Lúcio left the building. She was slowly making her way down her list of items to take care of before the show started. Along the way, she also refined her list of tasks to be accomplished during showtime and after showtime. She reminded herself about how important it was to stick to the objective. She was glad a few of her colleagues volunteered to tag along.

 

She heard Hanzo’s phone go off a few times before ending the call. She would just have to call later. There were things to get done.

 

She turned the corner and stepped into Lúcio’s dressing room. There were a few people making sure everything was in order. Looked like they were set. She decided to seek out the stage manager for some last minute questions about the setup around the ticket box, but didn’t know where she was. Fareeha decided to take a detour by cutting through the state. Maybe the manager was in her office. Maybe she was running around getting everything ready.

 

She stepped on stage.

 

Fareeha wondered what it would be like to have a full audience this evening. She could have a look from backstage during the show if she really wanted to, but she was needed elsewhere during showtime. It was a vast seating area. Large pavilion. A lot of grass. Sound and light hut near the very back. She wondered what would happen if it decided to rain. Nothing much. The ground was a bit moist from the hail a few days ago. All of it melted when the temperature rose and stayed around 60 degrees. Left the audience area wet. Tarps were set up as a means of precaution. The pillars that held up the tarps stood several feet off the ground. Whatever the weather, it was not going to hinder the concert. Security guards had their jackets.

 

There were people on the ground level setting up the fences for the audience and mats for equipment transportation. Fareeha wondered how long it would take for the grass to recover after the concert was over.

 

She continued her walk across the stage, into the building, and made it back to where the offices were. Time of Show: 7:00 PM. Audiences were a mess. The show would probably start around 8 PM. That’s how it went around here. She knew. Fareeha wanted to yawn.

 

Her phone went off.

 

“Call from: Hanzo Shimada”.

 

She unclasped her phone from the holder attached to her belt. 

 

“Call from: Hanzo Shimada”.

 

She pressed the green accept button and held the phone up to her ear. She kept walking.

 

“Hello, this is Fareeha Amari’s personal cell phone. I am Fareeha Amari, ALAM Security Chief”.

 

Static.

 

“Greetings, this is Hanzo. I received a call from this number earlier today”.

 

“Yes, yes, I called you. How are you this morning? I heard you gave your office the day off?”

Hanzo was at home, sitting in a pair of gym shorts and fuzzy socks. And a t-shirt. And tea. He was taking the morning to destress.

 

“That is affirmative. Thank you again for going through the trouble of obtaining tickets for my department. I appreciate your kindness under the pressure of an upcoming deadline”.

Fareeha nodded, though there was no one in sight. “It is my pleasure. It was the least I can do. I heard Tracer organized the list. She’s quite capable. Does she want to work with you for another term? If she’s tired of you, she can apply to my office. I’ve sent her an email about the invitation. Just letting you know”.

 

Hanzo laughed at that one. “She’s quite in demand”. He paused. “What this the purpose of your call?”

 

Fareeha wished.

 

She smiled.

 

“No, I am actually calling about the concert today. I am under a bit of pressure, and would like it if you could come in two hour before audience attendance for some assistance. I would appreciate it if you could make it, but understand if you cannot. However, I would very much appreciate it if you did. There is a lot to get done, and I need someone with a bit of experience under their belt”.

 

Hanzo weighed working on his day off to staying home and doing nothing. He hadn’t planned on coming to the concert in the first place. His co-workers seemed ecstatic about it. Maybe it would be fun to go and run around behind stage. It would also make Fareeha’s life easier if he attended. There was nothing to do that day, anyways. Hanzo would most likely get tired of staying at home before the afternoon arrived. Lounging around was nice, but there was only so much he could take before feeling the need to be active.

 

Maybe he should go.

 

“It would be my pleasure to assist you”.

 

Perfect. Another check on Fareeha’s list.

 

“I will meet you at the rendezvous point. Rendezvous point: security entrance of the Pavilion. Have someone let you into the building. Tell them I sent you. They’ll page me and I’ll confirm that you should actually be let in. Thank you”.

 

\--

 

Hanzo opened up his closet and decided on what to wear. Concert. Backstage. A suit would suffice. He took a clean one off of the wrack.

 

\--

 

He made his way up the stairs and saw Fareeha having a chat with one of the security guards. Whatever she was saying, she finished it fast and waved goodbye. The security guard thanked her and continued walking down the hallway. Fareeha checked something off on her clipboard and turned the page. Chop, chop, chop.

 

“Fareeha, hello”.

 

Fareeha turned to him. “Ah, there you are. Early. Good. Nice attire. I need you to deliver a box to the audience entrance. It’s near the sound and light hut. The place where the audience will be entering the Pavilion. You will need to exit and take a walk outside. It won’t take too long”. She took a breath and went over to shake his hand. “Thank you for coming, you are providing quite the bit of relief by being here. The box should be delivered in about 15 minutes. You have time to sit around for about 5 or 10 before actually heading outside. In fact, I would wait about 5 or 10 before heading out. I am not sure anyone is currently outside to receive the package”.

 

She patted down her pockets for her phone and took it out of her left blazer pocket. Fareeha turned the screen on to check for messages. None. Good. She didn’t want anything else stacked onto her plate at the moment. There was more she had to do. She put the phone back where she found it. Fareeha continued.

 

“You can call me once the contents of the box have been put away. I’ll give you something else to do. Thank you once again. Almost forgot, but the box is sitting near the security entrance. You passed it when you came in. It should not be a problem to find”.

 

Hanzo nodded. “Good luck, Fareeha”.

 

Hanzo waved and Fareeha walked off with intention. Her shoes clacked against the wooden floor of the hallway. She disappeared behind a corner and Hanzo heard her type in a few digits on her phone. Another moment, another call.

 

Hanzo scouted a bench and took a seat. 5 minutes. That would mean 4 PM sharp.

He wondered what the contents of the box were. It picked his curiosity.

 

He got up and went to find it.

 

Fareeha said it was a blue box. He reached the end of the hallway and the wooden floor became a green carpet. Down the steps where he came. Security entrance, indeed. He found it. Easy. It was small, about 2x1x1. It looked like one of the boxes used to drop off printing paper in his office. He wondered how heavy it would be to lift. Fareeha wouldn’t give him a task he couldn’t perform. As he approached, he saw that Fareeha’s name was scribbled on top with a black Sharpie. Hanzo recognized the handwriting. It was Tracer’s. Looks like Fareeha asked another favor yesterday, because he did not remember this being requested of him.

 

Hanzo crouched down and lifted the box up. It was not that heavy. That was relief. It felt like there were a few stacks of paper inside, but not enough to fill the entire box. He took an educated guess at the content. Charity pamphlets.

 

He decided to head out early.

 

It was nice outside. It was a bit moist, but nice. The sun was out. Little to no clouds at all. It felt to be about 18 degrees Celsius. Hanzo didn’t bother with the conversion to Fahrenheit. Nice weather in Fahrenheit was about 60, if he recalled correctly. Didn’t matter. Irrelevant. He wondered why the United States used such an obscure measurement system.

 

He searched for what could be considered the entrance of the venue. Sound and light hut. He followed the audience rails around the front of the stage and turned so he would be walking away from the stage until he was in front of a small hut with white tarps. Fareeha wasn’t joking when she said he would need to take a walk outside. He walked and felt the grass flatten under his steps. The sun hit his face. Maybe he should have worn a pair of sunglasses.

He set the box down in front of the entrance when he got there. There was a gate next to the white sound and light box, as well as a podium. He heard grass crunching in the distance. Someone was coming his way. He got out his phone. Might as well wait for them to get here.

 

“Siri, what’s the weather?”

 

His phone beeped.

 

“It is currently 65 degrees. Here is your weekly forecast”.

 

Sunny ‘till the end of the week.

 

“Hanzo”.

 

He almost dropped the phone in his hand. Way to be caught off guard.

 

Hanzo turned around and found Jesse in a fitted blazer, a button up, pair of dark wash jeans and dress shoes.

 

Semi-formal.

 

“Jesse”.

 

Hanzo wondered what he was doing here, of all places. Did he drive? Take some other means of transportation? Hanzo wondered if Jesse asked himself these questions when he took an unprecedented day off to visit Meadows. In a moment, there were so many things he wanted the answer to. There was no reason why Jesse should be here. There was no reason why he should be here at this moment, where Hanzo was too. Looks like Fareeha was utilizing all of her resources. Hanzo doubted that Fareeha actually outsourced to Jesse for concert help. That was too much.

 

“Nice suit, Hanzo”.

 

“Thank you. I also like your attire”.

 

Hanzo noticed the small, black stars on Jesse’s button up, and decided that he wanted the shirt for himself. He wondered if Jesse would let him keep it if he asked. They were around the same size.

 

Jesse gave him a bashful smirk. Hanzo smiled back.

 

Jesse went around him and crouched down to open the box. “Are these the fliers?”

 

Hanzo got down with him to be present for the reveal. “Fareeha did not tell me. I assume so”.

They were right. Looks like Lúcio requested more than just a few signs and cards. Also looks like Tracer went out to and purchased recycled printing paper for the task. Being sustainable was always a bonus. Hanzo was sure Lúcio himself would appreciate the attention to detail for the matter.

 

There was a small podium near the entrance gate. Jesse took a stack out and placed it in one of the shelves. Hanzo followed by taking out another stack and stocking another shelf in the podium. It took a few moments to unload the fliers and shuffle them around until they fit. When they were done, Jesse took a utility knife out of his blazer pocket and started deconstructing the box. Hanzo took it when Jesse finished cutting through the tape and folded the box down until it was flat.

 

Teamwork.

 

They got up.

 

Jesse brushed the knees of his jeans. “Thank you kindly”.

 

Hanzo nodded. He took out his phone to take a look at the time. He had a new message from Fareeha.

 

4:12 PM

Fareeha Amari

Task after you’re done: catch up with Jesse. After you’re done, come back with him for the concert. I heard Hana has something lined up for you two. I wouldn’t miss it.

 

Hanzo passed his phone off to Jesse, and Jesse looked at the message.

 

“Fareeha’s mighty kind”.

 

“Did you know she set us up?”

 

Jesse smiled. “I asked her, so I could meet up with you. I wasn’t sure what your work schedule 

looked like today and wanted to surprise you”.

 

Hanzo patted him on the shoulder with his free hand. “Unnecessary”.

 

Jesse laughed at him. “Sorry. Just a little. But isn’t this nice? I swear I didn’t ask her to tell you to catch up with me. That was out of her own volition”.

 

They started walking inside to find a recycling bin. Around the perimeter they went.

Jesse spent a fair amount of time worrying about what Hanzo would say if he showed up. Jesse took the weekend off to make it to the concert. Fareeha gave him tickets soon after the job came through. Had them ever since. Safe and sound in his wallet. He couldn’t thank her enough for looking out for his hide. She was an amazing friend to have. Truly. Worked miracles.

 

He wondered how she was right now--probably running around. She was running around this morning, too, when he arrived. He wondered how she managed. Haha. Jesse also wondered what Hana had in-store. Maybe a shoutout of some kind. He didn’t go to concerts very often. Shoutouts happened at concerts, right? What else would it be? An invitation to get on stage? Would Hana even be on stage during the concert? It’s was Lúcio’s show, the last time Jesse checked. Well, he knew Hana and Lúcio were friends, of sorts. Celebrity-types were something else.

 

Hanzo was also something else.

 

Driving up to Meadows, staying for a cup of coffee, and leaving the same way he came back. Jesse had to hand it to him. He himself could only take 7 hours. Couldn’t imagine driving for an entire 14 in a day. Hanzo was made of steel.

 

Hanzo stayed to talk a bit after finishing his drink. They’d have to talk a lot more in the future. There was so much of Hanzo Jesse didn’t know. It was almost scary. Jesse wondered what his life had been up to this point, until recently. It wasn’t something he could take lightly. He didn’t want to pretend like it didn’t exist. It was something they had to dissect together. He hardly could have predicted that he and Genji weren’t always on the best terms. They seemed to be best of friends, just fine.

 

Building a relationship was challenging. Jesse had to admit.

 

They were hit by the AC as they entered the building. Hanzo continued to cradle the cardboard in his arms.

 

Jesse looked around for a recycling bin. Maybe there would be one in a dressing room. Did they want to drop off a folded box in the room Lúcio would be using to dress for the show? Lúcio was most likely in the building already. Didn’t want to disturb him, or anything. They decided on asking a guard to direct them to the bins behind the building. They followed the directions and went back outside to dispose of the cardboard. Took a few minutes to get the back door to open, but they figured it out. Push, not pull.

 

Hanzo asked him if Fareeha had given him tickets. Jesse said that it was taken care of. They decided on getting food from a takeout place nearby and picking seats. Jesse was glad he brought a blanket they could sit on for the concert. They went back to Jesse’s car for a moment to retrieve the thing.

 

\--

 

It was 5 minutes till showtime. Jesse and Hanzo were sitting on a picnic blanket towards the back of the venue. The sun would set by the time the concert was over. They faced the fact that it would go on until midnight. These people didn’t seem like they would let Lúcio go without a few encores. The field filled up fast after the doors opened for audience members. They enjoyed the few moments they had alone before it flooded. The largest moshpit Jesse had ever seen formed 15 minutes to showtime. All the way up until the audience fence.

 

“How long are you staying?”

 

“I leave Sunday night. I gotta drive all the way up again”.

 

“I did not expect to see you until winter started anew”.

 

Jesse didn’t know how to respond. “Aw, did you miss me that much?”

 

Hanzo gave him a look. It was less than three days since they last saw each other. It was such a short amount of time. But to answer his question--did he miss him? “What else were you expecting?”

 

Jesse scooched and made a motion with his arm. He paused before touching him. Hanzo gave him a nod, and Jesse put his arm around Hanzo’s shoulder.

 

“What do you think of me?” Hanzo asked. Succinct. To the point.

 

Jesse didn’t know what to think. Or at least, his opinion on Hanzo weren’t totally formulated. He had many opinions on different aspects of who he was. Composing everything he was feeling wasn’t possible. Jesse smelled Hanzo’s hair. Probably showered yesterday.

 

A few minutes ‘till showtime. The venue was packed. Blankets and people on all corners. People standing near the front. They could see the entire stage from here.

 

Jesse wondered what it was like to be handed the reigns to a company upon family death. From what he gathered--Hanzo had mixed feelings about his father. As he should. And then turn the position down a few weeks later. He had his reasons. Jesse wasn’t sure if he totally liked them was all. He got upset earlier.Why throw away that level of financial security? It was something Jesse was privileged with now.. Hard work only got him part of the way. Luck and available opportunities did the rest. Couldn’t have made it this far alone or just on merit. His success was due to other people giving him a chance. So was Hanzo’s. Just happened that Hanzo was born with connections.

 

Jesse took a breath.

“Positive”.

 

What happened if they got married? What would their joint bank account look like?

 

They earned about the same. Similar position levels. Steady levels of growth. Hanzo had more piled up than him.

 

There wasn’t much to worry about. Jesse didn’t think so. It was Hanzo’s call. CEO to office worker was a jump, but they were well paid positions. ALAM was prestigious in reputation. Didn’t even get paid for being active CEO for two weeks due to his leave.

 

Hm.

 

Pink and green lights illuminated the state. It looked like the show was about to start. There was a roar from the audience. Hana came out in a pink suit with a bunny pin on one of the lapels. She had her hair pinned into a bob and had a red headband on that was tied into a bow on the top. She appeared on one of the large screens that displayed from the ceiling of the venue  building, above the stage.

 

“Hello, hello, hello. D.Va here, gamer extraordinare. You may know me as the former top player of StarCraft II. I’m here to open up the show while Lúcio preps himself. Welcome one and all to Lúcio’s opening concert for the Go Heart tour. We are so happy that all of you were able to attend. You all should have received information about local charities. Mei’s Ice Cream is one we would like to highlight before the show. Mei-Ling Zhou is a woman of color that hosts a monthly meeting for LGBT+ youth in the Ellie city area. She has opened the doors up for donations for her monthly youth workshop. She tries to cater to the emotional, mental, and social health of LGBT+ youth in the area, by hosting her monthly event. Teens and young adults come in to experience a safe space where they can be themselves, meet other youths in the area to talk about their experiences, and learn about LGBT+ resources in the area. Honestly, it’s amazing, and I would consider stopping by if you haven’t. Volunteers are also accepted”.

 

Hana paused to take a breath.

 

“We will be announcing other spectacular organizations and groups as the night progresses. Next up, we have a special international cause that will be presented to us by Satya Vaswani called Kits for Kids. Now, now, before we begin. I just have one more thing to say”.

 

The lights all turned orange and fanned out towards the audiences. A spotlight was placed on Hana. The glitter in her red headband glimmered.

 

“One of my friends finally got a boyfriend. Let’s give him a round of applause”.

 

Hanzo gave Jesse a look. Jesse felt his face go red. Jesse wanted to tell him he had no idea Hana would call him out before the concert started, but Hana kept talking.

 

The crowd roared and faded back down.

 

“Alright, camera people. Let’s get the Heart camera on ‘em! Jesse and boyfriend, just sit tight for a moment”.

 

Hanzo and Jesse saw their faces go up on the screen. The audience could see them next to each other, Jesse with his arm wrapped around Hanzo’s shoulder. Their image was framed by a semi-transparent heart. Smaller hearts emerged from the bottom of the screen and began to travel upwards.

 

“Let’s give these two a round of applause. Congrats, Jesse!”

 

They heard cheers. Whistling. Aw’s.

 

Hanzo wanted to cover his face until they were off screen.

 

“Alright, that’s enough. Thank you camera crew. You’ve done good locating them. My mom says she made you two a reservation to a fancy restaurant for tonight. Talk to her later for the deets”.

The audience laughed. Some oo’s. Someone from the moshpit yelled “GG mom!”

 

Hana continued.

 

“GG mom indeed. Alright. Go Heart? Let’s start. Here’s Lúcio Correia dos Santos with his latest song, Espere-me”.

 

Hana walked off stage and the stage was illuminated with white lights. Lúcio came into view. The screens went white. Lúcio made it on stage, followed by a few musicians. He was wearing a yellow shirt that read “Viva a revolução”. His hair was tied up into a bun. The tips of his dreads were green. He had a tad of liquid eyeliner on. Jeans. Sneakers. The crowd started roaring. It was loud. Lúcio took the microphone off of the stand and took a few steps towards the front of the stage after reaching the center.

 

“Thank you for the opening, Hana. Let’s get this concert underway!”

 

He lifted the microphone up.

 

More cheering.

 

The lights dimmed and turned blue. The concert began. Lúcio got behind his MIDI board. One of violinists started the song.

 

Hanzo looked at Jesse. Jesse, Hanzo. They decided to leave.

 

The air was cool as they exited the venue. It was about sunset time. Jesse checked his phone and saw that Fareeha had sent him the information for the restaurant already. Spider’s Den. Interesting. Wasn’t that one downtown? He had never gone before. Heard it was on one of the top floors of a ritzy hotel. No business going up all the way there. There were plenty of eateries on the ground. He would make sure to send her a thank you later. Probably made the reservation a while ago. Good planning.

 

They went out to the parking lot and found Jesse’s car in the sea of vehicles. They could hear the dull roar coming from the concert. Muted applause and cheering.

 

They decided to take a seat in Jesse’s car. Jesse got into the driver’s seat. Hanzo occupied the one on the other side of the car. Jesse turned on the heater a bit. It was getting chilly outside. Hanzo remembered the last time he saw the vehicle. A fond memory, now.

 

They sat in silence for a bit, ‘till Hanzo’s phone went off.

 

“Call from: Genji Shimada”.

 

Jesse resisted chuckling. Hanzo turned his phone off and stuffed it back in one of his pockets. Not this time. He felt his stomach churn. He spoke up before it became worse.

 

“Will you go out with me?”

 

Hanzo looked into Jesse’s eyes. He could see some of the light coming from the sunset reflect off his face. Orange. Jesse sparkled. He looked surprised, in the good kind of way.

 

“Sure as hell will”.

 

They smiled at each other.

 

Silence. The sunset continued.

 

Hanzo wondered what would become of them: a long way to go from here, it looked like. But it was exciting. Felt like he could fly.

 

“Where did you buy your button up? Would you be willing to hand it to me?” Hanzo asked.

 

Jesse laughed. “You’d have to fight me for it, sweet pea”.

 

The heater warmed them up.

  
THE END


End file.
